What schools should I look at? NJ Resident, 92 UW GPA, 1280 SA, undecided major, maybe public health or political science

College Search & Lists
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Honestly, I fully understand the desire to have a path figured out, but you’re worrying too much about having everything nailed down, and about having an extracurricular resume that fits this plan. If you end up deciding to go to law school, that’s great, but you 100% do not need to have law-related EC’s in high school! You don’t have to major in anything law or public health related, either. A sociology major, for example, would lay a great foundation for either public health or law.

Have you learned about the concepts of convergent vs. divergent thinking? Both are necessary and important to the long arc of a decision process, but it seems as if maybe you find divergent thinking anxiety-provoking, and really, really like convergent thinking that brings you to a clear conclusion. The problem is that if you don’t become comfortable with uncertainty in a way that lets you explore and think divergently, you may miss out on some of the best ideas you might have come up with for your future!

I’m not saying that public health and law are bad ideas. They’re great ideas, and I think it’s terrific that you’re exploring these possibilities. But you don’t have to have a firm decision now, or even when you start college. It would be more than fine to frame it as, “I don’t know exactly what role I want to play in the future, but I know that I want to work to correct racial inequities, possibly in the context of health care. So I want a college education that will give me a strong background in why those inequities exist, and what interventions work best to combat them.” You literally don’t need to know more than that until after you get to college!

There’s no need to “take a lot of legal classes over the summer,” at all. I can’t even figure out what kind of “legal classes” are available to high school students, that would be useful. Volunteering at a health care facility, just to get real-world experience, would be as useful or more so.

And the schools you were already considering would still be fine!! Certainly Howard and Spelman both have multiple majors that would prepare you extremely well for either of these paths, or for another path you haven’t thought of yet. Drexel has an undergrad public health major, which isn’t necessary to pursue a public health career, but it would likely get you co-op placements that could give you great perspective on what you’d like to do. Agnes Scott also has a fantastic undergrad public health major, in cooperation with Emory, that gives a head start on grad-level public health coursework (maybe that would be a selling point for your mom). (Also, public health law is a thing as well, so it’s not either-or.) I don’t see anything about your shift in perspective that disqualifies any of the schools you were thinking about; if anything, the “fit” of your existing list got better!

You’re doing great - don’t worry so much :slight_smile: Try to think divergently - brainstorm multiple ideas, even if they’re mutually exclusive - now isn’t the time for narrowing down, but for embracing many different possibilities.

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The sites kind of confusing but I’m going to do more research on this on google when I’m less fried.

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^ this is meant to be a hug.

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I just need some form of control, even if I do change my mind. I don’t know if this makes sense. I searched up the convergent and that sounds about right.

Like intro to law, intro to political science, social minorities in America, etc

I’m going to volunteer and shadow at a hospital I have it set up already.

My mom is kinda being negative towards Howard becuase she thinks it’s “ghetto” I’m gonna try to push for it and she approves it but as a bare minimum. Also Drexel is 35 min and I’m trying to go as close to no contact as I can because of my situation. Drexel is such a good school so that kinda makes me sad. A lot of my senior friends are going there.

I’m trying to think differently but my brain will literally explode. It’s been only on flight/freeze for so long :sob:. I’m genuinely trying not to stress but she keeps bringing up college and she’s always saying how negative I am for doubting getitng into an Ivy.

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Thank you. Hugs too

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I’m sorry you’re under such stress.

As far as the Ivy thing… I feel like maybe you just need a decoy plan. Pick an Ivy or two that you wouldn’t mind going to if a miracle occurred. Apply to those and let your mom fixate on them. But put your own emotional energy into the more likely schools that you also have to have on your list. The great likelihood is that the Ivy issue will take care of itself, so debating it ahead of time is a waste of time and stress. According to Mom, it’s in God’s hands… so tell her you’re praying to get into [fill-in-the-blank Ivy] and let the outcome be between Mom and God. :slight_smile: Meanwhile, get excited about what you’ll do if/when God doesn’t produce an Ivy offer.

I understand that this kind of pretense is very difficult for you, and that’s to your credit. But it could really save you a lot of pain if you could put up a boundary and let the praying-for-an-Ivy thing play out on the other side of that emotional wall. :mending_heart:

Hang in there. It really is okay to have a “plan of record” - just try to hold it lightly and be open to other possibilities too.

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it’s just her bringing it up and if she’s not bringing an Ivy up she’s yelling at me. It just stresses me out in general when she talks so maybe I’m biased lol. I already have backup places I think I’ll look into and I’ll def look into Agnes Scott as well.

I’m genuinely trying to do everything in my power to distance myself even trying grey rocking. Literally nothing works because she’ll push further into that boundary.

I’m stressed in general and I’m not trying to get sick again or anything. She’s agreeing to not apply to many colleges like she originally intended but again that’s because she’s 100% sure I’m ending up at Barnard even preparing for it.

She’s also expressed me not wanting to go far away unless it’s like Stanford and I have no other options so :sob:. She literally just talked abt this to my uncle over the phone. Therefore I don’t even know if I can do places like university of Vermont anymore. Oh well

I told my mom she stressed me out but she got upset. I genuinely don’t know how to deal with my stress other than pulling on my box braids because of the tension (I ripped my hair out once :pensive:)

Everyone here is so so helpful though so I do appreciate you all. I’m genuinely trying to take your advice but it’s hard sometimes. I got this though. I talked my aunt and she went to Hunter and she’s really successful and she got to live her life and everything. She travels and does what she loves. Talking to her just now makes me feel a lot better.

