<p>Gentle nudging vs tough love. Which of the two approaches is used by personal trainers, and why do you think their clients (the ones who do not drop out after a few sessions)achieve results? ;)</p>
<p>I do not grunt when I do weight bearing exercises. If you are unable to do 8-10 reps of an exercise without puking, the weights are TOO BIG. Switch to lighter weights, the ones that will let you do 10 reps (and the 11th would be a stretch), and keep gaining strength until the 10 reps become too easy. Then switch to bigger weights. I wish I could find the paper on weight bearing exercise for women that my OB/GYN doc gave me and post a link to it. Unfortunately, Harvard Medical School does not have it on their website (not in the “free” section, anyway).</p>
<p>I posted this on January 1 of this year after starting the hard core thread a year prior. I wasn’t a regular participant on the thread, but I definitely was reading and following along. </p>
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<p>I have continued to lose weight following this method and have now lost close to 75 pounds. I was obese, no question, and in denial about my weight and my health. 12 of those pounds were lost when I fell into a deep depression over the unexpected death of my dog, who’d been a faithful exercise partner, 3 to 4 times a day. Haven’t gained it back though! I’ve had slips for sure but the reality is nothing will change unless you change it.</p>
<p>MOWC- I want to exercise more for my health, not so much to lose weight. I am not over weight, just added a few pounds after a hysterectomy and breast cancer. I don’t need to be the 105lbs. I was before children, but the 115 I was before the hysterectomy would be nice. My interest in working out if more for my heart and to tone the flabby thighs the women in my family are cursed with. </p>
<p>I do walk the dogs and go up and down my stairs more times than I would like. I know that is not enough exercise for someone my age, so I am trying to get back to the gym. Not looking to wait until something bad happens to me or a friend; I figured the others here would give me the encouragement I needed to go back. Thanks to those that have made suggestions.</p>
<p>Really? Successful personal trainers use tough love? When I was working, and rich, I had one. I’d say he pushed me, firmly, didn’t let me grumble too much, laughed at me when I wimped out and told me to try again, never yelled at me like a drill sargent, encouraged me when I did well. </p>
<p>Seriously, when I am exhorted with too much force it backfires. I used to HATE sales meetings, as a result, even though I was always in the top 3. One has to know oneself, see the obstacles one throws up, see through one’s own defenses, but also treat oneself gently. In my trying to be humble opinion.</p>
<p>MOWC,
I don’t want to get into a debate here but I think you misunderstood my point. Dr. Phil was saying the same thing you were saying. If you are not really working at the weight loss then it really can’t be that important to you thus you must be okay with the way that you are.</p>
<p>Having said that. I think there is room for all of us to give the tips that we feel are helpful as long as we respect that some of us need a different approach. If a tip or suggestion doesn’t work for you, just ignore it and move on to the next. There should be something here for all of us. As long as (original objective) we are keeping our tips short and simple.</p>
<p>Oh! Jym!
