<p>We had a lot of poor friends and I think we got every darn placemat we put on our registry! Parents gave us silver and in-laws gave us the china, which was awfully nice and generous of them. We still use the placemats, but my favorite gifts are the ones we didn’t ask for. A friend of my parents gave us a tiny pottery vase that is perfect for wildflowers or flowers from the herb garden. Another friend gave me a very simple crystal bud vase. Someone else gave us a 1950s coffee set - it’s so hideous it’s cool. I used it for all the PTA executive board meetings at my house. We didn’t get any money either. (Very WASPY family - at least on my side.)</p>
<p>I love the vases we received and I still think about the people who gave them to us each time we use them. I also love all the bowls we received-- fruit bowls, salad bowls, candy dishes, etc. I also like the Nambe serving pieces we received. I love the pots and pans I received from my husband’s grandparents and the silverware I received from my grandparents.</p>
<p>In general, at this point, we tend to chip in with other families to give bigger gifts. For the last two weddings, we gave complete expensive cookware sets.</p>
<p>We got a nice turkey platter which gets used 3 or 4 times a year. I probably wouldn’t have one to this day if I hadn’t gotten it as a gift. I always think of the giver when I get it out of the hutch.</p>
<p>About 8 months before I got married, I was looking at china with my beloved childless aunt. We saw a pattern that we both fell in love with. My aunt went into the hospital the next week for a fairly routine surgery but had a heart attack on the table and died. Soon thereafter my equally heartbroken mother and I were cleaning out my aunt’s apartment when my mother called my into the spare room to see several huge boxes. My aunt had bought every single piece of that beautiful china for me. I couldn’t believe it. My husband and I have been married 31 years. We use that china every chance we get and the set is still pristine. Not so much as a chip on anything, despite some very close calls over the years. No gift has ever meant more to me!</p>
<p>1ofeach, that is the sweetest story. Your aunt was very special. </p>
<p>DH’s roommate gave us salt and pepper shakers. They were cheap glass with a design painted on. It was sort of a gag gift because when they lived together, they never had S&P when they needed it. We still use those silly things every day. </p>
<p>Out of curiousity, I just looked in my wedding album. I had nine wedding showers/luncheons…got lots of knickknacks some of which I never used. We recently sold our house of 23 years and did a lot of cleaning out. I donated some of those wedding gifts to Goodwill. Many had never been used and were in the original box!</p>
<p>I had Canadian relatives and every gift from them was made in Canada. Some were quite beautiful. I have trays with the crests of each providence and a maple leaf spoon shelf.</p>
<p>In early days, we gave coolers and hammocks to friends for their weddings as those were things we valued and used a lot.</p>
<p>greenbutton–love your story, will remember that</p>
<p>1ofeach–your story made me cry, how very touching that your aunt bought you every piece. </p>
<p>I too cherish the actual gifts received, and of course don’t remember all the cash gifts, (which was common/expected in NY) my dear friend bought a beautiful ceramic soup tureen, that still makes it’s place to holiday dinner tables, and makes me think of her.</p>
<p>My most-used and most-appreciated gift was a set of Henckels knives. </p>
<p>I grew up in a small Southern town where no one gave $$ as a wedding gift. But they sure liked to give ashtrays. I’m sure those are all in a cabinet somewhere, but none were ever used.</p>
<p>We did register but it was mostly for our dishes - the Pfaltzgraff that I’m sure many of you had on your table for everyday use 30ish years ago!! I still have a few pieces of that pattern - ours was the tanish (wheat color) with a blue pattern in the middle. I can’t remember what else we might have registered for - silverware I guess and some serving type pieces. </p>
<p>Had no interest in china then, still don’t. Glad I never felt forced into adopting a pattern because I clearly would have never used or appreciated it! </p>
<p>It amazes me now when my girls ask me questions about my wedding - the planning, the menu, the place, the gifts - all that- how much I really didn’t put much thought into the process - I just kind of went along with whatever was the “typical” thing to do, my mom was the same and honestly, the ceremony and reception while nice was just kind of a formality - I just wanted to be married and living 24/7 with my husband!!!</p>
<p>1ofeach you have made me cry.</p>
<p>We got gobs of money and gobs of crystal (vases, bowls, candlesticks.) And for some odd reason several mantel clocks. I also received several Nambe pieces and a huge Armetale turkey platter and also a cermanic soup tureen, which I use almost every Thanksgiving for my pumpkin soup.</p>
<p>My parents gave us our silver, my in-laws gave us our crystal and my Aunt’s our china.</p>
<p>Reading this, I remembered that we received a Nambe baking/serving piece that was just right for meals for 2. I used to use it all the time. Now that we are just two again I’ll have to start using it again!</p>
<p>1ofeach: How very special. I suspect that your aunt was a major and loving force in your life. What a wonderful women. NOT because she purchased the china…but it seems that she listened…on many levels.</p>
<p>Had never heard of Nambe. Just checked the website and looking at the prices I know why! Our presents, 30+ years ago from a VERY small wedding at my mother’s house varied. Silver candlesticks, engraved glass serving platter (never used), corningware mixing and serving bowls (use all the time…missing the matching glass lids), set of everyday dishes that I wish we still had (too many breaks and could no longer find the pattern to replace), some cash and truly don’t remember what the other 20 guests gave!</p>
<p>We got a lot of cheese trays. It was odd.</p>
<p>EBay is a great source for china. </p>
<p>My parents, who were not wealthy, wanted to buy a certain set of china for me…Reynaud Morning Glory. It was $125 a place setting in the late 70s. When my parents died I was walking through a local store. They had a sale on it because the store was going out of business. I bought every piece that they had. </p>
<p>We use it every year for Passover. And for luncheons, brunches…(no we don’t have separate Passover dishes). I think of my mother every time I touch those plates. </p>
<p>Interesting what we “treasure” versus what we like.</p>
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<p>Ditto. Not in the budget of folks who were attending our wedding. Looked just to see what they had since so many folks had mentioned them and to see if S & fiancee might be interested.</p>
<p>Asked S last night if they had thought about ideas for gifts since a couple of folks have already asked me. No china, no silver, no crystal. They plan to prepare a “Scav List” (think UChicago scav hunt) of ideas geared towards their friends, most of whom are in grad school/recently graduated. Having seen what they do have, I have some ideas for some practical and affordable stuff. I do like the idea of a couple of beautiful things, too.</p>
<p>1ofeach, your story made me cry, too. What a treasure your aunt was.</p>
<p>What a very sweet aunt and priceless momento of the love you shared!</p>
<p>Just remembered that I gave all our friends who married shortly after we graduated law school the same thing, an electric rice cooker, as I was the only one among all my friends who had one and everyone seemed to think it was a cool appliance.</p>
<p>One of my friends gave me a wooden salt & pepper shaker set that still reminds me of her. I probably would not have purchased many of the nice things that were given to us and am glad we were gifted with them. I had a lot of the basics but asked for and received a 12 quart and 16 quart pot, as well as two 8 quart pots. (I come from a very large family & wanted to be able to serve them.)</p>
<p>1ofeach, thank you for sharing that one. Your aunt sounds like a fabulous woman.</p>
<p>And I am wondering why none of us had furniture!! My in-laws bought our bedroom set, but the bed rails were lost in a move and we lived for about 10 years without a bed – just our mattress set on the floor. For our 25th we bought a big wrought iron bed and it felt so weird to sleep “up”. But for the longest time we said our homes were furnished in “early american dead relative” because we got all the estate stuff.</p>
<p>What lovely memories everyone has shared. Thank you so much!</p>