My first name is unusual and middle name common, especially as a middle name (not Ann but similar). I was named after my two grandmothers. There was a popular song with my name in it so older men often sang the first line to me. There were also a popular rhyme and TV show with a version of the name. Thankfully, all those references have faded away due to age. Interestingly, each of my 3 kids had a classmate with my name. Otherwise, very uncommon.
My kids all have traditional names, although not the most popular of the day. However, my middle kid ended up with four other kids with the same name in his elementary school. All three have nicknames and use them. I am happy with their names.
DH has a name that was unusual when he was a kid but just looked and it is currently near the top of the boy name lists! He uses a nickname that is not associated with his actual first name.
It is interesting to see names we thought we thought old fashioned and not “pretty” when we were having babies become super popular now. And names of our childhood friends now completely out of favor. Wonder if names like Linda, Susan, Donna, Nancy or Carol will ever make a comeback!
My childhood friend had the same name (first, middle, last) as one of our HS classmates. We identified her as “the other xxxx”.
I could write a book on this topic. My parents were immigrants from Yugoslavia (now Croatia) who met and married in the US. My mother gave me an ethnic name, but one that wasn’t Croatian. Go figure?
I started using my middle name when I was in college and just used my first initial, for example, X. Susan Smith. My husband’s last name was much easier to pronounce than mine, so I happily changed it when we got married.
I retired a few years ago and found out Medicare wouldn’t accept
X. Susan Smith. I had to use my first name. Whenever I checked in for an appointment, I’d tell the receptionist I never use my first name, I use my middle name. The receptionist at my PCP’s office, put a note in the file saying: patient prefers X name. No one read the note, because people kept using my first name.
That’s when I decided to legally change my name. One of my closest friends is a divorce lawyer and she agreed to do the legal work pro bono (I promised her a week at our vacation place.)
Getting the legal document was a hassle, because I had to gather the necessary documents, but the part that was extremely time-consuming was changing my driver’s license, Social Security, Medicare and Medicare supplement, bank accounts, investment account, credit cards, etc. Some folks wanted all the documentation, others wanted very little. It was crazy.
I have a long first, middle and last. My rule was that I wanted to give my kids names that would fit in the boxes on a form.
After not naming my daughter a certain name because I liked the alternative spelling and not the common one, I was floored when the nurse asked me how to spell the name we had settled on (I really can’t imagine any other spelling, but the nurse said people get very “creative”). I’ve been asked more than once how to spell it by people entering it into forms, but I guess it’s just a common question now.
I have to say that my married last name is so straight forward (two commonly used words put together) that no one ever mispells or misprounces it.
Our school has now added voice files for each child so that we know we are pronouncing the name correctly.
I have a friend and a student from a culture that uses “generation names” where all of the children have similar names. My friend was one of 3 all in high school at the same time. We differentiated by calling them Kyung, Kyunger, and Kyungest. My student’s family chose “American” names for the kids to go by, rather than their given ethnic names, but they are all variations of the same name.
I’m a teacher and one of the first things I do every year is look at the kindergarten rosters to see what the “new” names are.
My (Step)MIL’s family took great pride in their Irish ancestry yet insisted they had never heard of DS’s fairly common Irish name before and kept calling him by other names as his name was “so new to them”.
Just like they had never heard of the name Brian when his uncle was named (I’m guessing around 1960).
My spouse, his father, and DS all have the same two first names. Think something like Billy Ray.
Grandpa would often go by “Bill” even though his real name was Billy.
Spouse always went by Billy.
Kid went by Billy Ray until he had to start writing his name on assignments, at which point he decided to become Billy so he wouldn’t have to write a second word out. So the family and longtime friends still think of him as Billy Ray, but now he’s Billy at school and to friends who’ve only known him since then.
I was surprised to meet a 5 year old Susan recently.
When I told a cousin that D now goes by another name she was aghast. She went on a rant about how she would never allow her D to change her name because she and her husband had so carefully considered and selected the name. I deadpanned, “It’s new-name’s choice.” Later another relative informed the cousin that my D’s new name hadn’t come out of the blue, it is her middle name. The cousin still made it clear to me that my D using anything other than her given first name was disrespectful to me. What? I rather like the middle name, and it suits her.
After 30+ years of marriage a couple of my in-laws still misspell my very simple name, going with a less common variation. The name was uncommon when I was young but is more popular now.
