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<p>I’m not talking about the ones you have framed in our house. We have those in ours, too (from my wedding.)</p>
<p>I’m talking about the ones that aren’t on display that are in a closet somewhere. When was the last time you looked that those from your wedding?</p>
<p>As I mentioned earlier, we saw my niece earlier this month and she got out the wedding picture taken of the extended family (from 5 years ago.)</p>
<p>At my D’s wedding, we had professional photos taken only with immediate family, that included uncles. aunts,(all grandparents are deceased) and cousins of the B&G. Rather than spending the entire reception hour doing photos,my D and her H decided to mingle with the guests and had photos taken spontaneously.
We also did table to table toasting and had group photos done then.
Every single guest had his/her picture taken with the B&G that way.</p>
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Has your mil continued to act rudely and selfishly throughout your marriage? How is your relationship with her? Does she know how disappointed you were that the photographer missed some key parts of the reception?</p>
<p>^ There is not enough time, space, emotional energy, etc., to explain the 22 years since. That would take an entirely different forum. ;)</p>
<p>Suffice to say, this was significant foreshadowing of the type of undermining, selfish, behavior that was to come and has continued. For the most part we have found a peaceful co-existence because I love my husband and know how much family means to him, and I wanted my boys to have a close relationship with their grandparents (they do, and that is a blessing in any child’s life). I have tried to take some as a learning lesson of how ‘not to be a MIL’ as I have three boys and would never want to alienate my future DIL’s or make them feel the way I have. I remind DH from time to time when his mother acts up “please never let me act like this!”.</p>
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<p>Ouch! Wow, that would be very upsetting. Hopefully you had other friends or family taking their own pics of these shots?</p>
<p>We were in the same position as you regarding having to hurry to keep the schedule moving due to a reception following ours. We did not have the luxury of a one hour photo shoot after the wedding as someone previously mentioned.</p>
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<p>I agree!</p>
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<p>Last weekend, as a matter of fact. What difference does it make how often someone looks at them? Are you suggesting that photos shouldn’t be taken because you won’t look at them on a regular basis?</p>
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<p>I’m suggesting that people shouldn’t get upset over who is or isn’t in photographs because they are rarely looked at later. I think most husband/wives spend little time looking back at their wedding day pictures or videos.</p>
<p>Friend invited his dad at the last minute, a source of major trouble through my friend’s life. This was a “do the right thing” invite. At the same time, friend’s mom was suffering the end stages of a major disease. The B&G’s photo request: as much of the mom as possible, don’t care if there are none of the dad.</p>
<p>Guess what? A well-meaning friend, “auntie,” know-it-all or whatever sort of bull in a china shop, was so happy to see Dad there that she took over. Lots of photos and video of Dad- after all, that’s what the “friend” thought was best. ONE pic of mom, at the church. I remember friend scrambling to see if any guests had caught pix of Mom on their own cameras.</p>
<p>If it’s not YOUR wedding, mind your manners.</p>
<p>Oh, lookingforward! This is far worse then any silly cake cutting picture I missed. It is so out of line for anyone, auntie, MOG, friend, or otherwise, to assume they can direct the employee of the B&G!! How devastating for your friend to have missed such special pictures of his mother at that time.</p>
<p>Best wedding photo story: Two years ago I attended a wedding( I was the best friend of the MOB.) The wedding took place at the large Beverly Hills home of the groom’s parents. The groom has a very sketchy brother ( here known as Uncle Stan)who may or may not be on drugs, but has served time for burglary and arson. The entire family was lined up on the large front steps of the house. The photographer asked OK…is EVERYONE here. The little flower girl said “no…Uncle Stan is in the house” …the simultaneous look of horror on everyone’s face and the sudden dash by virtually everyone into the house was priceless. I guess Uncle Stan is not trusted with valuables and there is more than one reason to want everyone in the picture.</p>
<p>^^^^^^That is priceless. Did the photog get a photo of the group reaction? Too funny.</p>
