What about the average kid?

Parents Forum
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<p>sis19-Thanks for asking!
D is a hs senior now. After visiting 8 schools we visitied U Montana and she fell in love. I have to admit it was my favorite as well in terms of being the best match for her. There were no negatives, again in terms of her interests, strenghts, and who she is. They have rolling admissions, so she applied in November and was accepted in early December. UM has 11,500 undergrads and an honors college with 500 students, so she has submitted an app to the hc. She knows she can still apply to any other college that appeals to her, but she just announced last week that she doesn’t plan to. After telling me this, she broke out into a wide smile of relief and said “Order the sweatshirt” (our agreed upon code for “I’ve made my decision”. </p>

<p>I have learned a lot during the college search. I started out with the intention of getting her accepted to the most selective school, but wound up realizing she’d be a lot happier spending her college years at a place that appeals to her heart where she can pursue her dreams and interests both in and out of the classroom. That’s who SHE is and that’s what’s important! It’s all about the match.</p>

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<p>congratulations baseballmom I love your attitude and I’m sure your d will be the beneficiary. Best wishes to your d for a wonderful 4 yrs. at U Montana</p>

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<p>Baseballmom
Just a quick shoutout…
D’s boyfriend’s stepbrother (complicated I know!) chose U Montana and is a current freshman.He wanted a very outdoorsey school and is very happy with his choice.He’s in one of those wilderness/outdoors/recreation type majors.He took much ribbing/questioning from people saying…why there,you could do better,etc.but is really really pleased .
Good luck to your D next year,hope you have ordered the sweatshirt!</p>

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<p>One the top students in last year’s senior class at my d’s high school chose Montana. He could have gone anywhere, but the combination of the academic program (environmental science), the school’s size, the location and the “feel” of the place attracted him. I wouldn’t think of it as second best at all–a lot of really talented kids go there because it has a lot to offer.</p>

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<p>Oh thats wonderful to hear baseballmom :slight_smile: I hope your daughter enjoys her time there.
My cousin and his wife won the greencard lotto (talk about lucky) and are spending their first 3 months in the US working at Big Sky, Montana. They love it and think Montana is one of the most beautiful places in the world!</p>

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<p>We keep running into people who know someone’s nephew, second-cousin, neighbors brother, etc. either went to UM or is currently there. The story is always the same: the kid felt like they had to explain WHY they chose Montana when they could have gotten into a “harder” school. This was the ONLY reason my D hesitated to announce UM as her first and final choice. She knew she could have gotten into a more selective school, but she’d already visited a bunch of those and they didn’t appeal to her in comparison!</p>

<p>Her so-called friends haven’t been much help either. They say it’s too far away, “don’t leave us!” and the evil-ex(I hope and pray) boyfriend’s last words on her Christmas card were “Montana S*cks”. (Evil boyfriend/girlfriend could be another thread entirely, but I think it would fill up fast!) </p>

<p>I’m so proud of her that she’s making up her own mind, losing her deadwood high school companions, and not giving in to anyone else’s ideas of what she should do with her life. Why start out your life trying to fulfill someone else’s desires?</p>

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<p>Congrats baseballmom!
We visited UM for non-college reasons and I wanted youngest D (who sounds a lot like yours) to become a Lady Griz. But she said it’s too far from home. And here’s to them shedding the deadwood h.s. companions–she is so ready to do that.</p>

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<p>baseballmom - I have not read all 7 pages of the thread, so I might be repeating a bit, but here’s some more liberal arts colleges to consider and one in New Jersey. First, New Jersey; check out Drew University - a small high -quality liberal arts college in suburban Madison, N.J. - a hop, skip, and jump from Manhattan. Also, lots of merit dollars.</p>

<p>In Pennsylvania, definitely put Juniata College on your list of possibles. In a recent New York Times article on high quality colleges/universities that “discount” their tuitions through merit dollars, Juniata was up there for an average 50 percent discount for students attending. (My niece is in her freshman year there). Other Pennsylvania liberal arts colleges not already mentioned include Susquehana University (north of Harrisburg); Ursinus College in suburban Philadelphia (from Colleges That Change Lives); Washington & Jefferson College outside Pittsburgh; and York College (more pre-professional with 4,000 students or so and low tuition for a private school.</p>

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<p>I took my d to Eckerd this past spring. We were sure the school was for her, however, I must tell you that as a mother of a d I had some grave concerns. The dorms were really dirty, the washer and dryers were in a small separate building outside of the dorms. In my opinion, there were not enough of them, and I could just see my d outside in an evening, with no security and…it just did not give me a good feeling. The campus was very unkept. Further, my d had scheduled an interview, which was confirmed before getting on the plane (we live in the north east), and when we got there the secretary at admissions said that they were too busy that day to give her the scheduled interview. I explained that this trip was taken because she was scheduled for an interview, and her response was “many students come from far distances.” She ultimately did get an interview, however, as much as the school has received higher grades in the past few years and has been mentioned in Ms. Polk’s book, I was really turned off by how dirty and unkept the campus and dorms were. Oh - I was told that there was “one” person who was responsible for cleaning the bathrooms and showers for all of the dorms. - Just did not have a good feeling.</p>

