No, no, and no. The essay is to tell a college something about yourself that is not on the rest of the application. However, it has to be something that will make them want you. You are not looking for sympathy or empathy, you are looking for interest. AOs get so many sob stories from applicants who think that admissions is a competition between applicants to see who has the most heart-wrenching story that the only tear that these essays bring are from boredom.
The essay should be about “why me”. Show passion, intelligence, focus, humor, etc, what you will add to the school, and why you will be a success at the school. A story of a personal tragedy does none of those.
if you do talk about a personal tragedy, it should be in the context of how you show strength and resilience. However, this is a lot harder than people think. Most end up describing the tragedy (not helping, and violating the “show, don’t tell” rule), and then add at the end, “this taught me a lot and now I am a stronger person”.
Your tragedy is important and central to your life. For the AO, it is one more story of thousands or tens of thousands.
@JohnGad You look like a pretty strong applicant, and congratulations of doing so much in high school and doing it well.
I would expect that Duke and ND are high reaches, especially Duke for Engineering, though your chances are higher than average
Davidson is a solid reach, but you have pretty good chances
BC, Rochester, Villanova, and Holy Cross are low reaches or high matches, but I would be really surprised if you didn’t get at least one admission there, more likely two or more (but getting none is also a possibility, so you need a safety).
UMass Amherst for engineering is like the BC, Rochester, etc., group - low reach, but good chances. For physics (so CNS), it would likely be a safety for you.
All this is assuming that the colleges stay test optional or that you get SAT/ACT scores as you predicted.
Also - if you need financial support, Villanova and Holy Cross may be reaches, since you are dependent on also winning competitive scholarships. Davidson has the best financial aid, since it is full need met, While Duke, BC, ND, and Rochester are full need met, but with loans.
UMass Amherst will depend on what scholarships and financial aid you are eligible for, since you cannot likely afford full pay, even as an in-state student (if you are in-state).