<p>^ H only got off one shot on his phone of the backs of the wedding party headed for the house. So good. It was indeed a “pass the popcorn” affair. Lots of great family drama—entertaining as long as it’s not YOUR family.</p>
<p>In our family (both mom’s and dad’s sides), group pictures are always taken at the reception (fairly late–after the cake cutting, etc.) These will include aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. Also, photographs are taken of each table, usually at the end of dinner. These would be in addition to formal photos of the wedding party taken at the church after the ceremony–extended family wouldn’t be included in these, though photos of the bride’s and groom’s immediate families (parents/siblings and their spouses/children if any) with bride and groom might be taken at the church.<br>
Several of my cousins recently posted some of these old group photos on FB and everyone loved seeing them. I look at my own wedding photos occasionally–it is bittersweet to remember my grandparents, aunts, uncles who have passed on.</p>
<p>Our family also takes photos at funerals of the immediate family with the deceased. (H was surprised to hear of this tradition–but he and his sibs did not at all object to my taking photographs at their parents’ funerals).</p>
<p>Nowadays, everyone is directed to the photographer’s website to view or purchase any prints they want.<br>
IMO, the bride and groom should give each wedding party member one photo of the wedding party. H and a couple of my kids were in weddings that we had to travel long distance, pay for clothes, hotel, etc.–and in one case spent HOURS posing for photos–never to be offered a photo, or to be told, “here’s where you can BUY one. . .” just bad manners, IMO.</p>
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<p>So true. I love other peoples’ famlies…it’s just my own that makes me crazy.</p>
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OMG! I cannot begin to imagine how livid you must have been (I know I would have). After reading some of the stories here, I have made a mental note that, when the time comes for DD to marry, I will absolutely have a conversation with my sister that she is NOT to approach the photographer. NO bossy aunt shenanigans will be tolerated!</p>
<p>I used to do wedding photog as a side job to help pay for college. I usually set up a plan for the shots to take, and who to include in the shots, a few months before the ceremony. I found that many people have very specific preferences. There is almost always a certain aunt or cousin or et cetera person that is quite, well, hated, and this person is identified and asked to be excluded from “principal shots”. Yeah, you know what I mean, and who I mean. It’s the bride’s day, so she gets the final say.</p>
<p>We typically do a “whole family” picture after cake cutting. Many family members travel from out of state, so it’s nice to see everyone in a photo from time to time.
Not as bad as previously mentioned, but at our wedding, MIL was insisting on yet another family picture while the DJ was annoucing the FOB/Bride dance. My poor dad was on the dance floor waiting…sigh. Pretty much sums up MIL. We had already taken a number of family photos.</p>
<p>Note for future: Photographer to follow directions of Bride/Groom. Not bossy relatives.</p>
<p>I have also been extremely camera shy. Thus it was that I realized, three days before my wedding, that I had “forgotten” to hire a photographer. My fiance and I ran out and bought disposable cameras, which were just coming into vogue then, and put a couple on each table. We got some interesting results, including a photo of the son of my husband’s biggest client literally throwing up into the toilet bowl, a photo of my husband’s cousin and her extended family which we framed and refer to as “America’s Most Wanted dance the Hora,” a photo of the interior of a friend’s child’s nostril and, oh, about 4 pictures of the wedding couple. I framed one - of me using a hula hoop in my wedding dress - and have never looked at the rest since. Several weeks after the wedding, I received 3 photos in the mail from my mother’s wealthiest cousin, with a note that said: “Thank you for the camera. We were on our way to another wedding from yours so we used it there!” The 3 photos were one of them and their children, one of their son and his wife and the third was of their daughter and her husband. None was of us! I have no family group photos because I didn’t want any. </p>
<p>I am the person who hides in the bathroom when she realizes the photographer is approaching her table to take the group photo.</p>
<p>Along PolarBear’s lines, I did wedding photos also. I always had a list of “must haves” dictated beforehand and extras by the circumstances, desires and foremost the bride. Upfront I knew who were the family members and the relations so I could get good all-around pix of the family.</p>