My friend goes there and loves it. I wish I could spam apply to smith, Agnes Scott, and all those women’s colleges. I’m not tryna raise a red flag to my mom thougu
Well, red flags aside, women’s colleges are a great way to get more reputational bang for your acceptance-rate buck, just by virtue of cutting the potential applicant pool in half (or less-than-half, when you take out all of the women who don’t like the single-gender idea). The fact that you also like the idea makes it all that much better. Maybe you could apply to more of them than you admit, and then only mention your top-choice acceptances at decision time…? Not that I want to encourage you to be sneaky… but it’s not as if you need a parent signature on every application.
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she’ll defintely want to see every detail, my essays word for word. I think you can view your application after submission so I doubt I can hide anything except if I go for an interview
If your mom is open to Howard, would she be open to Xavier University of Louisiana? XULA is the top HBCU for premed, and now they are even opening their own medical school.
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I’ll look into this school. I haven’t heard a whole lot about it.
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Yes, look into it. You would get in. It’s in New Orleans. It is THE premier school for pre-health sciences (not just premed, but also pharmacy, pre-dental, etc.) My dentist went there, as well as some of my doctor friends. Its graduates are very well prepared.
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Speaking of pre-health, Spelman offers this program:
Check out the “pride points” at the bottom, one of which links to their long list of early-assurance partner institutions.
I am moved to ask, though - is being premed on the “things that really come from you” side of the ledger, or the “things Mom wants” side? (Nothing wrong with either, I just can’t tell!)
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I got my master’s degree at Stanford (which I am assuming is considered “acceptable” by pretty much everyone’s parents). The other students in the same program had gotten their bachelor’s degree at a huge range of different universities. When I got my master’s, considering other students in the same program, there was only one university that I noticed which had sent more than one student into the program. Do you want to guess what university is was? It was Rutgers. I can assure you that the Rutgers graduates that I met when I was a graduate student at Stanford were all very smart.
I happen to have known multiple other Rutgers graduates. Some were coworkers. One was a former boss. Some are in-laws. They all have made Rutgers look very good.
Medical school is very expensive. You should try to avoid debt if you intend to be premed. Even better would be to save some $$ in the college fund for medical school.
However, there are a huge number of universities that are very good for premed. Rutgers is one of them. U.Conn is another, although I could not figure out why you or your mother would prefer it to Rutgers. There are many, many more.
Medical school is also a long and difficult path. It takes a lot of academic strength. However, determination and a desire to do it are probably just as important.
I am wondering if your mother would let you apply to Rutgers and one or two other in-state schools while you also apply to the list of reaches from your original post. Then you can wait and see what acceptances you get, and what they will cost for a full four years.
If your family or your mother own a few homes, then need based financial aid sounds like it is very unlikely. However, if you are serious about premed, then you really need to be planning to be able to afford medical school. If medical school doesn’t happen, then the money that you have saved is likely to be useful for other purposes (such as a master’s degree, or just continuing to own more houses).
Another issue is that the majority of students who start off as premed end up following some other path. There are quite a few other health care related options, but also quite a few premed students end up with other majors that are not health care related.
I was wondering the same thing.
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I don’t know. I think I can’t do anything else and I’m useless if in any other field.
I don’t know. I explained to her how Rutgers was supposed to be an ivy and how many people in my school get full rides and it’s just frustrating. I don’t think she’ll budge. I’ll find another safety ig. One she can’t drive to in a day. I really don’t want to see her and I plan to cut her off.
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Well, there’s a lot to unpack here.
First of all, there are many things you could do besides medicine, and it sounds as if you need some time and space to figure out what you actually find rewarding. Medical training is long, hard, extremely stressful and breathtakingly expensive. Not having a better idea is a terrible reason to commit to such a path. At this point, I’d suggest framing it as “I’d like to keep the option of med school open,” rather than thinking of it as your default plan. You have time to consider your options.
You mentioned wanting to go to Europe. Have you and your mom ever discussed the possibility, not of applying to colleges in Europe, but of doing a gap year program where you’d live with a host family and do an post-grad year of high school abroad, through AFS or a similar organization? You could still get apply to colleges next year, and choose one to attend, but defer for a year before starting. This would give you the change of scene and break from the parent/child dynamic that you’re feeling such a strong need for, but also give you time to think about what you want from your college education, before you’re in the middle of it. You’d have the support of a host family and a structured school situation, but you could take more electives, and take some time to consider what you want from your future (other than getting away!).
