I think there’s a big difference between personal hang ups and parenting fails and actual abuse. My family of origin has its share of dysfunction but none of it was directed and with intent. People mostly had good intentions and sometimes lacked in execution. We all blame out parents until we get older and wiser and forgive them. That’s where I see the role of forgiveness. No, my mom’s not perfect but neither am I. There are parenting choices that I would change if I had it to do over again. If I have “given” my kids hang ups I hope that they will go easy on me and forgive me as well.
That just gave me the creeps re-reading it. I have never liked that bumper sticker saying of “Christians aren’t perfect just forgiven”. That puts us right back in the world of forced forgiveness like you can shame a person into forgiving an abuser because it’s the Christian thing to do. It also give a free pass to avoid introspection. Being “broken” or “imperfect” by nature, if that’s what you believe, is no excuse for bad behavior.