<p>I stayed in a hostel when visiting my D, but the bathroom was nasty, hers was much nicer.
The shower stalls had doors that went to the floor, the space was about 4’-5’x 10’. There was a bench and a hook for your clothes, plenty of room to get dressed.</p>
<p>I don’t want to see naked people in the morning, I don’t care * what sex* they are.
As I mentioned, when dorms & bathrooms are family style, residents are much more likely to have appropriate coverage than when they are single sex.
When we have company or my kids are home, I don’t wander around half dressed.
When you live with people that you aren’t sleeping with, that is just common courtesy.
No one wants to see that.</p>
<p>However, many colleges still have dorms or at least a floor or two that is single sex for those who find sharing uncomfortable.
The dorms where D lived took a vote every year to decide if students wanted to use the bathroom closest to them or to designate by sex.</p>
<p>I love the responses from folks who declare it to be “no biggie - get over it” or claim that those who are against it are prudes. Good grief, people. What in the world is wrong with young adults not wanting to be naked or taking care of intimate bodily functions without having members of the opposite sex present in the same bathroom? If some kids want co-ed bathrooms (whether to feel more enlightened than everyone else or for some other, perhaps less wholesome, reason), fine. But they should most certainly not be the norm because, as someone else has noted, such set-ups are most certainly not the norm in the real world that exists off campus.</p>
<p>You know, if you are calling people out on being judgmental, this might not have been the right tack to take. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>It’s not to feel more enlightened, or for some “less wholesome reason”. It’s generally because schools have older dorms that have one bathroom on a floor. Some schools decide to keep dorms or floors single-sex. Others decide to have single-sex rooms on co-ed floors, which means the bathrooms become co-ed. Still others allow co-ed rooms when sophomores or older students request them. </p>
<p>Another poster upthread said this was an individual issue. I agree. If a prospie absolutely doesn’t want co-ed floor or bathroom then they should avoid schools that only have that option. If OTOH a prospie is apprehensive but not totally opposed to co-ed floors/bathrooms, the experiences of posters on this thread should reassure him/her that the apprehension does pass.</p>
<p>D2 was in a coed honors dorm first semester last year. One night a male tried to force his way into her room. She was so traumatized, thinking she was being attacked in order to be raped. Long story short, we moved her to an all girls dorm.</p>
<p>Maybe this makes her a “prude,” but I know for a fact she would NOT go for any situation in which the only thing between her naked showering body and a stranger who happens to be male is a shower curtain. Call it irrational, “squeamish,” an American “hangup,” etc., but she would feel so incredibly vulnerable, I would see no up side whatsoever to that situation. Obviously for people who have no problem with this, it is logically “no problem.” </p>
<p>D1 has never been in D2’s situation, but would not have been on board with a coed shower situation, no matter that there are shower curtains shielding the occupant from view. </p>
<p>I don’t find either viewpoint worthy of criticism.</p>
<p>I don’t see anyone suggesting that those are more comfortable with single sex bathrooms as prudes, only those who feel family style bathrooms are offensive to their sensibilities.
There are enough alternative choices for both, I only tried to explain why my experience with family style was more modest than single sex.</p>
<p>What I meant was that whether one would NOT be comfortable with a coed scenario, or whether one is fine with it, they are both valid viewpoints. There has seemed to be criticism of both POV, not by you, but by others. </p>
<p>As long as a single sex setup is available for those who prefer it, I don’t see a problem with coed bathrooms as an option. I don’t think those who would not want it have a “problem,” nor do I think others would be fine with it for unsavory reasons.</p>
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<p>I disagree that a young college woman preferring a single sex bathroom/shower setup is “awfully squeamish.”</p>
<p>It may depend on how much traveling you’ve done.
