Is it possible that she just want to…say NYC…for a few days…and will just return?
So…FM…did she have a phone when she arrived? Why did she need a newer one?
Frightening! I am hoping this is not a human trafficking situation.
This is all pretty confusing. Not that it matters, but how long were you scheduled to host these girls? Was it a 2 week program or a one month program (earlier it was described as a month, but now 2 weeks). Maybe she is older than 16 (having memories of the olympic Chinese gymnasts who were much younger than reported) and maybe there is some other plan. No student in an exchange program, whether of 2 weeks or a month, is going to get a real job in such a short duration, and certainly wouldn’t have the right visa requirements for this.
“What do some of you expect fauxmaven to do? Lock her in at night? And the French girl is supposed to be confined to barracks for the weekend because the other one took off? Everyone possible was notified. At that point, it seems to me that getting out of the house and entertaining the innocent French girl rather than sitting around brooding is perfectly reasonable.”
I would think the program would want to pull the French girl from fauxmaven’s care – not because fauxmaven is at fault, necessarily, but she can’t be as good of a host as she might have been because she’s obviously going to be distracted by the investigation.
As I mentioned upthread, when I was overseas in France as a high school student, another girl on my program was with a family who was negligent and got her in a car accident. The program leaders immediately asked the other French host parents to see who had the ability to take her in, and she moved in that evening with my host family. So they can move quickly if needed, I would imagine.
I worry about trafficking. Regardless of the girl’s intent, even if she meant to travel to the US to get a job, she’s a 16-year old who speaks no English. Odds are very high she is being trafficked. Fear of deportation may keep her from trying to run away. Can you imagine being a teenager where our understand nothing and you realize you’re going to become a slave or raped? I hope the police find her.
Is the French girl a good guest? Is she appreciative? Is her English improving?
(as I said before, all French teens I know who went on a summer exchange returned loving Americans and the US, racing about their host family. This one will have an adventure to recount on top of it!)
About churches… (remember Hen we worried about that 2 days ago?) Because a few days ago, a French priest was stabbed to death during a mass (there were only 2people present, one of whom, a sister, ran out and raised alarm) by two ‘radicalized’ teens, French people from all faiths were invited to attend Friday mosque and French Muslims specifically were invited to Mass. In the village where the priest was stabbed, 40 Catholics attended Friday service at the mosque. The imam and the priest were very good friends who organized activities in common. Many Muslims then came to church on Sunday, which was dedicated to reaching out all over France; a young Muslim said he was surprised to see and hear that the message was very close to what he hears at the mosque, and the texts similar. It is apparently a very big deal, with Islam scholars calling for a major conference on 'modern Islam '.
I just want to say how sorry I am @fauxmaven that you are going through this. Virtual hugs to you. I can’t imagine the turmoil that must be happening at your home.
The host families are not necessarily in direct contact with the actual program that the students are with. Often there is a local/regional person who deals with the agency and finds host families for many different organizations. That person may also arrange for local schools to accept the student as an exchange student, which means, if it is a public school, that it is free. That’s the way it worked here, for some of our students.
We had problems with our Korean student, and part of it was caused by the fact that the agency in Korea had clearly misled both his family AND the local person on several key points.
The organization these girls are with sounds very reputable, given the amount of daily programming they are providing. But I can easily see how traffickers could help her fill out an application and everything would look fine on that end. There is a limit to the amount of investigation they can do. Especially because 99.99% of the time there is no reason to be suspicious.
Thanks for explaining all that, Consolation. Sounds like things go well the vast majority of times. Too bad the OP is involved in a rare problem like this. Hope the young woman is okay.
What kind of problems did you have, Consolation?
When do the public schools start up there? Unlike some places (public school started here today!!) IIRC most schools in the NE start around Labor Day. Has that changed? If not, what classes are being attended by these students for 2 or 4 weeks on August? It sounds like they would not be attending with the students during the traditional school year.
^^^It is plausible they are attending a summer language program/class, not tied to the school system.
I wonder why she wanted a new iphone right away, so her parents couldn’t track her or look up the call history?
I really hope she is ok.
The basic issue was that his parents thought that he was coming here to complete HS. The local agent, our HS, and we all thought that he was an exchange student who would be here for one semester. Our HS only accepted him tuition-free on that basis. His family also thought that we were receiving some kind of a stipend. We were not.
