<p>This is actually an interesting question that will probably be answered differently by everyone depending on the world they come from and lots of other factors.</p>
<p>I was a late bloomer. My only two “ECs” in high school were gymnastics (I was mediocre) and drama (I was probably mediocre). When I graduated high school, I began to dance and found my love. I earned a scholarship two years later but after having knee surgery at 21, my potential career took a turn. It never stopped my passion for jazz dance and at age 29, I turned professional, working part time for almost 20 years. I’ve never been on Broadway and never was on MTV. I probably reached my peak in my 30s, right before my first child was born but even recently, I was blessed to perform and get a good review.</p>
<p>So, my lesson boys and girls is that, yes, I suppose if you want to be a world class something, start early and work hard. But if you want to excel at something and be successful at it, you can even start in adulthood. (And I dropped both gymnastics and acting during my college years)</p>
<p>Sounds reasonable to me. Passion should bring the best out of a student, but distinguishing himself or not depends on his natural ability or the type of ECs (e.g., a group EC).</p>
<p>Not really, JHS. If someone’s passion (I hate the word EC) is soccer, for example, then success has to be as part of a group. My point though is that if your passion is soccer be the best soccer player you can ever be and ignore everything else.</p>
<p>I am not sure about the connections though. I play a lot of tennis with random opponents arranged by the club. I never made any connection with anyone over the past 20 years. Play, shower, and leave has been the model. But that may just be me. I do see people in the club playing tennis as a social event.</p>
<p>IP - I’ve been traveling most of the day and just noticed this thread.</p>
<p>I salute you for this effort at keeping contamination out of other thread! Plus your humorous presumption that this thread will ultimately be shut down made me spit out my coffee laughing. Bravo!</p>
<p>There’s a huge literature over the past decade about the positive social effects of things like “KFC softball”. And when I look at the non-economic activity of people I know, in some cases it’s all about self-improvement and mastery, but in lots of cases it’s really about creating communities with other people, sometimes groups of close friends, but lots of times groups that are more loosely connected apart from the activity.</p>
<p>Sometimes that involves “giving back”, like Big Brothers Big Sisters, or youth sports coaching. Sometimes there isn’t any obvious social benefit – as with leagues of incompetent softball players, or flash mobs – but often it’s there in nonobvious ways. As an example, my sister used to have two soccer teams – a serious women’s team, and a regular Sunday co-ed pickup game. At two important junctures in her career, the Sunday pickup game was the source of job leads that took her to the next level. But I don’t mean to suggest that all I’m talking about is obvious personal economic benefit like that. People connected in groups like that vote more, miss work less, feel happier.</p>
<p>It’s not just the moral equivalent of TV, a way to pass time before going to bed.</p>
This is key. Tennis is played for the sport, the challenge, the competition, without consideration for the social aspect. Thats exactly what feels like is going on in these threads. Not meant as a put down. It actually explains a lot. The sport here is the “debate” (distinct from the discussions, knowledge-sharing and episodic roust-abouts, etc that commonly occur on cc) with little connection to the persons on the other side of the keyboards.</p>
<p>Lets be real here…EC for high schooler is a mean of keeping them out of trouble. Both D1 & D2 danced 15+ hours/week while in high school. There was no time for partying or dating. They had to go to bed early on Fri because they had to dance all day Sat, come Sun they had to do a whole week worth of homework. We didn’t encourage them to do ballet for college admission, it was our way of wearing them out.</p>
<p>Tennis is not necessarily conducive to making connections unless people wish to be connected. Soccer, softball, other team sports are different from tennis in this regard although there can always exist the spoiler on any team.</p>
<p>Wow IndianParent. I thought I was bad on this forum but seriously, 200 posts in 3 days to argue about basically the same thing? And in the most antagonistic way you can muster (I say that because I actually often agree with you but still find your approach annoying).</p>
<p>You pose things as questions but you aren’t really interested in learning anything. You just want to use it as a soapbox or to express your frustration through arguments and/or get a kick out of being purposefully button pushing. </p>
<p>Are you subbing while DadII is on vacation?</p>
<p>I have noticed this indeed in the USA, that communities are formed through sports or volunteer activities or other similar interests. Being Asian, you usually have a big family network, and then you have friends from school and college, and then parents on your kids’ friends, and the network extends that way. I think this is a very valuable insight on American networking and culture where the traditional social connections are weak so new ways to social networking steps in. I am legendarily poor in networking (though it hasn’t hurt me in any way) and I always marvel at people who can network with ease.</p>
<p>IndianParent, I noted that you have stated elsewhere that Asians are notoriously bad at socially mixing with other cultures. I have to disagree because in my case it’s not for lack of trying. Regardless of that, I have to say that competitive team sports is one very American way for people to meet and bond. Usually on a team, parents have the opportunity to volunteer for special team jobs as well . . . so two birds, one stone.</p>
<p>If I may chime in here, our kid’s only EC was swimming. All American, Academic All American, all of this 8 years ago, and just set the squadron record in the pool, seemingly coming out of nowhere (really, who advertises their HS endeavors - that’s what moms are for). Now the CO has set up a swim meet in Iraq for morale purposes and there is to be a swim off between the various units there. So his EC is now being useful as a physical fitness maintainer and a morale booster for thousands of GIs overseas. </p>
<p>So, that is what ECs can mean for the rest of your life. ;)</p>
<p>Oh, and beawinner is so right! I am still friends with the people our son swam with and have made many lasting connections in the community.</p>
<p>I didn’t mean that in a negative way. I think there is nothing wrong with not assimilating with American society-at-large. There is a sizable Asian population in most places to sustain a vibrant community. People should do what they feel comfortable doing.</p>
<p>I know that competitive team sports for kids is big in the USA. We had introduced our kid when he was young, and he had absolutely no interest. Of course, I don’t believe in forcing kids to do anything, so we didn’t engage any more.</p>
Here is a perfect example of nonsense that is presented as if it were fact and does nothing but pi$$ people off. “Traditional social connections” are just fine. Family networks many be less insular, but this may very well be a cultural and/or a good thing. Social skills are developed with ease, in contrast to what may be a struggle for some asians.</p>
<p>“Not really, JHS. If someone’s passion (I hate the word EC) is soccer, for example, then success has to be as part of a group. My point though is that if your passion is soccer be the best soccer player you can ever be and ignore everything else.”</p>
<p>You haven’t answered why it’s necessary to be the best soccer player (etc)you can. Why can’t someone pursue an interest “modestly”? Why can’t someone dabble in something? What’s the big deal? A few years ago I was into needlepoint. I did a few canvases and then I stopped. I might pick it up again at a later date. Or maybe I won’t. So? I do pilates. I’m not a human pretzel, I don’t “compete,” and frankly I’m not interested in everything I touch being my personal best. What if I decide to take up photography next? Do I have to become the next Margaret Bourke-White?</p>
<p>"Being Asian, you usually have a big family network, and then you have friends from school and college, and then parents on your kids’ friends, and the network extends that way. "</p>
<p>Does that include China, where it is more typical that an only child has two parents and four grandparents focused on him / her, with no siblings, aunts, uncles, or cousins as is more common here?</p>
<p>Anyway, I’m not sure this model is any more “American.” I do lots of business in Brazil and I’m currently in Switzerland and it doesn’t seem any different. People make friends through shared interests, some competitive, some not. Interests add dimension to life.</p>
I probably reached my peak in my 30s, right before my first child was born but even recently, I was blessed to perform and get a good review.</p>