Hayden, my husband can’t order fast food with his English accent, nobody understands his accent. I’ve always to do the ordering. The fast food workers are not native either.
What I disagree about the survey (post #10) is that it concludes privilege/underprivilege is permanently ingrained. It screams: ** once a victim, always a victim.**
What difference does this make if my parents are I are upper income today?
Four steps forward, seven steps back. A net three steps back. Not terrible for a 58yr old black woman whose early years were under segregation. My forward steps were all economics based. My backward steps were all race and gender based.
Well, I’m 14.5 steps forward, 6.5 steps back. D is 15.5 steps forward, 3 steps back. H is 17 steps forward and 2 steps back. S is 18 steps forward and 2 steps backward. We do know we are privileged and do what we can to help those who aren’t. I started a nonprofit and donate money and a lot of time to it, to provide direct service to people–patients, caregivers and healthcare providers.
Here’s the list of questions that were used in the video. I’m sure everyone can come up with different questions as well.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/dayshavedewi/what-is-privilege#.ifwMrmnY5
List of questions
- If your parents worked nights and weekends to support your family, take one step back.
- If you are able to move through the world without fear of sexual assault, take one step forward.
- If you can show affection for your romantic partner in public without fear of ridicule or violence, take one step forward.
- If you have ever been diagnosed as having a physical or mental illness/disability, take one step back.
- If the primary language spoken in your household growing up was not english, take one step back.
- If you came from a supportive family environment take one step forward.
- If you have ever tried to change your speech or mannerisms to gain credibility, take one step back.
- If you can go anywhere in the country, and easily find the kinds of hair products you need and/or cosmetics that match your skin color, take one step forward.
- If you were embarrassed about your clothes or house while growing up, take one step back.
- If you can make mistakes and not have people attribute your behavior to flaws in your racial/gender group, take one step forward.
- If you can legally marry the person you love, regardless of where you live, take one step forward.
- If you were born in the United States, take one step forward.
- If you or your parents have ever gone through a divorce, take one step back.
- If you felt like you had adequate access to healthy food growing up, take one step forward
- If you are reasonably sure you would be hired for a job based on your ability and qualifications, take one step forward.
- If you would never think twice about calling the police when trouble occurs, take one step forward.
- If you can see a doctor whenever you feel the need, take one step forward.
- If you feel comfortable being emotionally expressive/open, take one step forward.
- If you have ever been the only person of your race/gender/socio-economic status/ sexual orientation in a classroom or workplace setting, please take one step back.
- If you took out loans for your education take one step backward.
- If you get time off for your religious holidays, take one step forward.
- If you had a job during your high school and college years, take one step back.
- If you feel comfortable walking home alone at night, take one step forward.
- If you have ever traveled outside the United States, take one step forward.
- If you have ever felt like there was NOT adequate or accurate representation of your racial group, sexual orientation group, gender group, and/or disability group in the media, take one step back.
- If you feel confident that your parents would be able to financially help/support you if you were going through a financial hardship, take one step forward.
- If you have ever been bullied or made fun of based on something that you can’t change, take one step back.
- If there were more than 50 books in your house growing up, take one step forward.
- If you studied the culture or the history of your ancestors in elementary school take one step forward.
- If your parents or guardians attended college, take one step forward.
- If you ever went on a family vacation, take one step forward.
- If you can buy new clothes or go out to dinner when you want to, take one step forward.
- If you were ever offered a job because of your association with a friend or family member, take one step forward.
- If one of your parents was ever laid off or unemployed not by choice, take one step back.
- If you were ever uncomfortable about a joke or a statement you overheard related to your race, ethnicity, gender, appearance, or sexual orientation but felt unsafe to confront the situation, take one step back.
It sucks how poor the level of mental health awareness is in the black community. I’m still waiting for the day it gets hashtagged or something.
9 steps forward, 6 steps back, with a net of 3 steps forward, ignoring the mental illness points because while I have an illness I receive help and support from those around me. I am grateful and aware of how privileged I am. Being a black woman who was raised by an immigrant, single mom, I really lucked out. We always had food on the table, my mom has multiple degrees and certifications, supportive extended family unit, middle class, never had to work to contribute to the family or my own expenses, and I’m attending college debt free. It could be a lot worse. There’s no doubt that I’m blessed. Gotta remember that and pay it forward for those less fortunate.
If using the survey in post #25, I ended up with -6.
However, some of the questions were a bit dodgy. The one about traveling outside the U.S. was a yup for me, but (for example) that was because we had to leave the country due to financial hardships for the majority of my early childhood. So…idk about that.
I’m not sure that’s true, GMTplus7. I assumed all the questions work from the premise that backward steps represent additional challenges others may not face, and forward steps represent the opposite.
The question does seem to assume that the reason one’s parents worked nights and weekends to support the family is because the bills would not have been paid otherwise. But, there are many people who could be labeled economically privileged, that seldom see their children precisely because they work nights and weekends to support the family. I know people who are driven professionals who are never far away from their phones, often travel on business, and are constantly on call. They are working for greater economic freedom, and the ability to provide their children with privileges they never had. They don’t necessarily work harder than the working class parents who work the same kinds of hours, but they are definitely able to leverage that time to greater economic affect.
The mental illness question was not on the original survey. I added it for the benefit of this discussion after thinking about all the ways in which one can be privileged or disadvantaged. I don’t know the nature of your mental health challenges, but for the majority of my life, I suffered bouts of almost debilitating clinical depression, and periods of crippling anxiety/panic disorder. I seemed to “outgrow” (?) the worst of the latter during my thirties, and am now finding my golden years relatively free of major depression. Mental illness made it impossible for me to fulfill the promise of my intellectual potential, and often left me drained of the vitality I needed to overcome challenges. I also still suffer from ADD, so finding myself in a perpetual state of scatter has always frustrated me no end. Mental illness knows no color boundaries, but color boundaries often affect how mental illness is perceived.
