@scorekeeper1 Agree - I should have noted that I don’t think the transfer from Yale to Portland had anything to do with COVID19. I think, IIRC, I read this back in Jan/Feb, or at least the “before times”, and that the player must have had a redshirt season or something that enabled him to graduate with one more year of eligibility (maybe he speedtracked and got his undergrad done in 3 years?).
My DD’s pre-read acceptances are coming in and she’s had to tell the coaches that she’s in the enviable position of having to decline invitations to apply ED at multiple colleges. We feel very lucky to be in this situation, but we actually feel bad about telling the coaches that she picked another school. They all sounded so disappointed and wanted to know a little more about the school she chose. Posting here because I think some of you understand the strange emotion that we are feeling.
Excuse my bumbling in the previous post. What I’m trying to say is that my D has had to decline offers, and that while it should be a great problem to have, we feel horrible about it, because some of these coaches have been talking to her for a while. And as you might have read from the other thread, my D told her first choice NESCAC that she might be breaking her commitment to them after all. This one hurts the most because she loved them and they loved her.
Can others share stories of how they declined coaches, so that we don’t feel so alone?
S did not “accept” an offer and then retracted his decision. He had 6 “offers” in hand by the end of September and told each coach that he would complete all his official visits by the first week in Oct and let them now shortly after the last visit. After his last visit, he decided that he wanted a full university experience, and called all the coaches to personally thank them for their interest and hospitality but that he was going to apply to an HYP SCEA not as an athlete. He was always very upfront with them and he let them know early enough that they could go down their list in time for ED for the next recruit, so the conversations went well. Virtually all of them told him to contact them if the SCEA decision did not go his way.
My daughter is a pretty decisive and has been honest in her no thank yous and has replied quickly letting the coach know she is pursuing other options. She always sends an email to the team member that she met/zoomed with too to let them know and does this only after hearing from the coach that he received her “pass” communication.
You never know where a coach will end up and she will see the coaches and athletes at events, so our main counsel is show respect. She has passed on 2 offers and declined pre-reads at several other schools that were no longer of interest to her after unofficial visits, zooms and more research.
Several coaches have told her to keep in touch if she changes her mind - but all in all, it has not been a big deal and I think honesty and clear communication is appreciated. We (parents) have never corresponded with coaches and she handles it all too.
It is okay to feel bad, but remember you are now opening a spot up for another student athlete at that school and everybody wins 
Jumping in a little late here and learning as I go . I see reference above to full support vs soft support … Whst is the difference ?
Full support = your child has passed a preread with Admissions and the coach says “I will support your application with Admissions”. In my son’s sport, there are approx. 6 of these spots available for the coach to offer. It means, 90% of the time, that the athlete will be admitted. The athlete applies ED.
Soft support = if the athlete can get in on their own, w/o coach support, the coach would love to have them on the team. Perhaps the coach will let Admissions know this, so there is a little bit of support. The athlete has no better chance of admission than anyone else applying to the school.
That’s why it is critical to figure out what kind of support (if any) is being offered. It is the difference between near-guaranteed admission and complete uncertainty as to admission.
At least, this is how I understand it.
Sometimes “soft” support has a slightly greater push, but agree that the applicant has to have the qualifications to be able to get in on their own. This push may get a strong applicant over the top when there could be multiple equally qualified candidates competing for limited admissions spots. At times, coaches may try to optimize his/her recruiting class by saving his/her true slots for superior athletes whose academics are otherwise below the average admit and take a chance that a very strong academic recruit, who may not be at the top of the athletic chart, can get in with this nudge. There is an entire thread on the pitfalls of soft support and the importance of knowing where you stand exactly, especially if you turn down other schools who will give you a true slot and you end up “wasting” an ED on a school that rejects/defers/rejects your app.