And OSU? And UNC?
You asked, so… she should learn to love UGA. I think most flagships offer a good education for a good price. If she prefers Alabama to UGA and they are the same price AND you can afford that price, then give the option. Just because she ‘likes’ Ohio State doesn’t make it $40k better. It doesn’t seem that there is a reason for a particular school because of a special program or that one of the schools you listed is heads and shoulders above the others for psychology or biology, so I don’t think OSU or UF or even UNC is worth paying twice as much as UGA would cost. If you can afford it, sure, let her go wherever she likes, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
I agree that all your kids don’t have to have the same college experience, but usually parents want to provide a similar experience. I really wanted my kids to be able to have the ‘4 year sleep away college’ experience, and NOT have to transfer because they’d had to transfer high school three times. Stability was important. While I offered my kids the same budget, each was able to do what she wanted because of her talents. One can go to an expensive private school because she had good grades (merit scholarships), earned an athletic scholarship, and we found a school where that worked for her. What did she give up? Location (she’d have preferred California), prestige (goes to a school few have heard of), size (wanted a little bigger). But it was the best choice for her. Her sister had fewer options to stay in budget, but she’s a lot easier to please. Neither expected any college to be perfect and weighed all kinds of factors, but money was a big factor and did bump some schools off the list.
@GnocchiB I agree. It is likely very similar.
The differences at Alabama would be
- She’s in the Honors College, so there is hope of some smaller class sizes, research opportunities, and possibly better interactions with professors.
- They will let her use her full tuition scholarship for 8 full semesters, so if she graduates early (which in theory she should with her AP/IB credits) she can use any remaining semesters for grad school. Very unique as most schools don’t allow this.
- Though the campus is also large and spread out, the bus system ran very efficiently and timely.
- She didn’t feel like the area around campus was as completely inundated with bars the way UGA is. Though we have no doubt that kids can drink their fare share here, at least there aren’t 60 bars within walking distance.
Aha. I’ve seen the UGA campus but not Alabama’s. It does sound like a better fit for your D than UGA.
I can guarantee you…there are plenty of bars within walking distance of the Ohio State University.
Yes, we saw several bars around OSU. However, it didn’t feel like there were a disproportionate number of bars to restaurants and other retail venues the way UGA did.
What put her off about UGA was that bars were such a major focus of the city area around campus. There were far more bars than restaurants, coffee shops, clothing shops, etc. The area right across from North campus at UGA felt like nightclub/bar central. In the admission session before the tour her junior year, the admission brochure given to us by UGA had a 2 and a half page long listing for bars in Athens. She looked at me and said “Mom, why did they print this in their admissions guides? These are aimed at kids that are in high school. Most students aren’t of legal age to drink until they are college seniors.” How do you answer that as a parent? I felt it was quite inappropriate myself.
Bars serve food and most have some sort of music or other entertainment besides alcohol.
Do you want your kid eating in a smoky bar or being exposed to this “other entertainment”? Isn’t the entertainment at college bars usually girls dancing on the bar, bar fights, watching people make an a** of themselves, watching a game on the big TV (which they can do in the student union), or watching a band play (I’d rather buy her concert tickets). She isn’t comfortable in this atmosphere, and I am very grateful for that.
That’s good, but do you have a plan?
Have you started a 401K and if so are you at least putting aside the maximum your employer will match? If you keep to your plan, how much can you still afford to pay per year for this child, then for 4 or 5 more?
Without knowing more about your situation, I’d probably be leaning toward Alabama.
Maybe TOSU if you’re confident about your income security and retirement plan.
Take UNC off the table.
Take Troy State off too (unless you’re really worried about income security or haven’t started on retirement savings.)
Seriously? You think there are skimpy dancers and smoking in the bars? Most of them have NO smoking. The entertainment is usually local bands, not strippers.
I recently went back to my college town…and it was fabulous. Main Street is lined with fabulous pubs, microbreweries, bars, restaurants, nightclubs. Very vibrant…and fun. I’ve been to a number of college bars with my kids…and never saw anyone dancing on the bar, never saw a fight. The bands were terrific (my son is a musician who plays in some of,these).
And wonderful the students who are old enough to drink…can walk there.
I think you have a big misconception of what college town bars and clubs are like. HUGE.
Plus…with the number of students at UGA, your daughter can find like minded students who prefer a more sedate lifestyle.
@tk21769 Yes, we both have 401k’s with a total of $310,000 between the two of us. We have done the max contributions each year, and will continue to do this once she is in college (and until retirement). We own several pieces of commercial real estate with equity, and we have a comfortable liquid savings (100k).
We won’t be paying for any of the kids grad schools - that will be on them. We will help them with undergrad. If lifestyle adjustments need to be made, they will come from travel expenses and vacations - that is an area that we spend a great deal of money each year.
Honestly, no. The only bar I’ve ever been in (and I’ve been in a lot) where girls danced on the bar was Coyote Ugly, and that’s the theme of the bar. Bar fights? Never. Making an a$$ of themselves? Well that happens every day, whether the bar is near a college or not.