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<p>Too bad about Eckerd. That was one of my “book” favorites, though we never visited. No mountains for D!</p>

<p>D is now at UM and everything about Missoula and UM is as she hoped. We were afraid she’d find classes too easy after her rigorous hs program, but that’s only the case with one class. It’s math and as she said, “It’s the last math class of my life!”, so no biggy.</p>

<p>She “loves” all of her other classes, loves Missoula, is impressed by her professors, and has made many friends.</p>

<p>One benefit of her choosing a public U is that all of her AP credits were accepted, so she was placed in higher level english class and is doing substantial writing. She has some seniors in her english class, in fact.</p>

<p>So far, so good!</p>

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<p>A visit is worth a thousand words. cece1955, your experiences there do not sound good. I’m sorry things went so badly and am sure I would have felt the same as you, but I probably would have been fuming. Better to have checked it out than not, though I’m sure it was an expensive realization. :(</p>

<p>baseballmom, it’s wonderful that your daughter is so happy at the University of Montana in Missoula! What more can a parent ask for than having their child feel good about their college choice - good for your daughter - and for you, too! :)</p>

<p>It’s funny but every once in a blue moon I get an email telling me someone’s responded to this thread. It’s good to know it still has life. :D</p>

<p>Still not sure what “average” is, though. ;)</p>

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<p>I guess I didn’t give the dorms a white glove test – instead I deeply interviewed the faculty, the dean of students and sat in some classes. I hung out with students who were having a picnic outside their dorms and told me how much of an impact the school had. </p>

<p>My daughter is out on the campus at night all the time. If she doesn’t feel safe, she calls one of the security guys she knows by name.</p>

<p>As far as disorganization – we got blown off at Emory and at Pomona. They got confused.</p>

<p>Yeah, it’s florida. There is mold, and if the kids don’t clean the dorms, they are dirty. The laundry rooms are a little funky, but my kid got an amazing exposrue to Emerson last semester that matched my honors courses at an ivy league school.</p>

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<p>Willamette U.
George Fox
University of Portland
Linfield
Lewis & Clark</p>

<p>All are near good transportation hubs, near river (Big river) mountains, snow, deserts, and ocean.</p>

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<p>Hobart and William Smith in upstate New York has a crew team, and the school is working hard to upgrade it’s profile.</p>

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<p>freeps, did you mean Eckerd where you wrote Emerson?</p>

<p>Here’s another expression that comes to mind - “it’s all in your point of view”. The thing that is not good about taking one post as the gospel is that it’s one person’s opinion…a snapshot of their experience. </p>

<p>My daughter’s private school might be considered too “unfancy” by many - though it does have a lovely new arts center, that is the only lovely new thing…but the teachers she’s had and flavor of the school have been well beyond anything money could buy, so there you go - I’m sure it’s the same with colleges.</p>

<p>We visited St. John’s College in Annapolis, we did not meet any admissions staff - maybe we missed them by a nano second, I don’t know, our tour guide was not great BUT we managed to glean from him why St. John’s College had been goo for him AND we did meet two very, very helpful students while there, both of whom were working in the library but were glad to talk to us - one a junior, the other a grad…and then later we met another while having lunch in town…she was a waitress and when she heard why we’d been in town, she pulled over a chair and talked to us for a half an hour. It was summer, we saw very few students, but we did see their tiny college bookstore which was filled to the brim with original texts - not text books - a bibliophile’s delight. My daughter and I both felt we’d died and gone to heaven. :wink: while I’m sure others wouldn’t even want to visit because it’s not their kind of college… Saw the library, the main building where the tutorials are held - saw one new dorm, the arts building was locked, but it didn’t matter. Is St. John’s for the “average student” - dunno, but it is top on my daughter’s list.</p>

<p>Keep those different points of view coming!</p>

<p>2incollege, I’ve heard good things about Hobart and William Smith, too. :)</p>

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<p>First of all, your daughter is not average. Going to a private boarding school with rigorous academic standards, and taking those AP courses puts her waaay out of the realm of average. Second of all, like Iderochi, I have a male clone of her. Reverse the math and verbal numbers and lower the grades to a 3.0 unweighted, and we are in the same boat. He, too, goes to a private boarding school in the northeast (did you go to a college info night there last night? Might be the same school, ha, ha). </p>