I would ignore that post with the download. That poster only had two posts in their history. I’m guessing spam.</p>
<p>Alumother, “tough love” does not equate with yelling, at least not in my books. What you described is “tough love” (“I know you can do it, go for it!” vs “oh, poor thing, you are too tired for that last set of pushups - okay, you can do it tomorrow”).</p>
<p>Obviously, different approaches will work for different people. That’s what’s helpful about hearing los of people’s opinions here–some I agree with and take to heart, others I don’t but someone else might.</p>
<p>One thing that has helped me during those weeks when the scale is not moving is to think, I would eat this way even if I knew I would not lose any more weight. I have become convinced that for me, carbs are not good for my body. Some people can handle them but I cannot. At this point in my life, weight loss is nice but health is the most important motivation.</p>
<p>Or, eat a little less, move a little more, whine a reasonable amount. As Interesteddad says, set small goals, get there, set another goal.</p>
<p>One thing you learn in management is that different people work well under different systems of motivation. As long as the results are achieved, since we aren’t all in one corporation and don’t need to share a corporate culture, doesn’t matter how we get there.</p>
<p>The one thing to watch out for is mutual support for continued failure. That way lies madness.</p>
<p>And, by the way, if some people just want support for their decision to keep their current health profile, they’re adults. It’s their choice. But then it’s not really Weight Loss For Dummies, as intended.</p>
<p>I feel quite protective of this thread. I am not quite sure why.</p>
<p>I don’t want it to turn into a debate. I do plenty of that on other threads. Just support. We are “Dummies” for the most part and it’s going to take a while to get going and find what works for each of us.</p>
<p>EPTR_
Thanks,- I did NOT download anything from that new poster’s link. And it didn’t take long to see he’d posted that thing all over cc… and now the posts are all gone :)</p>
<p>I am proud to say that I walked right by the jars of nutella that were on sale. That stuff is so good, but so fattening. I got a diet coke instead :)</p>
<p>Yes, I do think it’s too “hard core”, apparently so do a lot of other people. Why in the world that bothers you so much I have no idea. </p>
<p>But you might want to at least consider that what works for one person might not work for another. Some people do best cold turkey, others need a step down approach. Some people need the "just do it!', some people need to look at why they are not just doing it. </p>
<p>Good grief, if I wanted an in-shape runner to lecture me, I have plenty of them in my real life.</p>
<p>I also want to add that as someone with lifelong unhealthy eating behaviors (especially when I was thin), this thread is a lot more helpful to me if we are free to NOT focus on loosing weight. Scales are like crack to me (obsessive weight checks, here we come!) and it would be nuts to put one back in my house. I want to move more and be comfortable. I never thought I"d say this but I’m getting a bit bored of swimming/aqua fitness and, yes, I hope my body will change shape but if that all happens and the scale doesn’t move one pound down, I’m fine with that. </p>
<p>Isn’t this thread really about getting healthy? Or is it truly just about the number doing down on the scale?</p>
<p>I’m not weighing in because I don’t want to/am not interested in getting tied into numbers, but am getting my satisfaction by my shorts/pants being looser or loose enough when I put them on in the morning.</p>
<p>The good news (I"m a a glass half full kind of person)??? Once you get in a better routine of habits, while eating/exercise WILL still be some work, it will also be PLEASURABLE (for most I think) because you have the satisfaction of feeling better, looking better, feeling in better control , etc.</p>
<p>It’s just simply a better, healthier way of life. That’s all I ask for.</p>
<p>In all fairness, pugmadkate, the thread is titled “weight loss…” and the first line of the OP says
Certainly it should be open to address general healthy eating habits, support for that, as well as weight loss or weight management. Personally, I want to see the number on the scale drop, but I can’t do the intense exercise being talked about onthe other thread. This feels more comfortable. And I want tips/pointer for healthy eating.</p>
<p>It’s a big objective number that’s easy to measure and chart on a graph. Modern quality control is about gather statistics and looking at variances and that’s resulted in a lot more of precision products in our lives compared to 30 years ago. One of the reasons why I love LiveStrong is that it allows us to apply Information Technology to losing weight or getting healthier.</p>
<p>I could track pants sizes but I wear pants that are four sizes too big from time to time.</p>
<p>I still have a lot of weight to lose so it’s my major metric at this time. I suspect that I will look at different measures when I get near target.</p>
<p>I can relate to the “I must lose these pounds RIGHT NOW” feeling but as middle-aged people I do not think that this attitude is a recipe for anything but frustration. I would like to lose another 5 pounds myself but I have to accept that it might not happen. Genes, twenty-plus years of high carb eating, and whatever other factors have led me to this point are not going to change. Nothing I can do about those things. All I can do is eat as healthy as possible, and exercise. Those are the factors I can control. Whether, and how quickly, they result in weight loss is out of my control.</p>
What you described is “tough love” (“I know you can do it, go for it!” vs “oh, poor thing, you are too tired for that last set of pushups - okay, you can do it tomorrow”).</p>