I have followed this thread with interest. I do think middle class is influenced by region and cost of living. But mostly I think middle class is having to go to work to survive. Both my husband and I work and make close to the same amount - and until recently we had to work just to pay the basic bills. I suppose we could have lived on just one salary but we would have qualified in our county (this is where the region of the country comes into play) for lunch subsidies for our children and some other government programs (health insurance subsidies, cell phone subsidies, heating subsidies, title 8 housing subsidies, etc…). When we were in the middle class vacations were a day at a nearby state park, a day at the state amusement park (every other year), or going to the shore (or mountains) for the day/weekend. We could not/did not take our kids to Disney or on other vacations.
BTW – we are now what I would consider upper middle class (before finding CC) or even upper class (reality check after finding CC) as we have matured in our work places (no job losses) and earned more and stayed married-- But we were certainly squarely middle class for most of our working lives while our kids were little until the past 5-7 years. We could now live on one salary - but we have not moved so our mortgage and bills were being paid on much less and through it all we were careful to not rack up consumer debt- but we have been putting the new “extra $” into retirement and college savings – a luxury that was not in our power when I realize we were middle class. We are expecting to be full pay for our 3 kids’ college expenses if they do not go to places with merit — and we have planned for this (one reason we both continue to work so hard). Maybe this is why so many people on CC feel that they are middle class when based in reality they are not – the demographics here for the most part are pulling in people who have been working for half of their lives (and still working- not retired) and are now making more than the median salaries.
When I see people “choose” to stay home and not work for a paycheck – that is a luxury that puts you out of the middle class IMO. You may have to make choices, cut back, drive cars until they die, not vacation, ect to do so… but that is a choice of those in an upper class can make — IMO those who I would consider middle class do not have those choices - either by low salaries or single parenting. Middle class has to work to survive even if that means cobbling together daycare/aftercare and not being home with your kids. So people may be choosing to live a “middle class life” but I do not think that should be confused with being middle class and not having that choice. Those choices come with many perks that are not available to those truly middle class families.
From my experiences, middle class families are not managing their kids activities, playdates, carpools, and future ECs – they are working to put a roof over their kids heads, clothes on their backs, and food on the table - and if they can drive their kids home from 1 after school activity or manage one sport or church event on top of their work hours - they do it for their kids at the expense of their other responsibilities (sleep, housekeeping, social life). This puts the middle class at a further disadvantage as college time rolls around. The kids of the true middle class are rarely in multiple clubs, sports, ECs - they did not have the resources (parent time or $). They most often haven’t taken the SAT/ACT multiple times, don’t have tutors, and are likely not in the best school districts in their states. The kids in the middle class living with one parent or two working parents do not have the luxury of paying for financial reach schools by the other parent going back to work or picking up a part time job.
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