I will happily admit to preferring the nicer facilities the better, but some who’ve traveled a lot may be thrilled to find anywhere with running hot & cold water.</p>
<p>I remember visiting one of my sons at college and asking where the bathroom was located. He told me to use the one at the end of the hall because that was the women’s and “will be clean”. I said I thought all bathrooms were co-ed and he replied the women had claimed one for themselves and men were not allowed to use it. He added, sometimes on the weekends when the men’s got too nasty, they tried to sneak into the women’s. I found this interesting.</p>
<p>I also think both views are valid, but I don’t think the presence of coed bathrooms needs to be a dealbreaker. </p>
<p>Many freshmen if not most probably find it unnerving is they didn’t expect it. I put forth what my dorm did (we were not thrilled with coed bathrooms, but we came up with a solution on the first day) and was almost immediately misunderstood. (The sign was on the exterior hallway door, not inside the bathroom - that would be silly, where would we put it?)</p>
<p>I think many colleges have several permutations of dorm life that any student can find what they prefer. I take that back: I’ve seen several all women’s dorms but very few all male dorms. I guess with the females outnumbering the males, the all female dorms are easy to fill.</p>
<p>I don’t get this “don’t want to be naked in front of the opposite sex” comments. I lived in dorms in two colleges, with different permutations, and I was never naked in front of anyone in the bathrooms, female or male. I never saw a shower stall that didn’t have a separate changing area in front of it. And for goodness sake, if you have complicated hair stuff to do, so you’re not ready to get dressed yet, buy a freaking bathrobe. That’s what they’re FOR. :/</p>
<p>Those of you who have both sons and daughters and have your children share a bathroom at home, do they do all bathroom activities in front of the other?</p>
<p>Garland - I think everyone’s perception is colored by the bathrooms they had. Ours had shower stalls that you just stepped in and out of – no little “anteroom” to disrobe in.</p>
I find coed bathrooms uncomfortable. While my kids have their own bathrooms at home, members of the family of any gender can enter the bathrooms but one at a time. In dorms, students are mixing with strangers. The girls would have to deal with pee all over the seats and how would men feel seeing trash bins full of tampons and pads? Isn’t there more opportunities for sexual harassment and/or stalking in unisex restrooms? I feel privacy should always be a student’s choice whether it be sharing grades to a parent or sharing a bathroom with a student of a different gender.</p>
<p>I lived in both single sex and co-ed by wing dorms in undergrad, and didn’t really find the bathrooms that nasty in either. If anything, the co-ed one was worse since girls would bring guys back to their rooms, and they’d be the ones barfing everywhere and not giving a flip about how gross it was for the rest of us.</p>
<p>While we did have dividers for our showers, they were all curtains that didn’t quite make it to the wall. Also, when you opened/closed yours it tended to shift a couple of the others a bit. Add in what I know some guys did in the shower on my hall, and I can assure you I’d rather not be a girl in the showers at the same time as them. We also didn’t have any sort of private changing area, so most people would wrap themselves in a towel they threw over the curtain and get dressed in the room.</p>
<p>One of the dorms I stayed in at another college during an REU confused the heck out of me. They had nice separate shower stalls, but instead of an opaque door they were pebbled glass! (Also, still no separate changing area.)</p>
<p>And a little anteroom with a curtain still wouldn’t make my D feel comfortable. Telling her to “get a freaking bathrobe” would not cut it and there is NOTHING wrong with that. She has some healing to do after her experience but an attitude that preferring a single sex environment is unreasonable or something to get over is really presumptuous, imo.</p>
<p>As well, JHS mentioned upthread something like 2 showers, 2 sinks, 1toilet shared by something like 8 people, presumably in some kind of suite. That’s more akin to a private home bathroom. </p>
<p>Some of us had setups that were rows of sinks, rows of toilets, rows of showers shared by maybe 30 people. There’s a difference in privacy level. People need to explain the setup they are referring to so they don’t talk past one another.</p>
<p>So why aren’t gyms / health clubs set up that way, if it’s no big deal? Indeed, I don’t know of any college gyms that aren’t set up with separate men’s and women’s locker rooms. How about workplaces? Anyone’s workplace have coed bathrooms? (Excluding the single room one-at-a-time types)</p>