<p>
I like this sentiment!</p>
<p>I almost did not take the SAT’s a second time. When you get your results they also tell you the percentage of people who took the exam again with your scores and the percentages of people diong better or worse.</p>
<p>On my first time they predicted if I took all sections again there would be a greater likelyhood of doing worse than better. So I did not request my scores (2nd time) be sent to any schools. But my results are in and I did better.</p>
<pre><code> Oct 05 Oct 06 Change
</code></pre>
<p>Verbal…740…800…+60<br>
Math…720…700…-20
Writing…690…800…+110
Total…2150…2300…+150</p>
<p>I’m sending the new scores.</p>
<p>“Writing…690…800…+110”</p>
<p>Have to say this one caught my eye! Did you work on it?</p>
<p>to the OP-- I know you won’t believe me, but in many cases, HS kids take their cues from their parents when things go wrong. If your attitude is that this is the end of the world and that the system is unfair and that life at a competitive HS stinks… then she’ll internalize that. If your attitude is that you love and cherish her and that she’s more than the sum of her parts, she’ll shed a tear and move on, start to outline Plan B, and get moving on whatever the next step is.</p>
<p>I have seen so many instances of kids going into Freshman year of college with a huge chip on their shoulders… usually mom or dad’s chip that got stuck there and won’t dislodge… and it’s very sad. Wherever she ends up she’ll be challenged, she’ll work hard; she’ll learn to learn; she’ll be exposed to new ideas and new thinking. Her test scores may or may not be a factor in her getting in to her first choice (lots of high scoring kids end up at their safety schools! I know this isn’t comforting to know…) but only she can determine if college will be a huge adventure, or a dull burden since she was denied at her first choice, the system is unfair, life stinks.</p>
<p>Help her dislodge that chip now.</p>
<p>A young person of my acquaintance had great grades, APs/Honors, varsity sports, etc. Totally average SATs – around 1000 M&V. Didn’t get into her first choice. Went to a small woman’s Div III, played varsity field hockey all fours years, got major leadership roles, graduated summa cum laude (one B+ in four years) in finance/econ. That school took the raw material and made her a leader and gave her the confidence to stand up for what she deserved. She is now 26 and in investment banking, making multiples of what I used to make. Rejection was the best thing that ever happened to her!</p>
<p>
If her scores were already within range for those schools, it probably doesn’t make much of a difference what she scores. Except for a few very numbers oriented schools, “in the ballpark” is pretty much what they focus on for scores. Beyond that they are looking primarily at GPA and strength of curriculum. Higher scores may make a difference at some colleges for merit aid, but it is unlikely to make any difference whatsoever about getting accepted in the first place.</p>
<p>If her scores were below range for those schools it might be a different story – but the reason the midrange is published is to provide information as to what the general range of scores for admitted students, NOT to set a a competitive standard.</p>
<p>Mathmom:</p>
<p>Actually, the first time on the Writing portion I ran out of time. It took me too much time to outline my essay and I couldn’t do as good a job writing it as I would have liked. The second time I was better prepared to manage my time.</p>
<p>For the OP— I am sure that the magnitude of your response is a reflection of the depth of your care for your daughter, but now is the time to demonstrate a firm capacity to banish ‘automatic negative thoughts’- not to exaggerate them. If you on any level articulate the sentiment that her scores reflect societal ills, poor parental decisions, etc…then she cannot help but reflect your sentiments. Your daughter is the same person she was before the scores arrived, your life choices are the same as they were. She evidently is not a great test taker- she might be too divergent a thinker, too methodical in her approach, she may experience test taking anxiety. It is important to find an explanation for the test scores that does not catastrophize the situation, that reflects a more optimistic way of thinking. How about, “Glad those are over, now you have a chance to do what you are truly excellent at.” or…“Good thing there are so many great schools where they know the scores are not a reflection of your abilities.”…</p>
<p>If kids have to be,and to demonstrate excellence in only one way from an academic perspective then consistently high grades win out every time over great SAT scores. Kids with great scores and eh grades are labeled ‘slackers’ and subjected to all sorts of second guessing and moral judging. Kids with great grades and less than optimal scores on a single day of tests are regarded with a much more positive attribution-- they just don’t test well.</p>
<p>While it seems ‘unfair’ on some level if this simple fact deprives her of opportunities, the inability to weather an experience like this and develop a healthy attribution process deprives her of much much more…Go for it!</p>
<p>‘Disappointment is hard, and it’s okay not to know how to deal with it without crying when you’re still an adolescent.’</p>
<p>It’s also OK to cry over disappointment when one is an adult. It’s fine to have feelings. It’s healthy to have feelings. It’s normal to have feelings.</p>
<p>I cry over disappointments, and I’m 55 years old. After I cry, I pick myself up and move on. There’s nothing wrong with crying over disappointments.</p>
<p>As many here have said, people learn how to develop spines and how to meet challenges through disappointments. While it hurts to see one’s child disappointed, in the longterm, it would be much worse to have a child who never has had a disappointment and then grows into an adult who completely shatters when life throws him or her the inevitable disappointments, most of which are much worse than what one experiences as an adolescent.</p>
<p>On another thread, someone talked about a college freshman who had her first academic disappointment (I think it was a B or something) after she got to college and was so unprepared for it that she comitted suicide. Maybe that wasn’t the full story, but having some disappointments while still in the family “nest” and seeing that your parents still love you and think you’re great and don’t expect perfection…there’s something to be said for that.</p>
<p>“The second time I was better prepared to manage my time.”</p>
<p>Good for you. Had you practiced the format or just were more prepared for pitfalls from having done it once?</p>
<p>anitaw: Unfortunately many merit scholarships/honors programs are driven by SAT scores, which is very frustrating for kids who either had a poor day or are poor test takers. My daughter is in a similar situation to the OP daughter. She had hoped to go up 20 points in order to be more competitive for scholarships. Instead she dropped 80 points. It is unfortunate that one day plays such an important role for these programs.</p>
<p>We are ALL more than numbers. This is a learning and growing opp. for both of you. There are plenty of wonderful schools that suit all kinds of individuals. Avoid the pitfalls of being a sheep, wearing only “designer” clothes (analagous to designer schools), forge your own path!</p>
<p>Of course we’re all more than numbers, but it sure is nice when our numbers reflect who we know we are. :)</p>
<p>
Compared to the PSAT/NMSQT and specifically the scholarships resulting therefrom, ACT/SAT based scholarships are the epitome of fairness. 
