So i wrap my white box (usually from Macy’s and almost always containing towels) in clear wrap? How does that help?
I think the instructions should be to wrap in a way that the item can be easily displayed, like in a basket or clear wrapping paper.
Wedding showers around here generally gave the guests make a “gown” for bride to be out of the wrapping paper and a bouquet out of the ribbons. The bouquets are saved and used for the rehearsal.
The number of games range, depending on age and interest of attendees.
I’ve probably been to dozens of showers—some don’t do the silly gown/bouquet activity but so far none have asked for clear wrapping. Somehow that seems more like a gift grab somehow.
And…I recently watched a video on the evils of plastic…all those poor sea creatures with stomachs full of discarded plastic material. So, now, every day, I’m noticing how much plastic people use and and often I reach for something plastic. Switching to “clear” wrap vs paper adds to the use of plastic. I know I’m not entirely on topic…just musing and trying to reduce my own personal use so I’m not sure how I’d respond to this request.
I’m in the camp who doesn’t like change. I also find it in poor taste to tell your guests how to wrap their gifts. I think receivers should just be appreciative guests bring them without giving specifics as to how they’d like them to appear.
I recently received invitations to a bridal shower and a rehearsal dinner which were both E-invites! Really? No more printed or even “fill in the blank” pretty invitation mailed to my home? To me, an E-invite to these events is just tacky. To open the rehearsal invite you even had to install a reader on your computer to read it!
When the wedding invitation came it was quite lovely but the reply card envelope went to the wedding planner which was the name of the business printed on a label slapped on the card. Tasteless and impersonal to me.
I had never heard of this either (and the “don’t wrap gift” and they just display them on a table thing) until this past year when my son got married. Yes, things have definitely changed and it is a “thing”!
My understanding is that the bride would prefer to spend the time chatting/socializing with the guests, rather than spend all that time opening gifts, especially if it is a large shower. My DIL wanted this for one of her showers but her mom was adamantly against it, so it didn’t happen.
Part of the issue (at least for my S and DIL) is that so many of their friends live all around the country and she (my DIL) felt bad having them travel to this shower and sit for an hour plus and watch her open gifts. In addition, it seems most brides have more than one shower so prefer this option for that reason. My DIL had 2 showers, one here that my friends hosted for her and one in her home town where she got married. The one in her home town was huge and the gift opening process did take a longggg time. I do think that people tend to lose interest when the bride is opening 60+ gifts!
In the end, I am still not a fan of this new thing but will admit to being a little more open about it now that it has been explained.
Now, don’t get me started on this new “Honeymoon fund” registry option…
It’s also a new one to me. The only time I think I would appreciate it if there were an extremely high number of guests, which would take hours. I enjoy watching them being opened, and the silly games. Not only do I just find that part enjoyable, but it gives structure to the event and gives the guests some time to breath from constant party-type conversation. I guess times are starting to change with this now.
The last couple of showers I’ve been invited to,baby and bridal, asked that gifts not be wrapped. For the baby showers, it was also asked that everyone use a book instead of a card and bring a package of disposable diapers. I’m going to a shower in April for a close niece and I purchased a diaper bag, filled it with three bags of diapers and hung some baby booties, onesies, winter hat, etc off the handles. Wasn’t sure what else to do.
My S is getting married in September. They really need nothing as they are both well-employed, own the house and have bought all the high end things over the few years they’ve been there. People were begging for a registry, which I looked at, and its filled with things they can easily afford, probably don’t need, and I think many items will be a waste. They have added the option of helping to pay for “Honeymoon Excursions” where you can choose one of their many excursions in the Canary Isles and help pay it down. I’m all for it.
How much do you typically spend at a bridal shower?
My solution to the “mountain of gifts”…
The honoree thanks guests as they arrive with wrapped gift, puts it aside, and explains she is waiting to unwrap with partner. Guests receive a prompt thank you note. Depending on the social circle, honoree and partner could do an unwrapping video to share with guests.
Some friends have gone paperless as part of a zero waste lifestyle. This includes wrapping and correspondence.