My married name is simple and a common word. There’s one joke that everyone always says when they hear it when we meet. It’s hard not to say sarcastically, “Wow, you’re the first person who has ever said that to me!” So I try not to make jokes with names, ha.
My original last name has a Hebrew root. Grandfather in the early 1900’s changed suffix “vitch” to prefix “Ben,” both indicating “son of.” Grandfather then dropped the Ben and I spent the first 35 years of my life correcting the spelling anyway. Husband’s grandfather dropped “blat” at the end and added an “e”. So I spent the next 30+ years and continuing saying, “e at the end.” I didn’t change my last name until son was born because I thought we should all have the same last name. But I changed my middle name to my maiden name because it defined me. And I didn’t like my original middle name anyway.
My name here is my real name because it was the first website where I set up an avatar and I didn’t know any better. And it does get misspelled even though it’s the classic spelling. I become Maryland more often than I’d like. My favorite fun way to spell it is Merry Lynne.
I have 2 sons. One I named and always called by his “real” name. The other I named a longer name, but always used a shorter version. Now the first uses a nickname with friends, and the second uses the longer/real first name. If they’re happy, I’m happy.
I mentioned my Italian family name is unusual. But it is fairly common in the area where I grew up.
So I was surprised at my HS awards assembly when a school administrator (who had been at the school for several years) mispronounced my last name so badly I didn’t recognize it!
Between me, my siblings and cousins there were 6 people with that last name in the previous 5 years at that school.
At graduation a few weeks later our class president was able to pronounce every name correctly.
My first name is Irish and my maiden name Italian. First name is not popular, but it’s not often heard and is regularly misspelled. My maiden name originated in a small village on an island and only a handful of us in the U.S. (all directly related to me). Though it is easy to pronounce, it was never spelled correctly. I forever had to spell my first and last name growing up. When I married dh, I mistakenly thought his somewhat common Irish last name would finally relieve me of always having to spell it - except I hadn’t really thought about how there are several variations of the spelling. I rarely correct anyone unless the situation warrants a correct spelling.
My four kids have traditional/old fashioned names but only one of them has one that is somewhat common. He was named for both of my grandfathers altho paternal grandfather had the Italian variation of it.
I planned for my kids to have easy names to spell, and for the most part they do. My oldest tho, who looks Italian, often has people change her name to the Italian version which is one letter different. Drove her crazy growing up! My youngest goes by a shortened version of her name, one that is pronounced the same but has two spellings. People always seem to spell it the other way even tho my daughter’s spelling is the same spelling as her given name, just shorter, while the other is more phonetic, if that makes sense.
When we go out to eat or get carryout, I always give either my husband’s or my son’s first name as both are short and easy to spell. They get annoyed, but neither realize it gets old when the person looks at me quizzically like, “uh, how do you spell that?” Easier to just skip that step!
At the last school where I worked, I was the person who announced names as our graduates walked across the stage. My predecessor took the job very seriously, so I continued the tradition. Each graduate had to come to my office to pronounce their entire name for me, and I wrote it out phonetically, with appropriate accents. Pronouncing Chinese names was very challenging for me, but I worked really hard to manage - students would instruct me on how to hold my mouth and what to do with my tongue. The big surprise for me, though, was the number of domestic students whose names everyone had mispronounced for the entire two years of the program … I would ask why they never corrected anyone, and they’d just say that it always happens. I considered it an honor to finally pronounce their names correctly at Commencement.
@kelsmom Thank you for doing this. I know it is a difficult responsibility and appreciate that you took the time to really try to get it right.
I didn’t mention in my post above, but my daughter’s name, as straightforward as can be, was pronounced incorrectly at her college graduation, even tho they had a form with the phonetic spelling given to the announcer before they walked across the stage. The woman changed my daughter’s name to the Italian/Spanish version. My daughter was FURIOUS! Dh’s remark was “how much did we spend on her college education and the announcer could not pronounce a very simple five letter name?” This was during Covid where her last 18 months of college were remote but they allowed an outdoor graduation at the last minute - we flew across the country and her moment was ruined. I laugh about it now, but it was definitely upsetting!
So the family and longtime friends still think of him as Billy Ray, but now he’s Billy at school and to friends who’ve only known him since then.