Maybe not exactly, but it’s still being disrespected. I have to confess though being kind of sad when I realized I was no longer young enough or cute enough for the catcalls. I actually spend a lot of time with construction guys and for the most part I like them.
I had a lot of steps forward - only the ones specifically related to being a woman stepped me back.
It is interesting in the things that the surveys call out as showing privilege or hardships vs other things that are not separately identified. Most US women can answer that they are paid less than their male colleagues because studies show that is an ongoing issue. I’m happy that H & I were able to allow our kids to have fewer hardships than he and I did. I agree that it makes a difference if one is working nights and weekends out of economic necessity or because that is the nature of the job. Many MDs and other professionals DO work nights and at least Saturday, plus call on weekends. Most attorneys and teachers I know take work home, as do others, which includes work on nights and weekends. Even many civil servants I know work nights and weekends. They have a more comfortable cushion financially, but it is pretty much the nature of most jobs.
I’d prefer not to get catcalls, but I guess it is a compliment of sorts. Have physical (or mental) illness (or disability) is a question in the BuzzFeed list and is pretty much out of our control, especially when cause is unknown or from a virus that has decided to wreck havoc in our bodies.
To me, some of these issues are a MUCH more severe hardship than others, and some of the privileges are much greater than others, but it is to help generate awareness and conversation, I believe.
@gmtplus7 I didn’t interpret it as “once a victim, always a victim.” I just interpreted it as any success one has attained is much less as the result of privilege.
Using Oprah Winfrey and Donald Trump as examples, both are enormously successful. Ages and net worths are comparable (60s; $3 to $4 billion each). Winfrey started from much, much further down on the socioeconomic ladder, the daughter of a single, teenaged mother in the rural south. Trump was born to financially successful parents and went to Wharton. I think it would be beyond dispute who was more privileged between the two.
As most doctors have worked a night shift and lawyers working weekends , I’m not sure that most people would think they are lacking in privilege.
Here are a couple of questions to add.
Have you used your gender to get out of a police ticket? Take a step forward.
If you are a male over 6 foot take a step forward, a woman over 5’9 take a step forward (as people of certain height earn more, not sure if I got the heights right).
There are a few questions, I would expect everyone to step back.
“What I disagree about the survey (post #10) is that it concludes privilege/underprivilege is permanently ingrained. It screams: once a victim, always a victim.”
Yes!!this is not a survey about self empowerment, but victimhood. I initially looked at it, in my typical stance of self empowerment, and said-no steps back. But if I looked at it from a victims point of view (because many of these questions are subjective, and not straightforward), I could count several steps back. I would add this question to the survey, “Do you feel you are a victim of some sort?” If so, take 30 steps back, and it would negate all the steps forward.
“If your parents worked nights and weekends to support your family, take one step backward.
What difference does this make if my parents are I are upper income today?”
That’s just a purely ridiculous question. My kids are far better off than I was, my parents never worked nights and weekends, because Boeing engineers didn’t work during those hours. Me and my husband work many nights, weekends, and vacations, because the work continues 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
Actually, I was HAPPY that I was ABLE to work in HS and college, as was H and each of our kids. I don’t necessariyl see that as a negative but a positive and actually a privilege. I was doing work I found interesting and helped reduce my college bills. H took 7 years to graduate from college because he was working while going to school but ENJOYED it and learned a lot from his jobs. My kids were both happy to get jobs in their majors, which were tough to get.
I agree that perception of privilege vs victim makes a difference.
We didn’t have many books in our home because we lived within 2 blocks from the public library when I was growing up. Our kids lived surrounded by books in our home but read a lot online as well.
I was not the first female that was hired by my law firm but I WAS the first female they hired to do legal work and not be a secretary or receptionist or book keeper. I guess it was successful, since they hired another 4 women right after me!
@dadoftwingirls and @busdriver11 Just wondering why the reluctance to acknowledge that some people start the race from so much further back in the pack. Fine if you don’t want to call them victims. But surely you can acknowledge that they start out with far fewer resources and support.
I think we all know that people are NOT born equal. Many have to overcome many more hardships than others. In fact as parents, we try not to have our kids encounter soul-crushing hardships early in life, but think it builds character for them to overcome SOME adversity. A lot depends on where folks live as well. If one doesn’t have as much racial prejudice where they live or attended college, it could change if they moved to a different part of the US or another country, for example.
Here’s another ridiculous measure:
Pretty darn parochial & condescending to assume people in the US who use other than english at home as their primary language, must be poor wetbacks.
I know plenty of 0.1% wealthy immigrants who use English as a second, third, fourth language.
“dadoftwingirls and @busdriver11 Just wondering why the reluctance to acknowledge that some people start the race from so much further back in the pack. Fine if you don’t want to call them victims. But surely you can acknowledge that they start out with far fewer resources and support”
I’m not sure why my post would indicate reluctance to acknowledge that some people start the race further back in the pack. Of course they do. But I think the people who start the farthest back, no matter what criteria that they meet, are the ones who have decided they are victims. I may have started the race back further than some, but it’s only a mental block, not a physical one—and only if you allow it to control your life. I don’t think that is controversial whatsoever.
Sure, she started from further back, but look at where she is TODAY. That survey would make her out to be less privileged TODAY than the avg white guy-- once a victim, always a victim.