First name. And “ Mrs” is unacceptable to me. I don’t use my husbands last name so I’m not “Mrs” anybody. I hate when people think they are being polite by using Mrs. when they know what my last name is.
Maybe this is a separate thread, but I recently had a discussion with friends about what we would like our grandchildren to call us.
For Chinese we have a very specific name for grandmother from mother’s side and grandmother from father’s side. My girls call my mother by that name, so if my girls should have children in the future they could end up calling me by that name, and I don’t want to be my mother. I am thinking I may want to be called Mimi (instead of Nana) because it is easy for a kid to say (my goal is to have my grand baby call me before he/she could say mommy/daddy 
).
My kid calls her Mandarin-speaking grandparents the same names her cousins call them, even though she’s technically on the other side and should be using the other names.
First name. I don’t like anyone calling me mister.
First name. We have always had our kids friends call us by our first names. Both my kids with SO call their in-laws or I laws to be by first name. My H called my parents by their first names. I call my in-laws by their first names or I call them grandpa Jack and grandma Jill. They sigh cards and gifts to me From Mom and Dad. I know they would be happy if I called them Mom and Dad but I’m just not comfortable.
My kids’ SO’s use my first name though generally they avoid using anything. They use my H’s formal first name. I use his nickname to address him but if I am talking to my kids and then he is ‘dad’ and with anyone else I use his formal name.
My kids use mom and dad.
I call my in laws by their first names.
This thread reminded me of something.
When I was getting married, my mother realized that my wife was never going to call her “Mom” or anything like that, but she didn’t love being addressed by her first name by someone in the position of a child (as she saw it). She remembered that the mother of one of her college friends had had a special nickname – “Goggie” – she used for people like friends of her children, and ultimately her children’s spouses and her grandchildren. My mother thought that was cool.
So my mother, whose name was “Susan,” announced that my wife our friends, and our future children should all call her “Suzu.” None of them ever did.
@JHS , so,what did your wife call your Mom? By her first name?
What gets me is the number of people that think they are being polite who don’t understand that it’s plain old wrong to call me Mrs Maya’s Husbands Last Name amd then when I say “ thats not my last name, you know that “ call me “Mrs Maya’s Last Name”
Do NOT call me MRS! Ugh. I hate having to repeatedly correct people but come on!
I like first name, too. If the DILs want to call me mom, okay fine, but I’d rather be Lizardly. Then when the grands come, I will get another name. I haven’t thought that far ahead.
I had them call me by my first name and they still do (married). My Thai DIL most often calls me Mom though. I think it’s sweet. Her own Mom is so far away.
Just my first name. Though their older friends, meaning those they’ve known since they were small, often call me firstname-mom
I want them to call me by my first name – just as they would if we worked in the same office.
But in actual practice, both my son’s girlfriend and my daughter’ husband seem to avoid calling me by any name at all. Perhaps they came from families with different customs.
Re grandparent names: You don’t always get a choice. My daughter and her husband don’t have kids yet, but two of her husband’s siblings do. So his parents have already taken one set of grandparent names. My husband and I will have to choose different ones.
@marian why would you have to choose different grandparent names unless you want to? I called both of my grandmothers grandma and both grandfathers were grandpa. If a topic needed clarification, then their last name was added.
I also had two grandmas and two grandpas and added their last names when clarification was necessary.
We have grandma/grandpa and oma/opa. It really helps keep things straight with the kids.
Both sets of grandparents for my kids were just Grandma and Grandpa. For clarification in our nuclear family, my MIL was Grandma (first name), and my parents were Grandma (last name). I have no memory of how that was decided.
I look like I am going to be in the minority. My kids will soon have a significant others and they will start by calling me Mr. ChangeTheGame. They will have to “earn” calling me by my 1st name. Once they get to a point were it is serious enough, my 1st name will come into play. I call my MIL Mom and my FIL Dad, but my wife still hasn’t figured out what to call my parents after almost 20 years of marriage so she just doesn’t call them anything. She just makes eye contact and starts talking.
It seems like this is a bit of a cultural issue. Around here the norm is that children call all adults other than they teachers by their first name. I remember one family who moved here from the South whose kid was friends with mine and started calling me “Mrs Husbands Last Name”
I said “ Oh honey that’s not my name. Why don’t you just call me Maya.” And the kid did until her dad heard that and was like “You can’t call her that. You need to say “Mrs Husbands last name” and when I pointed out not my last name he tried for “Mrs Maya’s Last Name” and again I was like nope. “Not a Mrs there. she really can call me Maya. It’s what I prefer “ And he said “ I’m not comfortable with that.” And I said “so I should have my kid call you Roger cuz that’s what I’m comfortable with, instead of calling you Mr Smith like you prefer?”
It was like I’d trapped him. And he finally gave up. She called me Maya and used my name ALOT since I think it was such a novelty for her to call an adult by their first name. Lol.
It is definitely cultural. I am almost 43 years old and I have never in my life called an adult a generation ahead of me or more by their 1st name only. It was okay for me to use Ms First Name or Mr First Name and I still do it today (even at work) as a nod to my own Southern upbringing.