There are a lot of emotions on this thread - things not said clearly which leaves the door open for assumptions, parents maybe mad that the situation in their state for in-state options is not great, etc etc. Don’t shoot the messengers who are sharing information and potential options! Yes one does need to understand some basic student stats to provide any helpful information.
And are some of the parents/students figuring this all out during first semester of HS senior year?
Higher ed can be a mine field for sure, just like making wise decisions through a student’s education through grade 12 and all the ECs, freedoms and responsibilities, etc.
Sometimes one gets bit by “you don’t know what you don’t know”.
I applaud all the parents trying to do their best for their kids, and all the students who make very good effort to understand the ‘system’ as we know it and pursue ahead.
All I can say is, I am glad we have just one left in college and should finish debt free. We have dealt with job loss, job instability, stage III parent cancer. One has to put it all in perspective. Attending a funeral this week for a friend’s disabled son who at age 16 was like a baby due to severe disabilities. I cannot even imagine what that family has endured and the range of emotions/extreme sorrow.
@Class2020ru You posted on 3/26/16 that you live in Texas and that “A&M offered me good aid and it would be the best choice for me, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t fit in to the campus atmosphere”.
Maybe @Class2020ru received merit aid? It’s not really possible to answer the title question without knowing the schools. Some offer little or no aid based on need, some offer full tuition to incomes up to $125k.
To offer a number to the OP, I have seen the numbers come out around $250K per year in income. At this level, your EFC is basically over the cost to attend and therefore would not have any demonstrated need. In reality, I feel the number is much much lower. Around $150K with a single child in college. I just do not see colleges giving much aid to a family with incomes over $150K. I doubt you would find a sympathetic ear.
“I AM bitter about my parents refusal to pay for or even contribute to my college. They went into debt to send my younger sister to school in another country and made me pay rent money, so, yes, I am bitter.”
I understand your bitterness. And you couldn’t even borrow the car without paying your father for gas.
So how are your parents doing now? How is your relationship with them? Are you going to be expected to help support them in their old age? Take care of them? (I hope not. Your little sister should be the one to take them on, since she reaped the benefit of their money!)
My parents didn’t pay for my college. I’m not bitter. At least they didn’t charge me rent to live at home.
Since when is it a parents responsibility to pay for their kids college?
If they do help the kid - great. That’s the parents choice. I certainly want to help my kids as best I can but here’s a note to Mr millennial…
Work as many crappy Jobs as you have to to pay your way. If you still can’t pay the college bills take a semester off and work full time or join the Army for four years and finish up when you’re discharged.
I think you need to read further back, @JerseyParents. The poster who is bitter is bitter because her parents went into debt for one child’s education (the younger sister) while making her (the poster) pay rent and prepay the father for gas before she borrowed the car.
Nobody in my family contributed anything to my education either, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel a responsibility to help my children afford college. This isn’t 1980 anymore, and a high school diploma won’t get you very far today. The minimum requirement for most above-minimum-wage jobs in the 21st century is a bachelor’s degree in something or an associate’s degree in a technical program.
Why have children at all if you’re not willing to provide them with the education required of them in the world in which they now live (not the one you grew up in)?
Plenty of people choose to only have one or two children because of the high cost of education. Others who choose to have larger families frequently leave no stone unturned to find a way to provide their kids with some form of higher education. For those who need help, there is some decent FA available, but to choose to have children with the attitude that they’re on their own if they want to go to college seems like dereliction of duty.
And unless there are some extenuating circumstances (death of the breadwinner, long periods of unexpected joblessness, etc.), “go join the army” seems callous and cavalier to me. People should join the military because they feel a duty or calling to serve, not because their parents have shown them the door at 18.
Nothing against the military or those who serve and have served, but I would crawl through the New York sewers killing rats for their pelts before I would tell my kids joining the Army was their option to pay for college because I don’t owe them anything.
