It is not what one says, but how one says it that can make the difference between coming across as helpful vs. hurtful and belligerent. Internet social skills often take a bit more effort because the obvious social clues aren’t there when we can’t see how others react to the words we type on the screen. While I try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are well-intentioned, I admit that I sometimes wonder if a few people who consistently come across as more caustic aren’t just a little miserable in their personal lives and use the anonymity of the Internet to lash out. They may not even be aware of it, so I try to give them some leeway there, too. We don’t know what they are dealing with behind the scenes.
IMO, the best practice is to pretend the person you are responding to is sitting across from you before hitting the button to post.
I don’t know the post he is referring to, however, assuming a top 40 school is a safety can seem pretty pretentious. I am sure that we all have had our moments when someone we assume to be acting pretentiously gets a dose of humility and we are not unhappy about it. Most of the students who have this happen end up just fine. They usually have several schools they haven’t heard from. It is really tragic when a good student due ignorance and being told they will either get in anywhere or that schools will be paying them to go to their school end up with nowhere to attend. Getting back to the subject of the thread, I really don’t like pretentious OPs.
I find it irritating when a poster asks questions and when we provide helpful responses, from the responses he gives it is fairly clear that the only “research” the poster did is to justify why he NEEDS to take on mega debt of $110k to get a masters only at University x and all other suggestions are obviously flawed and inferior. After that, I just step away from the thread.
If someone is bound and determined to take on massive debt, they shouldn’t later bleat when things don’t turn out as rosily as painted in their daydreams. Sheesh! I don’t have the energy from keeping folks from doing what they WANT, but I will not be sympathetic either.
Yes, sadly and then default and expect everyone to absorb their loan.
When my S was getting his BEE in 2010, I overheard one of the Masters grads bemoaning the fact he couldn’t get a job with his bachelor’s degree so he stayed an extra year to get his masters in engineering–still no job but more in debt.
S insisted he wanted to get his BEE and work (even tho we told him we’d be happy to have him stay another year and get masters). He had 3 job offers his SR year and is still at the place he chose, with raises and promotions, is above the salary quoted by the guy wanting to get mega-bucks masters with a “mere” BEE.
The smug comments by high school seniors and sense of entitlement on the college threads.
OP: I hope I get accepted to out of state expensive public. (with a 36 ACT)
Response by another high school senior: It’s so expensive. How can you afford it? How is anyone able to afford it?
OP: My parents make over $400,000/yr
Another poster(parent) : You need to be humble and sensitive to others on this thread because college costs are a stressful topic for many families.
Another posters response( high school senior) “Poor people are always salty.”
“I don’t know, so I know it’s all crap.” “I don’t want to have to try to figure it out, so it’s unfair.” Sometimes, it seems like the old, “I’m paranoid, so I’m right.”
“I’m an international and I’ve been accepted by prestigious school x, y, and z!
How DARE they not give me a full scholarship! Don’t they know who I am? I’m like the highest stat kid in Country X which is so much harder than your country!! The truth is I never wanted to go there anyway and only applied to get it all for my ego boost. Who cares if you were rejected yet live only 10 minutes away and will have to drive by that place all the time. You’re still not as good as me.”
Not annoyed, but rather a little amused at the sweet naivete… “I just know we’re all going to get in. Hang in there you guys” posted to strangers in a decisions thread. Um, no, you’re not all going to get in.
I got into amazing schools A, B and C but no money. Now what? Also, shouldn’t I go to the school with he best rep because of contacts. Surely I and my folks with bad credit can borrow however much I need.
damn @roethlisburger …didn’t think my post was annoying, I was just looking for some advice from some of the knowledgeable parents on here who might’ve dealt with a similar situation. She’s doing fine and passing her other classes, just not the calc and physics. She actually got a B in her first year engineering class. I wrote the paper because she was overwhelmed and I was concerned for her mental health. I contacted her parents and her roommate about the things she was saying to me to have the issue resolved. A little harsh, imo.
While notifying her parents is helpful and commendable @pineapple1203 , cheating to help your friend is not. What happens in the future when she is struggling in a class? Engineering is a profession that people can be hurt if someone does not have a clear understanding of the subject matter. By cheating, you also placed your college career in jeopardy , as most colleges have honor codes. In the future , if you are concerned regarding someone’s mental health, it may be better to notify the RA so that it may be handled quickly and safely. I understand that you were in an awkward position , but you may want to consider other alternatives if placed in an awkward position in the future.