<p>A subject of great interest during this info night was that this school, as most of this type, keeps a large loose leaf binder with a page for each college that received an app from a student there. There are 5 years of data there. It lists the test scores, gpa, sex of the student, any special flags (URM, athlete, legacy, etc), gives an idea of EC range. The students are not named. Looking through there will give you an excellent idea where kids from your D’s particular school with your D’s profile have applied and the outcome of the application.
Keep in mind that your D’s PSAT results are from sophomore year. By May, especially if she is taking a prep course (a tutor for the math could really make a difference since you can really study for the math part), she should be a good 100 points above that. Of course, you have to go with what you have and not anticipate. The counselors at S’s school feel that those who want to start targeting earlier should take the SAT in March, and retake in May or June if the #s are not where everyone thinks they should be. Since I am in no big hurry to put together a list, much less honing in on it and dividing it into reaches, matches, safety, S will not take the SAT until May. Though the PSAT in Oct will give you some indication about where the students will be on the SAT, now with the extra long SAT1, the correspondence is getting weaker. Some kids are distance runners, others sprinters, and that extra time and section on the writing is making the danged test more of a triathon.<br>
However, I think you are very wise in that it seems that you are more concerned about her comfort zone in academic perfomance and motivation. Even if she maxes the SAT, that comfort zone is more important in picking the academic atmosphere and rigor for her in terms of college. Though, I really think a 3.4 in that type of school, given her PSAT stats, is very good. The average grade in these type of schools is about a 3.1 or a 3.2. 3.4 would put her at the bottom of the first quintile or top of the second in schools that are peer to S’s school. My son is about at the bottom of the second quintile with his solid 3.0.<br>
Also, unless she is a cracker jack rower and is very serious about the sport, Division 3 schools are probably a better bet than a D-1 school. Of course the level of intensity can vary within the divisions, and a top D-3 program could be more intense than a low grade D-1 program, but my feellings are that kids who go to these academic, boarding schools are more comfortable in the LACs, and many LACs are very familiar with these schools because they feed them a goodly number of students. THe counselors, too, are familiar with the LACs and can probably give you some help in matching one to your daughter. That is the strongpoint of these boarding/prep schools.<br>
Keep us posted with info. I, for one, am interested cuz I’m going to be doing pretty much the same thing with my son.</p>

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<p>EEK! Hope you’re not refering to my post. Mine is not in a boarding school nor is it an elite private. My daughter is a senior, will be taking her SATs for the second time on 10/14… No sports here unless you want to count yoga. ;)</p>

<p>However, comfort level in “ambience” and academics with small classes with an emphasis on class discussions are prime.</p>

<p>As for advice on which colleges might be best - we found our own devices (mostly lots of reading with some visits) were much more helpful, this is not to say that many schools do not have very helpful college counselors. Daughter’s school does have Naviance which is interesting as far as it goes regarding “stats”… Now that applications are being finished up, am finding the school is quite good with teachers being more than willing to write recommendations and that the college counselors will be very helpful with getting everything sent.</p>

<p>As luck would have it we have a friend who has been quite helpful due to her former position as head of Guidance at our local public high school and who has a good handle on the LACs and some state universities because the whole thing can be overwhelming.</p>

<p>Some may be shocked but daughter will probably only apply to about 4 colleges. </p>

<p>Each person’s path is so different is a truism. :)</p>

<p>Best wishes to all and remember - one can always transfer. ;)</p>

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<p>baseballmom, Ever since this thread has been revived I have reread your second paragraph of post #121 at least 10 times! I want to print it out on cards and leave it at our GC office at the hs! I have already been tempted to quote it at least 3 times in replies to threads on cc, and in fact I will right now, both here and in another thread. </p>

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<p>Blumini-
I think the last post was directed to me as the OP. I am SO happy to say that my D is now a freshman at college.</p>

<p>I am quite ready to hand over the reins of this thread to blumini et al.</p>

<p>Funny, I read through the thread last night and saw that I had written that my D was interested in attending a small LAC on the east coast. Well, she wound up at the University of Montana with 11,500 other undergrads, just where she belonged, not where I THOUGHT she belonged! I just had to laugh. </p>

<p>H and I were so obsessed with the college search last year. Meanwhile D was writing stories and drawing and choosing songs to download. I wish I could have down-shifted a little earlier than I did. I would have gotten more sleep last year!</p>

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<p>NJRes-
I have to confess that when I read that post, and was really almost like a confession, it makes me tear up. When I think of the pressure we put on our dear girl, it pains me. She was in there somewhere just waiting to come out, but at her own pace.</p>

<p>All of the fights and aggravations of last year just melt away when we hear her chattering away on the other end of the phone, especially when SHE calls us because she wants to share some little tidbit about her day.</p>