<p>My international son visited family in the U.S. once – for this first Thanksgiving break – and isn’t interested in doing that again (more because of the hassle of travel than family issues). He prefers staying connected to Oberlin in various ways. He either stays on campus – but the dining halls are closed over the fall and spring breaks, so he makes other plans for dining – or he goes on road trips with one of the organizations that he’s involved with. Staying on campus gives him a chance to get ahead of (or, in his case, catch up with) assignments and decompress a little after his mid-terms. For the winter holiday break his freshman year he came to visit us. This year we decided we’d visit family in the U.S. and he joined us. He has participated in both Winter Terms and will very likely do so for the next two. </p>
<p>That gives you an idea of what he has actually done. Now let me give you something to think about in terms of how you might look at this and how your views might evolve – with a heavy emphasis on “might.”</p>
<p>As time goes on, it’s clearer and clearer to all of us that he’s more and more “on his own” and while the financial umbilical cord is as active as it has ever been, the orbit of his planet revolves around different stars than ours – which is much more of a happy thing than a sad one for all of us because, as a parent, it’s really neat to see him defined on his terms and not as projections of who we are. And tying this observation back to your question, this means that, more and more, he’s in an Oberlin orbit and it’s still an international orbit but it doesn’t revolve around his parents’ home as its sun.</p>
<p>I apologize for the trite cosmological metaphor. I use it here because I think it’s an apt one.</p>
<p>At first, you’ll have this question about what to do during breaks that you just posed, but with each semester, I don’t know if home will be defined in the international student’s head in the same way that the prospective international student is approaching it. Sure, a large number of U.S. college students look at these long breaks as chances to reconnect with the Mother Ship. And because that’s a norm, the question of what an international student does is a normal question.</p>
<p>At this point – just past the halfway point of Year 2 – I now think of these “go back to home” visits as being an unfortunate norm and I’m pretty sure that my son is grateful that he’s not operating under that expectation so that he can plan his breaks with a clean slate. A lot of people go home because there’s nothing else to do or they’re in a rut and do it by rote. As an international student, the options are wide open and you’d approach each break with intentionality about what you’re going to do with that time. How lucky is that? </p>
<p>This is definitely a “your mileage may vary” sort of thing – because people have very unique circumstances and they’re wired differently. Touching back with home at every opportunity is the right move for some people, so that’s the best way for them to do breaks. But those people should be thinking more about local options and not looking overseas. I suggest you visit the international boards and see what other students there are doing – not from a point of concern that there will be nothing to do, but rather from a concern that you don’t want to squander an opportunity to do something better and you want to see what other people are doing so that you’re not shuttling to your home or sitting around campus thinking you’re a refugee of sorts as you prepare ra-men noodles or spaghetti in the kitchen on your hall. You can do that…but you can be more intentional about what you do, too.</p>