<p>Have your tried speaking to him calmly about your concerns? Does he acknowledge there is a problem? How is he supporting himself? I can’t believe he is sitting there gaming all day long every day and no one has spoken to him about it.Even a parent who is a saint would have spoken up if he is 19 and gaming all day with no job. If money is a problem maybe Doctor Phil can tackle the problem.</p>
<p>get him into bodybuilding – it’s what made me start caring about school</p>
<p>Thank you all for your advice and support.</p>
<p>I really am not quite sure what to make of it myself, and I think that’s a confusion that baffles my parents as well. All of us are fairly self-motivated; we’re also very, very twitchy. Not one of the three of us can stand to be in the same place for more than a few days. The fact that my brother sits at the computer day after day after day is one of those things none of us get, and I suspect my parents may have just let him go at it, secure in the “knowledge” that he couldn’t possibly stand to do that every single day for as long as he has.</p>
<p>There’s a good chance of some mental instabilities. As I said, he is very intelligent. There is also a history of depression in the family. He takes very strongly after my mother, and she can be… well… I’ll just leave it at “mental health is a prime concern.” The problem is that there is no money for those kinds of services, and yet we wouldn’t qualify for need-based programs. I was lucky that I was attending a UC when I sought services because they DO cover those things short term.</p>
<p>I am 100% positive that it is not substance abuse, however.</p>
<p>Unfortunately school is not an option – his lack of interest in school is what started all of this, nevermind the fact that the nearest community college is 20 miles away and there’s no way to get there by public transportation, only private auto (or tour bus if you’re so inclined). </p>
<p>I have tried to do what I can with him myself. For his birthday I bought him a book on moving from gaming into the gaming industry. I’ve let him know various ways (including directly speaking to him) that he should consider cutting back on the gaming and finishing school, or looking into getting a job, or helping around the house. I’ve told him that I’m always here for him if he needs something, from things as small as bringing him to a friend’s house to as large as helping him find a job or beyond. </p>
<p>My parents have spoken to him. I have spoken to him. We’ve forcibly removed the internet and the computer (he is amazingly crafty at finding ways to get it back). There have been arguments and threats. My brother learned very early on, though, that my parents are not going to kick him out and would rather deal with a 40-year-old son who lives in the basement than deal with the knowledge that he went out into the world and ended up in a gutter. It is a powerful bargaining chip for him – all he has to do is hold out for a few days or a week. </p>
<p>I realize that he needs to do this himself. I am always hopeful, with friends as well as family, that I can find something to say that strikes a chord with him, something that gets him to actually realize and face exactly what is going on and take account for it.</p>
<p>This might be appropriate to pass on to your parents. </p>
<p><a href=“http://www.4troubledteens.com/toughlove.html[/url]”>http://www.4troubledteens.com/toughlove.html</a></p>