<p>I am in the midst of planning (well, helping from 5000 mi. away) a wedding for July in Valencia, Spain. As the MOG I must have a small gift for each female over 18. I am also supposed to have one for all the children, but since of the ~200 guests, our side will only have about 20 total and no children, the bride’s family is taking care of that.</p>
<p>We contributed an amount towards the wedding.</p>
<p>As MOG I had to name my color dress so the MOB would not wear that color.</p>
<p>In June I will go and buy the wedding suit for son. </p>
<p>It is also custom (so I’m told) to get the bride a nice piece of jewelry as a wedding gift. He mom is getting her a necklace and earrings, I’m giving a matching bracelet.</p>
<p>There is no rehearsal dinner, but shortly after I arrive we will have a “dinner” at the banquet hall sampling all the possibilities from the menu, then decide from the offerings.</p>
<p>There’s more, but I have to go get ready for work. Perhaps I’ll post more this evening. I find all this very interesting.</p>
<p>In the USA throw away the etiquette books. There are cultural norms and local/regional norms- and then there are plenty who choose to break those rules. Finances dictate a lot. It was a lot easier for me to exclude my father (mother long deceased) since I was in my early 30’s and out of town, had the money. Nephew and his girlfriend plan to wait a couple of years so she can have the traditional dowry money saved that her family culture expects- a great idea since it gives them a better financial start and more time to get to know each other. They are several years away from their common HS but still in their 20’s. I’m waiting to see how their wedding is done. Nephew had a bad first marriage (you shouldn’t get married when you are stationed overseas and can’t see each other…) that lasted a year. The rigid Catholic culture/rules of my childhood was lost on me, and on another nephew so no family problem with other ways. I remember not knowing anything about H’s home culture- he was rejecting it- and could have incorporated much more of it (but my relatives loved the roast beef on the buffet…).</p>
<p>I’ve always heard that the American tradition is for the MOB to wear whatever color she wants, and for the MOG to “wear beige and keep her mouth shut.” :p</p>
<p>Gloworm…I think the jewelry tradition is very European. I went to such a wedding and at the reception, several of relatives (from both sides) went up and presented the couple with fine jewelry.</p>
<p>After the railroading DH and I experienced by parental units, we will contribute what we can to our boys weddings, shut the heck up, and agree to what makes them happy!!</p>
<p>For my wedding, nobody is expected to contribute financially at all, we are planning to pay ourselves-- and while it depends very much on your particular circle, that is becoming the trend. I anticipate that my parents will offer to make some kind of a self-interested contribution-- like offering to pay for liquor because I told them I wanted a dry reception, or offering to pay for the 100 or so people they want to add to my guest list when we only wanted 30 people tops. Those sorts of contributions are all that have been placed on the table and aren’t anything we’re interested in. My parents paid for almost all of their own wedding as well. </p>
<p>Otherwise, we don’t really have any hard and fast traditions-- we’ve only had three weddings in the last 20 years and most of the family didn’t go to any of them, two were destination weddings that were pretty much private and the other person was estranged. I am hoping to make ours a semi-formal, immediate family only kind of deal-- not too much fuss-- my dream wedding is a dinner party at grandma’s house. We don’t have any out of towners in our entire extended families so it shouldn’t be TOO terribly much trouble to keep it low key. My mother is determined to make it a 150+ guest dinner and dancing kind of affair, so apparently that is what the family did 30 years ago the last time they had a batch of couples getting married, but we’re not going to go there-- out of our price range and doesn’t sound like any fun to me.</p>
<p>Thanks, northeastmom, it’s exciting, but stressful all at once. The happy couple live/work in Madrid, but have purchased a place in Valencia, so they are doing a lot of traveling between the two (4.5hrs.) getting the place ready and taking care of what they can. They will begin new jobs in Valencia upon returning from the honeymoon.</p>
<p>I learned from son today that I also go down the aisle with him.</p>
<p>This is a three-day event, Friday-Sunday.</p>
<p>It was also suggested to me that my MOG dress be long and have a jacket.</p>
<p>Emaheevul07 - Stick to what you want. Otherwise, you absolutely will look back twenty years from now and feel it was someone else’s wedding where you happened to exchange vows. I do know a girlfriend who avoided this by letting her parents host a party in their honor when they returned from their honeymoon. Her mother invited who she wanted and did all the fluffing she wanted. All the new couple had to do was show up, smile and nod.</p>