At least you can retake the ACT/SAT.</p>
<p>There is a talent to swallowing bitter and letting it strengthen your backbone. The Chinese are fond of saying that Americans can’t do bitter. It’s true–espeically consdiering what the Chinese have been through in the last 50 years.</p>
<p>Cyber hugs to you, ivory, for your hurt. I would be heartbroken too. However, in my experience, bitter sends you farther than sweet. I picked the wrong high school and spent four miserable years there. Had I been blissful, would I have gone to university with so much bloody-mindedness? No. </p>
<p>I didn’t get into two out of three of my college choices. I was finally accepted off the waitlist by one of the schools–in August–after I’d been to orientation at the only school that accepted me. Talk about bottom of the barrel! When I showed talent in architecture school, I was heavily discouraged by professors who were unused to females in the profession. I went through quite a few critique sessions chanting an interior mantra (Don’t cry. Don’t cry). I’ve had famous architect professors tell me that I read too much. At critical points, my parents withdrew their financial support for my education. On jobsites, I’ve had hammers dropped at my feet from several stories above, but in the end, I prevailed. I let those bitter experiences shape my spine but not my sense of humour. With that spine, I accomplished more than the vast majority in my profession.</p>
<p>I too have a dd that does not test well, has taken the hardest courses available (no fluff), including honors and ap classes. For whatever it is worth, this is how I guided her.</p>
<p>First, I made sure that we had rolling admissions included in her apps. We applied to too many schools, and yet that may come back to “haunt” us with too many choices, that is what I directed her to do. I also became caught up with what if she does not have a choice. Probably the biggest mistake I made was having her have too many “safe” schools.</p>
<p>I am happy to tell you the pressure is off. I really think that the big thing is to have choices. My dd has been accepted to Indiana University at Bloomington, University of Tampa and yesterday Guilford. While Indiana might be the “best” of where she has been accepted so far, it is a very large school which has me concerned. However, Tampa and Guilford are smaller, althought they may or may not be as well regarded…I really do not know. That is my new dilema, but we will figure it out after all of the acceptances or denials come in.</p>
<p>The point is, because of knowing who she is, and how she feels about herself, I knew that once she had something concrete under her belt that she would feel better, and she did.</p>
<p>So basically my suggestion is this. Find a rolling admissions college that you believe that your daughter or son could be accepted to. Apply there, and believe me, once your child knows that they will be able to go to a college they will feel so much better. Again, the name of the school may or may not be as prestigious as another classmate’s, but you may want to remind your child that the “prestige importance” will more than likely be more important for where they do their continuing education (masters or med school or whatever).</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Thank you all for this thread; it’s come close to home for us. S’s first combined SAT is 2080; like the OP’s D, he goes to an ultra-competitive HS (although public in his case). His PSAT suggested his likely SAT score would be in the 2200 range, so the scores were a disappointment. Because I HATE the numbers-driven approach to college, I discouraged him from repeating the test. (He also has a very heavy senior course load with 4 AP classes, and lots of college app essays to write.)</p>
<p>However, after reading the epic of yanimated’s D and her great score gain, I did a lot of soul-searching and signed him up for both the December ACT and SAT. I hate that the numbers matter, but I want him to have every chance for admission and for merit aid. I still feel somehow like I’m sending the message that his score (hopefully not him) is “not good enough”. </p>
<p>Hate the whole thing, but this too shall pass…for us and the OP as well.</p>
<p>Helimom… I find your screen name interesting. I am struck by your statement that YOU signed your son up for both the SAT & ACT. What does YOUR SON want? </p>
<p>I went through the whole process last year with a kid who seems to routinely test below her ability level… and I never once suggested to her that she repeat a test. Instead, I gave her a list of test dates and deadlines for signing up, and asked her to tell me which, if any, she wanted to take. </p>
<p>If your son is in a ultra-competitive high school, what is probably more important than his test score is his GPA, course selection, and class standing relative to other kids at his high school applying to the same colleges. Even if the school doesn’t rank, if there are 6 other kids also applying to the exact same college, then it will be easy for the ad com to compare. So if your son is one of the top students, it probably doesn’t matter if other kids have better test scores – and if he is overshadowed by other students when it comes to grades, even 800’s on every SAT probably won’t help if the students are competing for the same spots. Of course, if your son is a URM or recruited athlete or that oboe player that the colleges can’t seem to find anywhere, then different factors come into play.</p>
<p>My advice: go off the beaten path in the college search. Encourage your son to explore and apply to colleges that are not heavily favored by his classmates. The high school itself is probably an asset at colleges that do not receive so many apps - so branch out. </p>
<p>Keep in mind that Yanimated’s daughter had particular lofty aspirations, hoping to get into a specific program at an Ivy that only takes in 40 students a year. Sometimes the problem is not with the student’s profile but with their choice of colleges - not that it’s a bad thing to aim for an Ivy – but students make it tough for themselves when they won’t consider anything else.</p>
<p>2080? That’s what my son got and he was very happy to be “one and done” (although we prefer to think of it as 1450 + 630 writing)</p>