Also, i was told by a teacher that if you’re not going to a T20 you should just go to community college or somewhere free. Is this reasonable? Or is there advantages to going to other schools

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Wut? LOL - did your teacher go to a T20, or “somewhere free?”

Half of handling life, IMHO, is learning to hold seemingly-conflicting truths in your head. In this case, the two conflicting truths are:

  1. When you’re an adolescent, adult advice is useful and in fact hard to get by without. But also
  2. At least half the advice given by adults in this world is really just about validating the life choices of the advice-giver.

I would say, view this teacher’s advice in light of Truth #2.

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Okay because I was like…that’s extreme? But I’ve heard other sentiments from other adults as well. Maybe that’s the common denominator that they all went to CC or somewhere free

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This would be very, very high on my list of advice to ignore.

There are a lot of very good universities in the US – definitely way, way more than 20 of them – that are very good and that can provide a very strong education. Finding a university that is a good fit for you should not be based on looking at university rankings.

You should be looking for universities that are a good fit for you, that you can afford to attend, and that have a good program in your intended or likely major(s).

And yes I do know many, many people who got their bachelor’s degrees at universities that are not in the top 20 and who have done very well in life. Some of them got graduate degrees at highly ranked universities, some did not.

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Or they have kids of their own that they couldn’t or wouldn’t pay for college for. Who knows, but yes, it’s extreme, and an irresponsible thing to be saying to students in one’s professional capacity as a teacher, IMHO.

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In the 80s and 90s, it was uncommon to attend a 4 year college. Not so much nowadays if you want a middle class lifestyle. Those who applied had admission chances kids nowadays can only dream of but it distorts their perspective.
In 1990, Harvard’s admission rates were 15%. Columbia? 32%. Uchicago: 48%. Almost everyone could get into Northeastern.
Nowadays, people talk about T40 and virtually all colleges on that list are as hard to get into as Harvard used to be back then. Howard’s acceptance rate is what Columbia’s used to be exactly 30 years ago. :wink:

I agree with @aquapt that the “advice” was baloney.
Even “If you dont get into a college with a 48% acceptance rate go to cc” isn’t very good advice :partying_face: - there are 3,700 colleges in the US. Even the top 10% would be about 375.
Basically 375 colleges are better than CC for you.

Btw, buy a Princeton review’s Best Colleges.
Depending on how you read your mother (her reactions,curiosity…) you can try this:
Progressively bookmark one of Brown, Barnard, Howard, Spelman, and Agnes Scott. Leave it on the couch, bookmark one more a couple days later, leave it again but on a side table,etc. Hopefully your mom will flip through it. And when she asks, answer with your “bookmarked college”, straight from the guidebook.

In any case read the rest of the book for yourself and don’t bookmark the others so you can keep that private. Make the list for yourself, don’t bring it up, it’s yours to keep and yours only for now.

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Sample of four.

I didn’t go to a T 20 school or a free school or a CC. I had a very successful career!

My DH went to a college that is poorly ranked, but his department was good. He had a very successful career as an engineer.

DS didn’t go to a T 20 or a free school or a community college. He is a self supporting freelance musician.

DD didn’t go to a T 20 or a free school or a community college and she successfully completed professional school and is doing quite well.

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My aunt was telling me that your graduate school matters a lot more but she would say internships and on the field experience over that even. What do you think of that?

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Ah, I see. My teachers are kind of weird especially as they are obsessed with rank and whose valedictorian and they turn it into a game. My schools not even competitive like that :sob:

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Not going to lie, I regret being an unfertilized egg. I shoudlve applied to Harvard. That was just me slacking off i guess. But seriously, what happened? How does it just jump from 30% to like 2?

I also never looked at the top 375 thing like that. Thank you :slight_smile:

I don’t have access to money but sometimes i send the online version of the Princeton review ranking or something

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Congrats to all of you :heart:

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Big question! Answer too long for now… but worth investigating if you’re interested.
Key point is that people who went to college in the 1990s have a very distorted view of college admissions.

Hm, I wonder if there’s one you could borrow at your public library or your school library?

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My dad put me under so much debt at the public one and my school doesn’t rlly have books on that matter.

Talking to my aunt and uncle today made me feel better because I think they can convince my mom that a non ivy is acceptable to go to. They’re a lot more lax in terms of colleges. I know my uncle is particular anti PWI due to things like classism and racism and tried to push Howard for my mom today

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Just so you understand. Many people (for some strange reason) look down at comunity colleges. Here is the surprise for you. First of all, CCs are not all the same. Some are really great and can be amazing step to save money and have guaranteed transfer to state flagship with cirtain GPA benchmark.
I have 3 kids and all of them took classes in our CC. I know several extremely smart kids who graduated from UMD after our local CC.
I have seen level of classes that my kids took in CC from advanced CS classes to Differential Equations and Physics 3. They were not easy classes. Most teachers are teaching at the same time at UMD, GW, American University, or Georgetown and our local CC… so standards are very high and students are very smart. The only difference is that these students decide to save money for first two years. So no, CC is absolutely not the end of the world…

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