<p>When S1 left for college 3 years ago, we didn’t change the room for a year. He spent summer after freshman year at home. When he went back for soph. year. We spruced it up a little…cleaned out the closet, threw away all the junk, bought a new comforter and it became the guest room. His cork board full of h.s sch. momentos still hangs in there as does his football jersey on the wall and a couple of posters. S got an apt. at school so carried lots of things from his room to his new “home”. The funny thing is that now when he comes home to visit, he doesn’t sleep in his old room. He sleeps on the futon in the office so he can use the computer and TV. </p>
<p>S2 leaves for college next month. I expect to follow pattern and leave his room untouched for the first year.</p>
<p>When D left for college 3 years ago, S moved into D’s old larger room with private bathroom upstairs that same day. Got him new bedding of his choice. We added a computer to S’s old room and for about a year we had a bedroom that no one slept in. Now D comes home every weekend and sleeps in that room. </p>
<p>Now that S is going away to school in the fall, D may be moving home again for awhile, or will at least continue being here on the weekends. She wants to sleep in her old upstairs room, because of the additional privacy.</p>
<p>Our house is very small. The kids’ rooms will always be bedrooms for whoever is visiting or living here besides H and me. The rooms are not shrines, and the kids don’t particularly want their old trophies and plaques on display. I have talked with them both about what they/I want to save, and their cherished memorabilia items are safely stored.</p>
<p>If either of my kids needs to move home for whatever reason, I will welcome them. When I was young I moved back in with my folks twice to get back on my feet, and it was an enormous help. Of course, I expect that D and S will both eventually be independent and live on their own, but I have no strict timetable for that.</p>
<p>HisGraceFillsMe, I’ll take that as a compliment! I have enjoyed many of your thoughtful posts on CC. Your parents are lucky to have a child who will ultra-clean anything. Good luck on that closet.</p>
<p>Still waiting for son to clean out his closet. I cleaned what I could when he went to the dorm, nothing done by him 2 years into college. Apt this time, he has been told what he doesn’t clean I get to make decisions on- we’ll see if anything happens by the time he leaves (again). The idea is to get rid of unused/unwanted/unneeded… stuff. I don’t want to have to go through everything for the first time when we eventually downsize. Warnings/notices have been given- either he recycles the bags of unsolicited college brochures, the HS senior paperwork, the … This summer I once again didn’t worry about seeing his floor, just made sure everything moved home either got stored or made it into his room, no leaving it where it was first put when the car was emptied. I want him to make decisions on his childhood toys and books, you can’t go through life accumulating more and more stuff without getting rid of most of it, but since it isn’t a fun task it gets neglected until I force the issue. Can you tell we aren’t packrats here? I went through his room and moved some furniture this school year, he was pleasantly surprised with the results, noticed how it should have been done years sooner (did not do so during freshman year so he wouldn’t feel pushed out of his space). As the years go by he is considering his campus home and we are changing our house to reflect a couple’s lifestyle instead of a family one- making things work best for us, not him. Eventually he will have to store the boxes of saved stuff, but he will need more space before we force that issue (or when he cleans out his deceased parents’ place as an old man…).</p>
<p>Chapter 1:
S1 leaves for college. S2 claims S1’s bedroom and now has a bedroom and a ‘lounge’</p>
<p>Chapter 2:
S2 leaves for college. I claim S1’s original old bedroom (it is the best room in the house with a deck and view of eucalyptus trees). I’m strewn all over the house using 2 bathrooms and sleeping upstairs but clothes are downstairs</p>
<p>working on Chapter 3: remodel of home. downstairs bedroom becomes family room/guest room and I’m upstairs with bedroom and lounge. Downstairs can accomodate 1) S* moving back or 2) grandchildren visiting (whichever comes first)</p>
<p>My mom started crying today when I told her I wanted to send some of my stuffed animals to Salvation Army (some of them I couldn’t bear to part with, and are now sitting on one shelf in my closet…all four of the ones I kept). Guess it was the sign to her that I’ve really grown up.</p>
<p>I got rids of lots of stuff that I should’ve got rid of years ago. It feels good. ^_^</p>
<p>We downsized after two left for school, so that left us with one room for both college girls, then the oldest surprised us by moving home between UG and grad school. It was the right thing financially and a wonderful time for her to reconnect after having been gone got so many years, she and baby sister reconnected on an adult level which has been great.</p>
<p>I would be sad for my graduate to move home if they had no plan to make a life, but for transitions, no problem, though my old big house was a lot better for a crowd and DH gets really annoyed by people who sleep all day and stay out all night and esp if the TV is on in the day time, so no lazies would want to stay here anyway ;)</p>
<p>I missed my D so much after she left. During the first month I used to go sit in her room and watch the first season of Gilmore Girls to get that mother-daughter feeling!</p>