If they are true bars, then no one under 21 will be allowed in anyway. If they are restaurants/sports bars, they’ll have times that underaged students can’t be in there without a parent but other times when it is fine to go in and get a burger and watch basketball. Last night my daughter went to a bar/restaurant with her friends to celebrate a birthday. I ate lunch in this same bar last week. No one danced on the tables.
I think the social life on all the big schools you named (UF, UGA, OSU, UA) will all be similar. Big parties at frats and tailgates on game days, lots of frat parties for halloween and St Patrick’s Day. Lots of students going to class, eating pizza and burgers on and off campus, lots of students making fools of themselves.
I am willing to admit that I could be wrong. These are stories we’ve heard from her college friends and that my husband shared from his college days. I’m sure it varies greatly by the area and the school. And I definitely didn’t mean the girls were strippers - more like flirty and attention seeking, but fully clothed. D’s friends have shared some very interesting stories and pictures on instagram of the “bar entertainment” they’ve personally experienced.
“Isn’t the entertainment at college bars usually girls dancing on the bar, bar fights, watching people make an a** of themselves”
Erm, no. Not the bars I’ve been at. (Yes to watching sports and live music.)
Granted, I haven’t been to bars in the South.
Unfortunately, the stories I’ve heard came from Athens, GA, Oxford, MS, Statesboro, GA, and Troy, AL. All in the south. 
Which is a nod to what she and I hope will be different at OSU.
I was bar tender in a college bar back in the Stone Age. I can assureen, you…even then we did not dance on the tables or flirt and seek attention.
To be honest…the worst behaved were the fathers on Fathers weekend!
I think you are misinformed.
Two summers ago I went to a great bar adjacent to the OSU campus. No skimpy dressed girls.
my DD is in college in GA. Not UGA…but GA. No dancing girls there either.
My son went to grad school in NC. No dancing girls there either.
Georgiacollegemom- I actually disagree with some of the other posters (with whom I usually agree) and think that avoiding a rowdy and pervasive bar culture is an excellent reason for looking further afield than your own state college system. Agree with you on that.
Where I disagree with you is the solution to the problem. If you were looking at a bunch of nerdier/“where fun goes to die” type of schools, it would be worth a comparison of the prevailing culture, where do the kids who don’t want to drink hang out, etc.
But to compare Georgia to Ohio and expect a markedly different outcome, i think that’s crazy. Both schools have kids who spend their free time collecting socks for the homeless, raising money for a service trip to Honduras to build an orphanage, kids who are majoring in the arts and love performing (and watching). And I think bigger schools are a better bet at avoiding the drinking culture- just because if 10% of kids on a 50,000 student campus don’t drink, that’s 5,000 kids doing other things. If it’s 10% of kids at a 2,000 student campus, that’s only 200 kids and maybe your D will find her peeps and maybe she won’t.
How aggressive is your D about seeking out her own recreation/entertainment options or does she end up in a gang doing something she doesn’t want to do? How much experience does she have navigating new social situations- and spending a weekend alone occasionally?
I would have been miserable at a party-hearty type of college (I avoided enough stupid behavior in HS, and it was the '70’s so believe me- there was stupid behavior) so I sympathize with you. But Ohio is not BYU, and I don’t think the cultures are all that dissimilar.
I haven’t been to OSU in 30+ years, and I’ve never been to Alabama but I think one would find the drinking and bar scene pretty comparable between OSU, 'Bama and UGA (and Carolina). It’s fine if your D is picking one school over another for scholarship/honors college/pricing reasons but I think it’s ludicrous to pretend that bars/restaurants and the behavior therein are different among those schools. At none of those schools will your D be forced against her will to go to a bar, and she can always block friends on social media if posts about bars are not what she wants to see.
I agree with @blossom who I think thinks I don’t agree!
I just think you are making your decisions on false assumptions. And wherever you daughter goes, she will find like minded folks. If she isn’t drinker or party person, she will find her tribe.
I really do appreciate the feedback. It is helpful to have people who aren’t so close to the situation weigh in.
@blossom Another factor is that Georgia is going to be loaded with kids that she knows - kids that have been eagerly awaiting the chance to be free and party with her. There was a whole friend group of people devastated on GroupMe when she informed them that she had no desire to go to UGA. Many made comments such as “we were supposed to party the next 4 years together” “frat parties will suck without you” and the like. She showed them to me and said “see mom, that’s one of the reasons I don’t want to go to UGA”.
She is strong in her beliefs and she doesn’t want to be exposed to some of what happens in the “party scene” (drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, smoking). She’s not the type at all to shame anyone for their choices, but she doesn’t want to go down the wrong road herself. She’s not a nerd or a recluse. She’s more of a clean fun kind of kid. For example: after a recent school dance, a group of her friends arranged a party and had everyone chip in for a keg. She came to me and said “_____ is having a party and there is going to be alcohol there so I’m not going. I just wanted you to know that I heard about it.” That’s just the kind of kid she is. She tells us what happens in her friend group.
That is a good point about large schools presenting more potential for other kids that are like minded.
And (maybe naively) I am hoping that the effort involved to put on 3 layers of clothing to go out Ohio will be an additional deterrent for a cold southern girl to go out and party (at least from late Oct - late March).