Did she say why? I’d never heard of such a comment before.
My dress is from about 1933. It’s super cool and will never go out of style, imo, but it does look wedding-y so I haven’t worn it since I got married.
I hung it up on my wedding night in a bag, and there it still hangs. Still fits, but probably with a few more lumps in the silhouette, haha. I’m going to ask D if she wants it. Unfortunately, I dropped a tiny bit of sauce on it on my wedding night and it’s crepe de chine so I think it’s probably a goner given the age of it.
It’s not dissimilar to this:
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The Angel gowns site says it is only taking gowns from seamstresses and shops on an “as needed” basis. Other charity donations want gowns under five years old .
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She had ideas about propriety inherited from my grandmother, I think. Long trains are ostentatious and for cathedrals; country wedding brides should know their place? I had already done battle over flowers and didn’t want to die on that particular hill! To be fair, a longer train would have been disproportionate anyway.
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There were a lot of “rules” back in the day. My mother knew them all and tried desperately to impart them to me. Luckily I wasn’t so malleable.
ETA: Some of those rules involved how wedding invitations must – must!! – be phrased. Some included how wedding invitations must be addressed, including the inside envelope. And so on and so forth. Unfortunately some of her dicta have stuck with me, and I can’t shake them.
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For those who have daughters getting married…if they do NOT want to keep their dresses, consign them asap after the wedding. The trends and styles do change. We have a great wedding consignment shop not far from us, but the newer your dress is, the higher the price, and the stronger likelihood it will sell (unless it’s true vintage in excellent condition).
How about those MOB dresses? I love mine, but I will likely never wear it again!
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I know two younger brides who took a classes on how to make a christening gown out of their wedding dress…and they both did. It’s way smaller to store, and maybe their grandchild will be christened in those as well.
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The only thing I’ve ever heard about train lengths and dialing back other elements of, “showiness,” as part of propriety is that one shouldn’t have an elaborate wedding during Lent.
My train was chapel length as well.
40 + Years, hanging in the closet. Maybe D’s or grand kids would find it interesting. Don’t expect anyone to wear it.
Did it land in the dress up box for the kids?!!
I like the bridal dress show when they remake old dresses into modern ones. Think that’s super timely and a great way to use the spirit of mom, gran, aunt, or sister to come up with soemthing “new” for a modern bride. And it’s also probably cheaper.
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Mine is in its bag in the back of my closet. I have all boys and never had an illusion of anyone else wearing it, I just couldn’t part with it. One afternoon, two of my granddaughters were over and we got on the subject of an upcoming family wedding. I asked if they wanted to see my gown, and it has become part of dress up play when they are here!
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Oh don’t be so sure! My SIL wore my MILs dress. They had to get it cleaned (specialty cleaner who could do beautiful old satin), altered, and had to have a bunch of Chantilly lace replaced. My SIL said it cost as much or more than getting a new dress.
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My friend wore her mom’s cleaned but yellowed (with age) white satin wedding gown for her wedding. She didn’t care that it wasn’t pristine. She’s still happily married all these decades later. Her reception was in her folks’ backyard. The bridesmaid dresses were off the rack long muumuus from Macy’s.
I wore that bridesmaid dress for many years, anytime I wanted a long muumuu. It was amazing it looked fine on 5’6” me and the petite <5’ other bridesmaid. i think the dresses were under $50 apiece and needed no alterations.
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I had two, one from 1984 and one from 1995. The first was beautiful lace over satin and was professionally cleaned and preserved. I had never opened the box. Didn’t like the second much at all. I always thought I’d try on the first dress or maybe make a Christening gown or ringbearer pillow. My daughter is my size and they would have fit her. Sadly, none of this happened, as both dresses perished when my house burnt down a year ago.
Just things, I know, but it was difficult. I thought my older son’s Baptism outfit was with these dresses and I was overjoyed when I found it in a tote in storage.
