<p>Even if she was sitting in the middle seat between two complete strangers, the way seats are designed and the spacing, the only way anyone would have really seen much is if they made and sustained a physical effort to look. I never have any idea at all what the person next to me is doing outside of the obvious things that come into my field of vision - using items like laptops etc. on their tray table for example. I’m quite certain I would not notice if a person sitting next to me was breastfeeding - UNLESS I got very obsessed with their activities.</p>
<p>Most people on planes are into their reading material, working, sleeping, socializing with their traveling companions, etc. - hard to see how breast feeding could have been an intrusion or offensive to anyone. </p>
<p>“Adult feeding” on planes is far more intrusive and annoying, if the person is masticating like an animal and getting food debris all over everyone else.</p>
<p>I can’t believe this is still an issue. My wife would occasionally get nasty looks when she nursed (discreetly) our now-20-year-old in public places, but fairly infrequently. Our parents were of the bottle-is-better generation, and they saw breastfeeding as declasse, but that cohort is pretty old and used to changing mores by now.</p>
I wasn’t trying to “assume any facts”…what I said was based more on sheer incredulity of the event being attributed solely to breastfeeding. Sorry if it seemed that I was trying to in any way excuse the behavior of the flight attendant. Her behavior was, in fact, inexcusable.</p>
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Your wife and I must have been breastfeeding during the same year(s) <em>lol</em> as I have a nearly 20-year-old son also. I don’t recall getting any dirty looks EVER, but I did make every reasonable effort to be discreet (no blankets, though)…My point is, I don’t remember much opposition to public breastfeeding, even twenty years ago, though it only takes one or two jerks to give the impression.</p>
<p>I always wonder why it is acceptable for breasts (even grotesquely altered ones) to be shown for sexual purposes - just look at the magazines in the grocery store aisle - but not for feeding a baby. The phony puritans in this country.</p>
<p>I spent a whole lotta years breastfeeding, too, and lived in horror of offending someone. I knew which stores had a lounge with armchairs (not many) and where the shady spots were in every parking lot. If I could do it all over again, I’d breastfeed everywhere I went (as is my right in the state of New York) and let the uptight folks worry about themselves.</p>
<p>“Discreet” breastfeeding is so often a matter of highly individualized definition. Most women quickly learn to pull up their shirts from the waist - with the baby latched on there’s nothing to see. (And who’s looking, anyway?) Even those women who open their shirts from the neckline have a fair amount of coverage provided by the baby. And I have never seen a woman completely disrobe to breastfeed in public. What bothers many people is the mere idea of a woman breastfeeding in public, however much they may say that they wouldn’t mind at all if she’d just use a blanket, for pete’s sake …</p>
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Hm. I have never been able to see how infant feeding is comparable to those other “natural, normal moments.” Are adults supposed to eat under a blanket, too?</p>
<p>Even women who are breastfeeding “discreetly” have been harassed, often to the ultimate dismay of the harasser, once the lawyers get involved. A few years ago a cop in Connecticut gave a woman a hard time for nursing her baby in her car. Most states have breastfeeding legislation in place that does indeed permit mothers to nurse their babies in public. Here’s a listing by state: <a href=“http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/LawBills.html[/url]”>http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/LawBills.html</a></p>
<p>I can usually find plenty of other things to look at in a public place.</p>
<p><<“Adult feeding” on planes is far more intrusive and annoying, if the person is masticating like an animal and getting food debris all over everyone else.>></p>
<p>Breastfeeding is different from these other functions because there is a less desirable alternative – formula feeding – and nobody objects to people doing it in public. If a breastfeeding woman cannot comfortably feed her child in public, she must choose between 1) switching to formula feeding, which is less healthful for both her and the baby; or 2) restricting her life, her baby’s life, and in some instances, the lives of other family members (such as siblings) in order to arrange her life in such a way that she doesn’t have to breastfeed in public. </p>
<p>If our society is really committed to the well-being of babies, we should not be forcing nursing mothers to make this type of choice. We should be creating situations that are supportive of breastfeeding, rather than situations that make it difficult.</p>
<p>The blanket-over-the-baby trick does not work with many older babies, who will simply fuss and refuse to nurse until they are freed from it. The hiding-in-discreet-corners strategy does not work when the mom and baby are accompanied by the baby’s older sibling(s), who need to entertain themselves or eat their own meal while the youngest family member is fed. </p>
<p>Breastfeeding is not elimination. It is not sex. It is not personal grooming. It is simply a person eating. We are mammals. This is what mammals do.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, during my recent 9 hour experience of sharing non-stop breastfeeding on a plane:
The breast was absolutely visible after the first few hours. She was whipping that thing around in desparation, in fact.<br>
Breastfeeding is an intimate act. Sharing 9 hours of intimacy with a stranger and her unhappy child while you are strapped into a sardine can is not an altogether comfortable experience. The mother was completely frazzled.
