<p>I wouldn’t really get too excited about hubby buying some candy bars at 7-11 or pulling into fast food joints…he could be doing a lot worse things like chasing other women, gambling, boozing, etc. Maybe just forget about it</p>
<p>It may have been mentioned, but just an FYI, I just read yesterday that a study found that most bank mobile apps are NOT secure and dangerously open to having information stolen.</p>
<p>flashing cash can be dangerous too. what is totally safe these days?</p>
<p>If me and my husband were trying to cut down the wastive spending, I would crack down on him. $20 blown at a gas station stop can add up, fast! Now imagine that spanned out over a week…months…years! At least, if there was a paper trail of this money, I’d feel more comfortable, except there is no paper trail. It “disappears”. And if I was getting pegged for expenses when his expenses are traceable…I’d want I change that, as well.</p>
<p>Is this what you saw?
<a href=“http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/13/banking_apps_insecure_and_badly_written_say_researchers/[/url]”>http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/13/banking_apps_insecure_and_badly_written_say_researchers/</a>
<a href=“http://blog.ioactive.com/2014/01/personal-banking-apps-leak-info-through.html?m=1[/url]”>http://blog.ioactive.com/2014/01/personal-banking-apps-leak-info-through.html?m=1</a></p>
<p>I’m wondering if I should just suck it up and let Mint have my numbers…since I am signing up for the Target credit watch thing and stay on top of my accounts anyway.</p>
<p>*Perhaps a different approach. You could tell him with possible retirement looming (or whatever reason) you are going to start tracking monthly expenses. If he has anything that’s NOT a personal expense (gas, something for the house, etc), could he please give you the receipt to track properly.
*</p>
<p>I agree with this idea. and, I agree that the motivation can be, “let’s see if you can retire soon.” Maybe that will appeal to him enough to try a better system. </p>
<p>This is why I’d like to go to nearly a pure debit card system. We have 3 debit cards that we use regularly…one for him, one for me, and one (sep acct) for business/rental expenses. </p>
<p>we also have another rarely-used credit union acct that has debit cards. I’m thinking that we need to use that acct to put his “allowance” in plus give some weekly cash (the amount? I’m not sure what’s right.) Then HIS expenses will be easily seen online and he’ll see where his money goes. </p>
<p>I admit, I hate receipts, too. When I buy something for a rental, I take a camera pic and email it for a record. I love Home Depot! When I’m at the register, it asks me if I want the receipt emailed to me. Once you put in your email address once, they have it! So nice!!! I put that rec’d email into the email folder for such receipts. Yay!</p>
<p>I do keep a separate acct for business/rental expenses, so it is just “grabbing at straws” when H tosses out a “you just spent $150” (on a repair). lol In a less-emotional moment, he clearly knows what that expense was. </p>
<p>Money is emotional for people. It is for H. He knows that he comes from a family that was LOUSY with money. He knows that my family really watches their money. I’m not perfect, but I don’t like “nickel and diming” because it really adds up. Occasional splurges are fine. Daily ones are just wasteful! </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Otherwise you’ll simply code all of his cash withdraws as his personal expenses. Then you start coding. The TV for the rental unit is no longer a M2CK expense, but ‘rental maintenance’ or whatever you wish to call it. You can use any simple program for this. It puts the onus on you, but the likelihood of him keeping track is small.</p>
<p>Perhaps when he sees the monthly expense reports you provide he will see two things…he is spending a lot on non-essentials (which he’s either okay with or not), and M2CK personal expenses aren’t so high. If he wants to reduce his personal expenses he needs to give you receipts showing otherwise, or spend differently.</p>
<p>Obviously, easier said then done. Again just tossing out an idea. If you find one thing that’s worth trying then it’s all good.*</p>
<p>I agree that everything needs to be really separated. The rentals are, but he’s not looking at the statements, he was just being emotional and reaching for some kind of response. Aside from the rentals, we need 3 accts…one for him, one for me, and one for “family expenses” (mortgage, utilities, phone, etc).</p>
<p>I think that if I can convince him to use less cash, this could work. If I could get him to review online his recent debits, he’d see a trend and hopefully self-adjust.</p>
<p>Now, I’ve got to figure out what amount should be the allowance/pocket cash that will be adequate and not insulting. lol</p>
<p>I wouldn’t really get too excited about hubby buying some candy bars at 7-11 or pulling into fast food joints…he could be doing a lot worse things like chasing other women, gambling, boozing, etc. Maybe just forget about it</p>
<p>lol…I don’t believe in…well, he could be doing MUCH worse, so let him blow thru $1000 a month in junk. Once he’s retired, that $1000 a month getting wasted would be missed. </p>