My dress is in my closet hanging in the original bag it came in from the bridal shop. I saved it all these years even tho I figured neither daughter would wear it (both are taller and built differently). In hindsight, I wish I had had a christening gown made out of it for my kids to wear when baptized. One of my friends had hers turned into a First Communion dress (Catholic) which I thought was a great idea.
I pulled mine out last summer as my daughter was getting married and I contemplated having something made out of it for her to have on her wedding day, but couldn’t figure out anything that made sense. Unfortunately tho the dress now is yellowed/discolored.
At one point my daughter asked to possibly wear my veil. I was so excited at the prospect but I couldn’t find it! I was surprised it wasn’t in the bag with my dress. I was so upset! Then, the night before I flew out for her wedding, I was packing and looking for something in my closet when I noticed a plastic grocery store type bag, hanging in my closet. I pulled it out and there was my veil! I brought it with me. Her maid of honor figured out a way to attach it to her hair piece when she was getting dressed. It meant a lot to me that she was going to wear it. Then, while we were taking photos before the ceremony outside, I noticed that the veil color clashed with her dress - the whites were too different. I pointed it out to her and she decided to wear the one she bought. I was a little sad, but it just would not have looked right. I did bring it back home with me just in case my younger daughter might be able to use it some day!
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I have my mother’s dress (1951), my dress (1982) and my D’s dress (2017) stored away in the guest room closet. D wasn’t too interested in wearing my dress, although she did wear my veil. I have cut strips of lace off my mother’s dress and given it to the women in the family to wrap around their bridal bouquet.
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I can’t imagine getting rid of my dress anytime soon even though it will likely never be worn or used.
It’s 31 years old and I wish I had thought to have it repurposed into a baptism outfit 21+ years ago for our sons.
We have plenty of space to keep it (in its big old preserved box) so for now I’ll continue to just ignore the issue of what to do with it.
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There is a new show on a cable station called something like Something borrowed, something new where the bride has a designer cut and redesign her mother’s (grandmother, aunt) dress and shop for a new one. Have to say some of the redesigned dresses still look like something from the 1980s. Or nothing at all like the original dress.
One of the best fundraisers I ever went to at our church was a tea party put on by the ladies’ Aux to raise money for the youth group, and it was a wedding fashion show. They had the dresses and the stories of who made and wore them, from the 1920s to 2000s. Those early dresses were TINY (but so were the 12 and 13 year olds wearing them in the show). Some were winter dresses with fur, cowgirl style from the 1970s, Irish lace, etc. It was very cool.
Some ideas for those who want to donate? HS theater departments, as above for christening dresses, cut down for flower girl dresses (my friend did this for her daughter’s wedding for the little sister, who was 12 years younger than the bride), ring bearer pillows, as part of the bride’s dress but not the main dress (lace, buttons, lining). A really nice grandmother could give it to the kids to play dress up (my best friend had her mothers, and I was sooo jealous).
We still have my mother’s tea length 1954 dress. My daughter tried it on and we considered it as a Prom dress, but it was lace on the top and very scratchy, and the bottom was all net and that would have had to have been replaces (and it could have been). But alas my mother was tiny and she had two daughter with much bigger boobs so it was never an option for us, and my one kid (adopted) who it might have fit is now bigger than she was in hs and it wouldn’t fit (her prom dress doesn’t fit on the top anymore). So maybe a dress up dress for a great-granddaughter?
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I, too, wore my mom’s gown. Vintage 1953. Had a local seamstress remake the very pointy bodice to a smoother silhouette. My mom was several inches shorter, but she wore crinolines under it but I didn’t so it was long enough. Beautiful silk satin with a dropped waist.
It is in a box in the attic. At this point, it would have to be fully remade to be in style. I am not terribly attached to it, just always kept the possibility that one of my kids would want to use it in some way. Not likely but have the room at the moment.
Probably will end up tossing. One of my friend’s daughter used both mom and mom-in-law’s veils to create the chuppa for her wedding so maybe there will be some use for the gown or the veil.
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