I know someone who is very bitter because he has to pay off his wife’s college loans because her parents never helped her, and she was too dumb to go to a local school she could afford and she also works in a very low paying industry so catching up is pretty hopeless unless they reduce their lifestyle to living in a tent. They now have an 18 year old who should be able to go, but isn’t, because they are still paying off the wife’s loans. It might never end. I say pay what you can when you can. Go local and go cheap if someone isn’t helping you. If something isn’t affordable today, it probably won’t be affordable tomorrow either.
It astounds me that people think like this. Seriously, why do people like this have children in the first place?
It seems to me that bringing a child into the world should be one of the most carefully considered decisions that any couple ever makes. But most people probably spend more time considering what clothes to buy than the implications of having children.
Children do not have a choice to enter this world. Therefore IMO it is the parents’ responsibility to do everything they can to prepare the child for success. To me, this means that if the parents can save for a child’s education, they absolutely should do so.
In this country, a kid turns into an adult when he/she turns 18. A college kid has the “right” not to tell his/her parents about his/her grade, major choice, or even whether he/she is still in the school. The parents surely have the “right” not to pay for their adult children’ college costs.
Of course, the relationship in a family should be more than just about rights. There is one thing we call love. But if it goes down to a merely contractual level and only about right, it just cannot be help. We just need to do whatever you need to do. We do not live in a perfect world.
@socalmom007 Sharing your pain right now (same household income and west coast expenses)…high income no (liquid) assets is a bad place to be…especially if your kid has worked their butt off in school and is now competitive for the elite privates.
@AlexDad2016 Yep. People that live in expensive areas like the coasts have assets locked up in real estate and tend to be liquid asset poor. Here in the east, we are surrounded by very expensive private schools that all cost around $60K+. If your kid busts her butt to get a 4.0 GPA, she should go to a school where she will thrive. I am sorry to all those who say she can go to a community college to save money. That is not realistic. The point of a community college is for students who might have started slow in High School and now need to prove they can do college work or to prepare them for the rigors of college. They fill a great role. But a 4.0 GPA student needs a better option. JMHO.
Redpoodles- seems like the wife could just- y’know- get a higher paying job. I know a lot of women who spend inordinate amounts of time whining that early childcare doesn’t pay what it should (and I agree) or that doing web design for the local YMCA barely covers their expenses once everything gets factored in (and I agree) but someone with an 18 year old has had an 18 year warning sign that it’s time to move into a higher paying profession if paying off college loans is a priority. Get an online certificate in something more lucrative. Go to your local community college and get more training. Moonlight as an SAT tutor.
But someone has an 18 year old kid who can’t go to college because the mom is stuck in a low paying industry and is still paying off her own loans?
Guess what- the problem ain’t the loans.
I just had this conversation with a neighbor who can’t believe she’s having trouble making ends meet after her divorce by being a part-time fitness instructor. Another acquaintance is a very part-time yoga instructor. Wants advice on increasing her income. I say, “get a job” (she has a college degree and a strong resume; could get hired tomorrow as an executive assistant at a local company making $65K plus benefits). She says, "But then I won’t have “me time”.
It is an affordable option to get gen ed requirements out of the way, giving you time to get your money together for the last 2 years.
Most community colleges have articulation agreements with 4 year schools allowing more than one route to get from point A to point B. For example; the NYS statutory colleges at Cornell have extensive articulation agreements with the 2 year SUNY/CUNY schools
NYU has a CCTOP program with CUNY & SUNY schools on LI where kids who are accepted get an automatic half tuition scholarship
For kids who know that they are going to professional school, they can get the Bio, Chem Organic Chem out of the way and for some kids maintain a good GPA while doing so (because it won’t be as cut throat as the local state 4 year school)
At the end of the day, the line to pay for college starts at your house, giving you 17/18 years to prepare for it.
For some families, this means putting aside a little out of each paycheck. As you start making more money, putting aside a little more.
If you make $350 k, and feel that you need to live a $350k life style to keep up with the Smiths or the Joneses, or as @blossom posted, you want to stay home and teach yoga 3 hours a week, or have some “me time”, those are life choices that happen in your house. I know parents who have to stay home taking care of family members, homeschooling kids because it is the best thing for the child (so I am not talking to you)
I know many two income families, where one income takes care of the household and the other income goes into savings for college.