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</p>
<p>So did mine. (None just “checked the boxes.”)
And I’m glad to see that so many others also do; that’s as it should be.</p>
<p>Thanks, Modadunn. No, I do agree that it’s the thanks that are mandatory, and that that must come from the student.</p>
<p>Handwritten thank you notes (in other words, not an email thank you) along with some token sweets.</p>
<p>A heartfelt thank you note and an offer to babysit for free some evening.</p>
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</p>
<p>A sign of true heartfelt thank you!</p>
<p>My daughter’s passion at the high school is Japanese, so she wrote her thank you in both English and Japanese, and gave little gifts with an Asian theme (under $25). She got her guidance counselor a Japanese doll, her English teacher (who edited her essay) an Asian fan, and her Japanese teacher a set of blocks (for her toddler daughter) that had, would you believe, a sushi theme!</p>
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<p>I think it is nice to give a gift however it is unessential. I have said before what we really want is a heart felt expression of how we impacted the student, specific memories that we have shared etc.</p>
<p>I once had a student in a remedial class walk in and say </p>
<p>“historymom, I can’t count on much in my life but I can always count on you having a warm room on a cold day. Thanks.”</p>
<p>I have never forgotten those words. I know this isn’t an example of a LOR but my point is that it was an authentic personal statement that let me know specifically how I had positively impacted his life.</p>
<p>re candy and other food gifts: Those express a nice sentiment but they go to our butts. Speaking only for myself and those like me, if a parent or student wants to give a gift something not full of fat and sugar may be preferable. A gift card would be better but like I said, what I treasure, keep and will take with me when I retire, are the heartfelt thank you notes.</p>
<p>I will be giving gifts to my teacher and my guidance counselor but not until the end of the year since I am still asking for LOR because of scholarship applications. I will probably do gift cards to a book store or something like that or some chocolate from the amazing chocolate store downtown. I really do appreciate the time that my GC has taken during the whole process.</p>
<p>“A LOR is part of the job, even though technically it is at the teacher’s discretion.”</p>
<p>Sorry, but it is wholly (not technically) at my discretion.</p>
<p>Having said that, I think that you are absolutely correct with your points regarding thank you notes and informing letter writers of how the admission decisions went. (I do, however, enjoy the Starbucks cards!)</p>
<p>My DD wrote personal thank you notes and I purchased pretty key chains for her female teachers (figure they always have keys to keep track of) & a Jerry Garcia Tie for her GC( even though my DD had no idea who he was when her GC asked her lol). As she attends Catholic school I will also make a donation in honor of thanks in the teacher’s names to one of the school’s memorial funds.</p>
<p>D1 did the same thing as modadunn, coffee mugs of her college filled with goodies like lollipops & chocolates. Of course, thank you note is also a must. But she thank them twice: once around Xmas and the second time when she decided on her college. I’m always a bit leary about giving teacher money, big or small. Just personal preference.</p>
<p>Yes, westerndad, I get it. I’m a teacher, too. But your point still is not the larger point.</p>
<p>Your physician also has the discretion to write you a Rx or not, and/or which Rx and which dosage. If he/she doesn’t want to prescribe, there is no obligation for him to do so. It may be an optional med., for example. HOWEVER, if he/she decides it’s appropriate to give you a Rx (but maybe not another patient with the same or similar ailment), do you give him a box of chocolates? I do not.</p>
<p>Writing LOR’s, in general, is part of my unwritten job description, which is a larger part of the ethics I signed on to when I chose this profession.</p>
<p>Great that you don’t feel that way. I and the colleagues I respect in the profession, do feel that way.</p>
<p>Answering historymom now:
My greatest recent gift was a highschooler who came bouncing into my office, thanking me profusely & enthusiastically, giving me the credit for helping her achieve an A in her class, due to my guidance on improving her essay. I gave the credit back to her, but it was a nice surprise nevertheless.</p>
<p>I acknowledged my daughters’ (plural) extraordinary high school teachers with hand-written thank you notes for the years of personalized service provided. Again, I have nothing against gifts per se, for those who choose to do that after the fact. Many parents do give gifts to, for example, all of a school’s teachers at the end of the year, which I also think is a nice gesture if heartfelt.</p>
<p>We wrote heartfelt notes to each teacher and gave each a $75 gift certificate to a local restaurant. OK - now slam me for being excessive (at least on CC) - but that’s we we wanted to do to express our gratitude for a job well done.</p>
<p>My daughter gave $25 Amazon gift cards and a hand-written note to each teacher and guidance counselor. When she was in elementary school we often bought little gifts of one sort or another for her teachers, so it really doesn’t seem out of line to give a gift to the teachers who take the time to write letters of recommendation. They all seemed very appreciative, after all, you can buy almost anything on Amazon.</p>