Her front row seat was directly behind the business class seats ($3500 each) yet no one complained or even mildly rebuked her with foul looks. The FAs were ever helpful and solicitous. In my experience, pills may or may not work on long-haul flights.</p>
<p>What other options were available to that mother, I wonder? It’s certainly difficult to share 9 hours with a mother and her unhappy child in close quarters, as you say - but it’s even more difficult to be the mother under those circumstances. Presuming that she had to travel with her infant (and couldn’t have driven or postponed the trip until the kid was weaned), what else could she have done during that time to make the flight more comfortable for those around her? Frequent nursing was probably her best option. Bottlefeeding babies are difficult on flights, too - I’ve seen plenty of 'em. And an unhappy nursing baby who wants to nurse for comfort and familiarity isn’t going to be happy under an unfamiliar blanket or (an option I thankfully haven’t yet seen proposed on this thread) with an unfamiliar bottle. </p>
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But why do folks have to look? I ignore strangers in public places all the time - makes for a more pleasant trip!</p>
<p>“Sharing 9 hours of intimacy with a stranger and her unhappy child while you are strapped into a sardine can is not an altogether comfortable experience. The mother was completely frazzled.”</p>
<p>Agreed, but I’d a hundred times prefer the nursing to the child screaming, which is the likely alternative. Anything that keeps babies quieter on long flights is A-OK with me. At any rate, it’s been my experience that when I’m trying to fall asleep, my eyes are usually shut. Therefore, the appearance of my fellow passengers is of little importance.</p>
<p>I will never forget a flight attendant who noticed I was nursing my then-9 month-old daughter (now 19 yrs!) before take off and commented, “too bad she’s not a boy, that would put him right to sleep.” What? Somehow people have got to learn to separate sex and feeding a baby!</p>
<p>Agreed, but I’d a hundred times prefer the nursing to the child screaming, which is the likely alternative</p>
<p>pretty much
My kids were quiet when nursing-
I dont’ remember being out and about much in public with oldest- when nursing- but youngest, I had nursed her in a booth at a restaurant and I am sure no one noticed.
I have nursed her ( when I wasnt driving) when stuck on a bridge or freeway- she often started screaming when we would stop moving & I would simply just whip it out and hang it over her car seat to the apparently amused glances of passersby.
WHen I think of the things that annoy me or that I just care not to think about re public behavior- nursing isnt in the top 20.
what about those who apparently don’t care if their pants are halfway down their a$$ and their stomach hangs over.
Body odor- is a biggie-
um- cell phones?
so many people carry on conversations so loudly apparently not caring that they are not alone.</p>
<p>I think it is great that moms are nursing- it makes such a difference to the baby & it is much less work for the flight attendant than if they had to help fix a bottle </p>
<p>I don’t understand why this is even an issue in a day and age when we have naked pregnant actors on magazine covers- when we have basically anything goes on primetime tv- to get your knickers in a twist about a child being fed
focus on the family guys</p>
<p>I am all for breast feeding. I think it’s great. I have seen it done discreetly enough times to believe it is possible. Properly made clothes usually provide enough “discretion.” A light scarf can be used; It doesn’t have to be a wool blanket draped over the kid’s face. HOWSOMEWHATEVER, I was recently pushed to my limit when we were on vacation at a restaurant for lunch and a woman (friend of my sister, not our friend) whipped out her bazoongie to feed her 1 year old directly across from me at the table. I told me wife, “Let’s eat by ourselves tomorrow!”</p>
<p>I thought I heard on the news that the “baby” was 20 something months? Perhaps that’s what contributed to the discomfort some of the passengers may have felt. I’m thinking perhaps some people might feel there is a difference between breastfeeding an almost-toddler and breastfeeding an infant.</p>
<p>HH may be on to something here (;)). I think people’s squeamish meter raises exponentially the older the breastfeeding child is. I nursed both my kids, and must confess that even I, proponent of breastfeeding that I am, was slightly aghast when I saw a four or five year old boy walk up to his mother, pick up her shirt, and announce, “I need boobie”.</p>
<p>More people need to realize that the experts recommend breastfeeding for at least a year – and that there’s no particular need to wean a child right after the first birthday. Nursing a toddler is a normal, healthy practice, and there’s really no reason why a mother breastfeeding a toddler should be any more horrifying to passersby than a mother breastfeeding a newborn.</p>
<p>One of my kids nursed until she was two months short of her third birthday, and she is apparently quite free from bizarre sexual perversions (or at least she conceals them effectively, which is another indication of normalcy in a teenager).</p>
<p>You’re probably right. I’m a little creeped out when I see that kind of thing; I wonder, if 5 is ok, what about 7? 10? That being said, just because I find something creepy does not mean that I would complain about it, either to the offender or to a staff member in a plane or restaurant. I would not.</p>
<p>Here’s a story about extremely upsetting parental behavior my family witnessed across the aisle on a plane. THIS is the kind of thing we ought to be complaining about:</p>
<p>Mom, dad, 8 yo D, 6 yo son, and 4 yo son sat in the five-across center row of a transatlantic flight IN THAT ORDER, with the parents far away from the littlest ones. They brought no toys or games for the children whatsoever except for Game Boys. The flight was delayed on the tarmac for about an hour, and passengers were not allowed to use electronic devices. The two little boys, who couldn’t read, were very understandably going berserk strapped into their chairs without anything to do, and the parents ignored them. The 8 yo girl finally found a pen and a magazine for her littlest brother to draw with.</p>
<p>During, the 4 yo spilled his glass of water all over himself. He cried, “Daddy, I spilled!” Daddy said (and I quote): “Not my problem!” and kept eating his dinner. The 8 yo sister stepped in once again to try to mop up the little boy.</p>
<p>Where’s the hue and cry over that kind of disgusting display? Why aren’t THOSE parents carried off the plane in handcuffs? Give me the nursing mom, every time.</p>
Her behavior was, in fact, inexcusable.</p>