<p>No big changes, but when she was home for Christmas she packed up the trophies and such.</p>
<p>I made S1 clear out extra clothes when he got home from college at the beginning of this summer because he had no room to unpack. He filled FOUR huge leaf bags with clothes he no longer wants (and I can’t tell the difference in terms of space in his room). I put those bags in the garage to take to a neighbor who has 7 boys, the oldest of which is the same age as S1 and good friend, but H became sentimental and hasn’t let me part with any of it yet. It’s not like there is any room in H’s closet for all those clothes, although the two do wear the same size and share clothes frequently for golf and dress up wear. H wants me to have a t-shirt quilt made of the soccer shirts; I don’t even own a sewing machine anymore, so will have to pay somebody. H also pulled out one of S1’s shirts to wear to a party over the 4th of July. I guess it makes him feel closer to S1 to wear his clothes when he’s gone.</p>
<p>We haven’t made any other changes to the bedroom (all the trophies are still on display), but have used it as a guestroom if needed. Last week-end, I had my mother and sister staying from out of town and we had agreed to host two college tennis players (play for Wofford and Winthrop) for a local mid-atlantic clay court tournament. S1’s room had to be called into service with four out of town guests, but that is pretty rare.</p>
<p>Do something to her room!!! I could hardly even walk by it without crying for the first few weeks let alone walk in and change it!!! As happy as I was for HER, it was difficult to see that room empty, especially at night…</p>
<p>All I eventually did was clean it up well - pile everything up on top of her bed and dust and use Murphy’s to my heart’s content. Then everything went back down where it was. The rare occasion that a guest was visiting during the year while she was gone, they used her room with all her things around - a male friend teased that it was daunting trying to fall asleep with posters of Clay Aiken and Apolo Ohno all around him!!!</p>
<p>D finally got around to cleaning the room really well when she returned this year after freshman year - welll, at least “really good” on her terms. It will stay her room until she also no longer feels it’s necessary.</p>
<p>I didn’t even think about this until this thread was posted…My D is a compulsive organizer; one of the things on her “to-do” list this summer is to clean out her room and she has already started…we wouldn’t even think to touch her room; it is hers for as long as she wants it…</p>
<p>She is so attached to the memories that she has documented in that small space that it would be a strong “slap-in-the-face” for us to even think about touching it…and that’s the way we like it…it is such an intergral part of her personality…</p>
<p>While he was an undergrad we left the room as is for when he ventured home. Now that he has graduated and moved to the west coast and we are now retired, we have sold his room along with the rest of the house.</p>
<p>Seriously he was a bit taken aback when we told him that we would be moving to warmer climes sometime this year because he had spent his entire life in this house. But he quickly adjusted to the idea and is happy for us.</p>
<p>My d has the largest secondary bedroom, but wants to keep it. Meanwhile my S needs more space !! So I am hoping over Xmas she agrees to swap. In the meantime, I have been relentlessly pushing her to go through her stuff. She’s a packrat and the room is overflowing. My comment - Nothing magical will happen - when you come back at Thanksgiving, you’re going to come back to the same disorganized mess !! So, slowly but surely she is getting rid of stuff - college brochures, 8th grade Algebra I notes, clothes that don’t fit…Also, a real key point this summer - stop buying stuff - you do not need any more clothes or shoes - they won’t fit in the dorm room.</p>
<p>I follow ReneeV and abasket’s line of thinking. </p>
<p>Their rooms will remain their rooms with their stuff out, until they decide they don’t want it that way. As I said, older daughter takes things to her apartment, takes things she has posted on her doors down each time she comes. </p>
<p>I clearly remember going back to my own bedroom after college and thinking, “Enough of this!” - down went the posters, out went the stuffed animals, etc. I am sure my girls will do the same, but I will let them do it when they are ready (always willing to help if they want!). That doesn’t mean that guests won’t use their rooms when they are gone, as they always have!</p>
<p>S1’s room became guest room when we came home from Germany. He is offended, although he comes home only at Christmas. We moved into this house when he was going into 9th grade, and he has never really felt like this is home anyway. But I think he minds not having “roots.” Something you feel rather than see.</p>
<p>I don’t dare touch S2’s room, or the cat would have a fit. In fact we call it “Frank’s room” as often as we call it S2’s room. He is S2’s cat, and spends most of his time there. Although he does consent to sleep with D if she is home, and S2 is not.</p>
<p>I won’t consider doing anything with D’s room while she is still in college. She may reach a point where she doesn’t come home much, but I don’t want it to be because she feels there isn’t a place for her.</p>
<p>I do have to give props to D2, when she was packing for college she suggested little sis move into her room which was bigger and, more importantly, had a much better closet. This meant little sis would even use big sis’s special furniture which fit that room, it was a very generous offer.</p>