<p>We aren’t singling out GC and recs writers for gifts. We also give small gifts at Christmas to the letter carriers, the trash collectors, our cleaning helper, the dentist, the doctor and the CPA after tax season. Just because someone ‘does their job’ doesn’t mean they don’t deserve an extra token of affection.</p>
<p>Epiphany,</p>
<p>Comparing a fundamental part of a physician’s job – prescribing drugs – with a peripheral part of a teacher’s job – writing LOR – seems a bit of a stretch.</p>
<p>I never stated that I expect a box of chocolates for writing LOR; quite the contrary, I agreed with your previous post concerning the adequacy of thank you notes.</p>
<p>As an aside, although I still believe that writing LOR is wholly discretionary on my part, I write close to 50 each year.</p>
<p>Okay, I’m not a parent but I’ll still post ;)</p>
<p>I wrote my recommenders notes and baked them chocolate chip cookies. They all seemed pleased, and my guidance counselor even got up from her desk to give me a big hug. She was very surprised.</p>
<p>Until reading this thread, I always felt shabby that S-2 only went on his own steam to talk heart-to-heart with all his recommending teachers, rather than writing a note which I urged him to do. </p>
<p>I’ve never been good at insisting/following through on my kids to write out Thank You notes except when someone gifts them with something material. It’s something I’d redo if I could. Bread-and-butter notes are really nice to receive. I just don’t generate enough of them. My kids are quick to initiate e-thanks, however.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I feel less shabby realizing the teachers might have enjoyed his personal conversation. He said they asked him some questions, too, about how it all felt from his POV. Also he waited until Springtime, so he had feedback for them about results and how he decided. </p>
<p>As an elementary teacher I always appreciated any form of thanks, from parent or child, but never held anyone in lower esteem if they didn’t. My regifted collection of chipped Santa mugs and Christmas tree ornaments is particularly sweet (poverty school). </p>
<p>I saved the letters and recall smiles, hugs, tears and good words. A kind word can rescue the roughest working day. Professionally, THE most helpful letter was addressed to my principal, which she put in my evaluation file. If you want to rock a teacher’s world, put an appreciative word in writing about that teacher’s extra-special efforts to their principal. I don’t think writing the LOR is extra-special, but for the teacher who came to our house late at night during a power outage/blizzard to hand-deliver …that I mentioned in person to his principal. It was truly “above and beyond.”</p>
<p>westerndad,</p>
<p>Do you mean to say that if you just refused to write ANY LOR’s one year, because you just didn’t feel like it, that would be okay with your employer? I find that hard to believe. It certainly would never fly at our high school. Students MUST have teacher LOR’s to complete their applications, just as they must have transcripts. The corollary to that is a requirement that teachers who feel they can honestly recommend a student, do so. Otherwise the whole system would break down. Part of your formal job description? Maybe not. Part of your job? Absolutely.</p>
<p>With respect to gifts, D stole another CC’er’s idea and ordered glass beer steins with the school’s logo from the college bookstore, which she filled with homemade fudge. She included a personal note to each recipient.</p>
<p>Special circumstances, but $50 gift certificates to local mall, and a beautiful pen to the GC.</p>
<p>Two days before winter break, my S was called to a meeting to discuss his “situation”; he was a junior, and needed 1 course to graduate. GC suggested he apply to college. On Thursday, son asked teachers for LORs, which needed to be turned in the next day. A favorite teacher said she couldn’t do it that night, and another teacher agreed. Math teacher just had to revise a letter he had written for another program. The GC pulled everything together in a day. She even called a few local interviewers to squeeze son in within the week. She’s a special person.</p>
<p>Post 35:</p>
<p>We’ll have to agree to disagree. It may not be “fundamental,” but there are a ton of things I do, and have done, in this field for which students depend on me, and without which they could not succeed in the full scope of their academic endeavors, one aspect of which includes college admissions (and for the younger ones, private high school admissions). They can’t ask the school custodian or the school secretary for the LOR, nor can they write it themselves. That may not be your definition of “fundamental,” but it would be my fuller definition of comprehensively what is singular to my role and not that of others.</p>
<p>An aside: Thankfully I’ve never belonged to a union, so it would also be immaterial to me if it weren’t in some union contract. I have heard of a local district (well-off, not poor) which, because of district/state budget cuts, has its members memorizing a refrain about what their strict job description is and isn’t, and just how ungenerous they intend (publicly, they announce) to be beyond those narrow boundaries. But that’s just one of the many reasons why I’ve never been interested in some labor union dictating to me the scope of my profession. I know what the scope is, and it’s not a punch card.</p>
<p>End of side-bar rant.
:)</p>