I don’t have a sister, but I got two pieces of advice that hurt at the time, but that needed to be said.
When my oldest was about 15, my mother told me I was babying my kids too much and that if I didn’t knock it off they would grow up to be insecure and emotionally dependent. How dare she! Except she was right.
My 20 year old daughter told me I was wearing too much eyeliner for my age. Rude awakening, but glad to hear it from someone who had my best interest at heart.
My oldest sibling told me that I was not responsible for my other siblings having a good time or getting along. It was great advice.
She also told me I can’t control the weather. Along with the above advice when my family came to visit and it was foggy or the pool was cold because the sun wasn’t out it wasn’t my responsibility. All silly but things I needed to hear.
My dear friend who is a breast cancer survivor gave me advice about things to buy for a dear friend who was just similarly diagnosed. It helped me think of things I hadn’t considered and I bought many of them today at Costco–mostly in store but wool socks online.
@HImom: I’m eager to hear what those other items were.
My sister told me I wore too much black, which made me look like a depressed funeral attendee. She was right!
A close friend told me I was buying my clothes in the wrong size. She said I would look slimmer if I went down a size or two. She was right. I still like my tops loose but I now will try on an item in the size down to compare. She also pointed out that most of my t shirts were white or grey. I’ve now expanded and have a lot of shirts in navy.
Lol – going a little crazy with that navy blue! As someone who has mostly black and grey in my wardrobe, I can relate.
@VeryHappy,
Well she specifically mentioned hats and socks. I also bought nightgowns, blouses, head coverings, wraps, soft wool socks from Costco, and down jackets (she’s moving to Utah to be with family for her treatment). Another friend is buying a lot of lotions. I will keep looking for things that I think will work. I am bringing lunch for her and her office on Wednesday and D maybe flying in to surprise her.
Oh yea, I also asked if she had preferences about fabrics but she said she wasn’t particular.
Is as thinking about this thread as I was coloring my hair earlier.
I remember a very good friend once asking me why I colored my hair purple (or something like that).
I used to color my hair some shade of auburn, but I guess it did have a purple hue. I changed it quickly after the comment, which was actually appreciated.
One thing I learned about unsolicited advice…especially from older relatives is to do my best to ignore them because if I had followed most of their advice, I’d be much worse off. Part of this was observing how my parents and some older cousins* suffered from following what turned out to be exceedingly bad advice.
** That’s not to say that one should never have an occasional or few relaxing weekends during one’s grad school period. Just that if one’s in a situation where one must choose one of the two…the PhD program’s academic/research work requirements MUST ALWAYS BE PRIORITIZED ABOVE ALL ELSE.
Heh.
That reminded me of the time in undergrad when an aunt who worked as a head nurse at a regional NE hospital kept badgering me to consider doing pre-med, applying to medical school, and becoming a doctor.
Only got her to stop when I said I’d agree…on the condition she defrayed ALL my undergrad and med school expenses along with fully paying off all the malpractice suits which will inevitably come up. That shut her up pretty quick. 
And it was a decision which was only further confirmed when I got to see the lifestyles of my medical resident/fellow roommates after college.
I was asked to be interviewed on a news segment once, got to the studio and was waiting with another guy who was there to do a segment on how to make a good first impression.
As we were talking, he told me he did a fair number of interviews, always checked himself out in a full length mirror before going on air and that it was good practice to do so. I told him I had just come from the restroom, looked in the mirror there and was fine, but he brought it up again and kept pushing the issue telling me where a full length mirror was. I remember thinking that for a guy there to talk about how to make a good first impression, he certainly wasn’t making one on me. Pushy know-it-all.
I finally relented just to make him happy and found the full length mirror. Tie was straight, collar wasn’t turned up, nothing in my teeth, and nothing on my clothes. Everything looked fine.
Then I realized my zipper was down. :-S Not exactly the kind of first impression I wanted to make during my segment. Ha! That explained why he kept stressing the importance of a full length mirror.
By the time I got back he had been called to do his segment, so I never did get to thank him for the great advice.
I consider my mom my best friend. No one else could give me the best advice and support. She’s been very postive in terms of life’s challenges and that’s the best thing I’ve learned from her. She would always tell me not to give up about problems. She made me feel better all the time.
I have an in law who told me I’d ruin my S’s promise (S was very gifted academically) if I didn’t allow him to go to private school from K onward. He even offered to pay (but we didn’t believe him and he never gave us any checks). Fast forward to when he had kids, they went to public school and later transferred to private school when they were older. Our kids transferred from public to private HS and were just fine with their experiences in public school.
Financially, it would have been crushing for us to pay for our kids to go to private school from K–we really didn’t have funds to spare for tuition with our huge mortgage and only H working. We are glad we ignored the well-meant advice.
@1Dreamer I like your story and its good advice but why didn’t the guy just tell you your zipper was down, too? 
@doschicos I wondered the same. It would have been easier, but what kind of first impression would that have made? 
“Nice to meet you. Your zipper’s down.”
That’s the thing about telling a man his zipper is down - it means you are looking there.
Totally forgot this one- my fashion industry sister was visiting last week and we were in my closet and she asked me if I knew that all my boots were brown. Last night I really looked at my shoe rack and it did hit me that I didn’t own a single pair of black boots or booties. I have a number of booties since future DIL has worked for several shoe companies and I wear the sample size. I do own black pumps, sandals and other heels.
I’m female, but most of my friends and co-workers are men. After DS1 was born I was very weight conscious, one of my co-workers (an older Vietnamese guy asked me: “why you dress like something died?”). Cracked me up and I brightened up my wardrobe!
I have no sisters from my birth family, and only one SIL, but wow did I hit the jackpot there. We’ve now known each other since we were in our early 20s, and through the years have often been mistaken by strangers for sisters. Most recently, she turned me on to CeraVe face products, one of many product helps over the years. But the most important thing she’s given me is her kind heart, her clear vision, and the love of a sister which I didn’t have until I was an adult.