I found out what was going on within a couple of weeks, since I spent a lot of time with him and had many serious talks with him. He was deeply homesick and missed his friends, who like him apparently were not among the successful in Korea’s brutal secondary school system. This was compounded by the fact that he thought he was going to be in the US for years. (He was actually born in the US, when his parents were grad students at UIUC, so could get a US passport.)
His English skills were not sufficient for him to succeed in normal HS classes, and were not up to his college aspirations. If he actually wanted to get into a school like MIT–his stated goal, I don’t think he had any real idea what that meant–he needed to have a different plan of action. What he needed to do, in my view, was spend his time here concentrating on beefing up his English–watch American TV, read, talk to us, participate in family activities-- then go somewhere else and matriculate as a sophomore, prepared to really study.
Instead, he continued to obsessively watch Korean videos on the computer we provided for him, and listen to Korean music. People in Korea called him at 11PM or later our time–never introducing themselves to me, who was the person who answered the phone–and harangued him until 1 AM. Sometimes it was his parents, sometimes a wealthy Korean girl whom he had met when he first arrived in the US, on the “travelling around” portion of the visit. He declined family activities. He wouldn’t do stuff with my S, who was a senior.
I spent time with the science teachers trying to figure out his placement, since the school systems didn’t match. (As an example, in chemistry, he had had to memorize the Periodic Table in Korean, but had never done an experiment.) I spent time with the guidance office trying to arrange his schedule and clear up trouble he got into with a teacher. I talked to the HS social worker and arranged counselling for him around smoking cessation* and his other issues.
*His family lied on his application and said he didn’t smoke. His family knew that it would not be acceptable here, and expected him to simply quit cold turkey. He lied to me about smoking the very first day–I smelled it–but then confessed. I told him that not only is it illegal for a 16 yr old to buy tobacco products here, but we would not tolerate smoking in our house. (Apparently an incredibly high percentage of Korean men smoke.) He was astounded when he ran out after a couple of days–I had warned him that that would be it–and I refused to buy more for him. This was a huge mess, with him sneaking cigarettes, smoking sitting in a wide open bedroom window in February and throwing the butts out on the porch roof. He got a big supply when he visited a cousin at NYU over break. Finally I caught him at it: he saw me, I saw him. Big confrontation. Told him to go to his room and think about it. He comes downstairs with a bag full of cigarettes and lighters, hands it to me, and says he is deeply ashamed. I consulted with the local coordinator and we decided to put him on formal probation. She would have sent him home at that point if I wanted, but I said let’s give him a chance, I feel sorry for the kid.
I could go on and on. His father contact the guidance counselor, never me, about his future, which is how SHE found out that they didn’t realize he was an exchange student. The parents acted like we were paid people running an inn, or something, rather than in loco parentis with their son as a guest in our home.
I could go on. It was NOT a positive experience. I felt so sorry for the kid, and did my utmost to support him.
Hugs, FM. This is such a tough situation to be in! Many girls who get trafficked in simply vanish because the authorities have limited resources to continue searching (and frankly, there are not many incentives because there is not much publicity or family outrage etc.). If I were in FM’s shoes, I would be constantly hounding the homeland security and whoever else is involved to make sure the case does not go cold. Human trafficking is a horrible, horrible problem.
Consolation, wow. We dodged a big one when we realized that the German exchange student we were asked to host was being sent to the US for “rehab.”
Our Swiss student was a dream. 
He was with YFU at the local CC. (Which was a ridiculous academic mismatch for him, an elite student in Switzerland, but it didn’t matter since he was going to university when he got home.)
Wow, Consolation. The only programs I have been aware of were like the one I was on - it’s clearly a school-to-school exchange program for 4-6 weeks. That’s some story!
@soozievt - apologies if I was unclear. My post about school was in response to the first paragraph of post #166.
It sounds like the girls are attending a language school. In my city we have several different language schools that bring in hundreds of high schoolers each summer. Most of them are wealthy as I think the programs are expensive. They advertise for host families on Craigslist and in the newspaper. The students also have options of private apartments. For many of them the first stop is the Apple Store. I have known several friends who have worked for these programs and a few who have hosted students. The students have a lot of freedom. The hosts are asked to provide meals and opportunities for the student to practice English. The students have classes in English and are also taken on excursions to various sites and activities. They have a lot of freedom.
The schools also have longer programs for over 18 English learners.
I hope the girl is found safe.
I am currently on hold for Homeland Security. I havebeen holding for 29 minutes so far!
Keep us posted, FM. What an ordeal!