That I can understand. Asking guests not to wrap makes sense with these friends. Clear wrap doesn’t. However these friends would probably not have the shower, because they don’t want more stuff in their house.
It’s okay with me the rules change, at least in theory. I just want to understand why.
I don’t see how a display of clear wrapped gifts solves comparing gifts. If they aren’t labelled, guests are just going to be asking who gave what. Some of us grew up with a custom of viewing the wedding gifts. There are potential problems, imo.
Some of these showers have a lot of rules! “Bring a book instead of a card”, “Wrap in clear” “Don’t wrap” "Bring diapers"etc.!!! (I personally think cards are a waste and support a book or a recipe in place of a card)
I had a lovely shower. My three female housemates took me to the local diner for breakfast and gave me a waffle iron they had all chipped in to buy together. They were all poor grad students and forked out for wedding gifts later. I’ve never actually been to one of these make a dress from the paper and bouquets out of the ribbon kind of shower.
I think in The Crown there is a scene where all the wedding gifts are out on display on tables. I guess as long as cards are hidden you can ooh and aah over the stuff without your poorer friends feeling as bad about their less wonderful gifts. I think asking for a gift + a book + diapers is a bit much.
I like the book instead of a card for baby showers. People write on the inside cover their wishes for baby and mom just like a card. And these days could run the same price.
I’ve seen clear wrap or no wrap for showers also. It saves that time for opening to be with guests if it’s a large party and satisfies the “wonder what she got” at the same time.
I think this is a weird request. Other than charitable donations in lieu of gifts, I also don’t like too many “rules”.
If the mom to be doesn’t want to open gifts at the shower, just don’t. Open them later and promptly send the thank you notes.
If you don’t want to open gifts at a shower, call the party something else - a tea, a reception, a BBQ. I think some use the shower in one town to celebrate if the couple is getting married in another place and those for one town won’t be going to the wedding. That’s fine, but then just have a reception. I understand not wanting the entire party to be opening gifts, but then don’t set it up as a ‘Shower of Gifts’
After having just suffered through a bridal shower on Saturday, I’m all for not wrapping gifts and eliminating the silly games. I finally realized I was old enough to not participate in guessing how many kisses were in the jar, the names of unlabeled slices, or how many items from a pantry I could remember after they removed them from the room.
Ten years ago I was invited to a bridal shower, but received a paper cut out of a bride with the invitation. Instructions were to decorate the bride, and then there would be a contest at the event for the most creatively done craft. No thank you. I ended up being “busy” that day. Now I would have just attended without doing the silly craft.
At the shower on Saturday, guests were bored during the opening of the gifts and ended up talking among themselves. Just recognize a shower for what it is, a gift grab. Don’t make me sit in a cold, unheated church fellowship room while you “grab the gifts”.
All I could think of was, thank goodness I don’t have to have a shower for my daughter, who is getting married in Europe. In fact when I told her about this shower (which was for her cousin), she commented on how it was a gift grab and she’ll never do something like that. I’m proud of her, but not surprised.
I have never heard of this; I think it is waste of cellophane.
I’ve been thinking… I wonder if some of it is the bride to be’s desire not to want to be on display or the center of attention. And that society has changed.
From one where the parents were in charge to one where the kid is in charge. When I got married, I hated being the center of attention. I really wanted to have a very small immediate family only wedding. But my mil was aghast! She wanted to invite all of her friends who had invited them to their children’s weddings.
So we had a big wedding, I don’t think that is the reason but I would not influence my children to do something they didn’t want. And I don’t think that is just because of what happened in my situation.
I think we give more power to our children. To do what they want instead of what we the parents wanted. Which is very contrary to how things were when I was younger. Also brides are older today.
I dislike showers immensely.
" I also find it in poor taste to tell your guests how to wrap their gifts. I think receivers should just be appreciative guests bring them without giving specifics as to how they’d like them to appear."
This!
I do think there is a way to make the invitation not sound like an order.
I was invited to a former sister-in-law’s baby shower and felt if I didn’t show up with a box of diapers and wipes, plus a gift, not to show up at all. The invitation wasn’t worded nicely.
For parties where the gifts aren’t to be opened but just displayed, spread the word or include a short note with the invitation.