<p>Seriously, I’m not talking about $20 a week in Starbucks or candy bars. I don’t care about that. I’m talking about $14 a day in “bottled beverages” bought at a gas station…along with $20 at Taco Bell…and every other impulse thing he buys. </p>
<p>So, what’s a reasonable weekly (or bi-weekly) allowance?</p>
<p>Ask him what he thinks is a reasonable amount. Whether $50 or $100 go with what HE thinks. Because, under your theory, it will routinely prove not to be enough.</p>
<p>/thus the lightbulb moment.</p>
<p>M2CK -You know your husband and you’ll take the ideas and figure out the combination of what will work best for you. It’s all a balancing act of what is going to get you the most information that he will comply with, and hopefully voluntarily reduce cash expenditures. Marriage is a dance. </p>
<p>Niquii77 - After you’re married 25-30 years you let us know how the heavy handed, totalitarian approach works for you. ;)</p>
<p>Crossed posts, I like TempeMoms idea of letting him give a $ amount. It’s non aggressive, which is what you want. When it’s his # to begin with it’s harder to argue when he runs out. It sounds like you’re right, he’s unaware of how much he really spends and will underestimate.</p>
<p>My relationship is hardly heavy handed and totalitarian. I understand more about marriage and letting bygones be bygones than you are aware. :)</p>
<p>This situation is difficult because your H is already used to burning cash without leaving a paper trail. I suggest you use a personal finance software if you are serious about tracking income and expenses.</p>
<p>Give him a cash allowance, for example $100 per week. If he uses up $100 then he needs to use debit or credit cards for the remainder of the week. This way he will feel you are not limiting his expenses just the cash transactions. You can easily see his transactions online and input it to the personal finance software and assign it a category, Dads Misc Exp or you can also download the transactions and import it to the application. If he gives you receipts for his cash expenses, perfect then you can enter that as a transaction in the application with category Dads Misc Exp too. At the end of the week, subtract the cash transactions amount with receipts from $100 and assign it a new category. For example, if he gave you only a $5 receipt then enter $95 as a transaction with category Dads Unaccounted Exp. </p>
<p>At the end of the month, generate reports and graphs and show him how huge a slice Dads Unaccounted Exp is relative to the Household Expenses. This process has worked for us since my H and I were a young couple. I have various categories and sometimes tell him, You are giving too much money to X. Unfortunately, this system requires a lot of work from you.</p>
<p>How about something like this:</p>
<p><a href=“https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/envelopes/id372593979?mt=8[/url]”>https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/envelopes/id372593979?mt=8</a></p>
<p>I believe it is based on an envelope cash system idea. We haven’t used it ourselves but I had looked into it in the past. One big drawback is that it doesn’t seem to link two accts, but perhaps just for your husband it would help him see the numbers. GL!</p>
<p>^^^
That looks interesting. I just downloaded it to my iPad and will see how it would do. My H has an iPhone so it would work there as well.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>*Ask him what he thinks is a reasonable amount. Whether $50 or $100 go with what HE thinks. Because, under your theory, it will routinely prove not to be enough.</p>
<p>/thus the lightbulb moment.*</p>
<p>Yes, this is a good idea. Since he doesn’t think he spends much, he’ll probably say about $60 (three twenties). </p>
<p>The first time he quickly goes thru it, he’ll claim it was unusual. But as it happens week after week, the lightbulb will go on.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>I just wanted to say that I’m using the “envelopes” app and I like it. It’s only be a couple of days, but it’s super easy and there’s a place for notes.</p>
<p>I made “family envelopes” (mortgage, utilities, food, etc), my rental business envelopes (mortgages, repairs, etc) , and M2CK envelopes (gas, clothing, misc, etc.)…and so forth. </p>
<p>I figure that I’ll use it myself for a few weeks, and then show it to H. If he sees that I’m using it, then I think he’ll be more open to using it.</p>
<p>It looks like a great app. In reading the reviews it looks like many people have asked for an update to sync mobile devices (ie between spouses). It doesn’t seem to lower the universally high scores it receives though. Let us know how it works out!</p>
<p>The guy who developed it used to use cash and real envelopes and (obviously) realized how dangerous/inconvenient that was. So, he came up with this. </p>
<p>I’m pretty sure that if I use it for a few weeks and it works, H will be open to trying it. :)</p>
<p>Heck, if he wants to retire by the time he’s 60 (less than 2 years), then he needs to know for sure how much he’s spending and where he could “cut back” if needed. Right now, he thinks all of his spending is absolutely 100% necessary. lol</p>