Maybe it would be a non-starter for your mom… but it’s a very well-established and reputable thing to do. I had friends who did exactly this, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Speaking as someone who rushed off to college, far more interested in getting away from home and figuring myself out than in “doing school”… a gap year would have been a very good idea for me… and the people I know who did it were very glad they did.
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Yeah we have. I’ve tried everything. She won’t let me move until I get married to a husband, which is also not what I want. I don’t like men. I don’t think I can be happy until I completely cut her off. My other interests are bland. I like marketing but I don’t know if I’ll enjoy doing that every day and feel like a bad person at thre end of it, I like writing a lot, thinking about ideas, psychology is fun but I know I could never have the mental capacity to be a psychologist, I love working with kids but I don’t want to be a teacher, maybe a daycare person but not really. I don’t mind research but again it’s a lot.
I mean I don’t mind medecine. I’ve done some protrams and I find anatomy and biology genuinely interesting. I hate the physics and chemistry part of it I know I’ll have to complete to take the MCAT. Maybe I’m too burnt out. I want to be a pediatric anesthesiologist right now but I’m not sure. I know a lot of people change their minds.
I think it’s moreso her access to me. She says she has a right to control me and to make me obey her in adulthood. She can have a say in every aspect of my life. She’s crazy enough to visit me every single
Day. She wants to make important life decisions when I’m older like say where I go to medical/grad school. I know she’s also interested in courting me off.
I told her I could do an online gap year while in Europe taking college classes at American uni but I think it’s literally moreso she doesn’t want me to leave. She said yeah to my brother a few years back in Germany but he himself changed his mind. I think she knows I don’t love her as she’s been treating me as such more and more. I think she’s scared to lose me but she also threatens to push me out of her home.
OP have you considered talking all of this through with your guidance counselor? There is a lot going on here.
Do you want to go to medical school, or is this something your mother wants you to do? I would put this to the side for now and not think about it. I see you touched on this above (posted at the same time).
The list of schools that your mother prepared consists of almost all reaches. If she is open to UConn then she should be open to Rutgers. I would actually add 2 NJ schools.
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot. I think it might help if you have a trusted adult to talk to.
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I dont want to stay in NJ at all unless it’s closer to free so I can pay it off myself. My guidance counselor knows she’s living vicariously but I never explained to what extent.
I’m not sure about medical school. Everything she’s pretty much knocked down, other than being a psychologist. I don’t know. I don’t want to do anything when I’m older.
You don’t have to figure out your career right now. My daughter was a biology major with premed intentions, worked for a few years while deciding what she wanted, and is now back in school at 26. You are still in HS- you have time to figure it out.
There is a lot to unravel in your posts. You also need more likely schools on your list. Maybe your GC can explain this?
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I don’t know. I genuinely don’t want to do any of this anymore. I think ill just add random schools that are like 40-50 percent like UGA or random state schools. I know why I don’t want to do anything but I should probably make myself. Thanks for your help
Is there a trusted adult you can speak with? As I mentioned, there seems to be a lot going on here.
I would focus on finding a school so that you can eventually live independently, make your own decisions etc.
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No, at this point the cons outweighs the good. I promise I’ll figure it out.
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Since you mentioned that you’ve liked working with kids at VBS, another gap year possibility would be City Year. You can choose where in the country you’d want to apply to. https://www.cityyear.org/
Career-wise, maybe look into other health professions like becoming an OT or SLP. Also, there’s nothing wrong with business, and there are a lot of business options besides marketing, especially for students who are strong in math and science. There are lots options, and you have lots of time to figure things out. You just sound like you really need some breathing room. It’s hard to generate enthusiasm when you’re in survival mode.
College-wise, I’d look at that thumbs-up for UConn and consider where else might fit the same pattern. How about UVM? It’s super LGBTQ+friendly, and popular with a lot of kids and parents who might otherwise have wanted an elite private. And it’s too far to drive from NJ on a whim 
Maybe check out McDaniel College, in Maryland. It’s quite diverse (almost 20% AA) and has a really interesting range of majors (could be worth looking just to get ideas, even if you’re not interested in going there); and you’d get good merit aid.
Hang in there.
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Tysm for these recs. I’ll look at the city year thing. I’m not sure what I’m going to do career wise. My friend said industrial engineering and environmental engineering are relatively low effort, but again she’s a nerd, but her sister does that. I’ll figure it out. My brother had a speech therapist and I don’t know. I’ll looking into the occupational training.
I mean I like DECA a lot so I might just minor or double major in business and fallback worst comes to worse