Lots of good advice and wide range of experiences here. My only add-on is, don’t let your kid get away with “I hate that school and I refuse to go there”, if they haven’t visited. We as “parents” and our kids as “teenagers” have all kinds of preconceived notions about what “college” is and what “that” college is like. I know H and I did, and our S did. It wasn’t until we visited the choices that the “fuzzy” pictures became sharper, or - as in the case of S’s “put-this-school-on-your-list-because-mom-says-you-never-know-what-will-happen-and-now-I-attend-here-and-love-it” current school - your/their preconceived idea does a complete 180*. If we let our kids base their decisions on what “other people” say about a school, we are letting them get by with sloppy “research” and making a life-altering commitment relying on “hearsay”. After a series of visits (including on-campus auditions, we were fortunate to get in at least two visits to all but one), S’s “only-if-I have-no-other-choice” safety (Hah! An audition safety? We had no idea), became one that he saw as the “fit”.
Everyone goes about it differently. In my D’s case, her list was varied, but each school landed on it for a reason. She applied to 8 BFA in MT programs. She had to create her college list at age 15. She turned 16 during her application process. My plan was to visit every school before her application year, as we did with her older sister. But we didn’t plan on her graduating HS early and so 11th grade was her application year. We visited 4 of her 8 schools prior to applying. We visited and did all 8 on campus auditions. When her acceptances rolled in, she knew the schools. Luckily we had visited them all because it ended up she was receiving acceptances while hospitalized and would not have gotten to visit them all in April due to being laid up and also in recovery. Once she got into NYU/Tisch, her top choice, there was no discussion of where to attend and her first day out of a hospital bed, she went to the accepted student event at NYU in a wheelchair. But she was able to pick her school because we had already visited them all. In fact, she had visited NYU/Tisch twice before being accepted. I realize teenagers’ preferences change over time and particularly if they have not yet visited the schools. My D had wanted to go to NYU since age 12. But we did not have her apply ED because we felt she had yet to visit all her schools. I am glad we visited them all and so I feel she made an informed decision and came full circle back to NYU.
Kids can get caught up in “winning the prize” of the sought-after-by-friends school, even if it may not be a good fit for them. There is one top school that my daughter thought about applying to because “everyone” was and were encouraging her to, and she admitted she was curious to see if she could get in - and who knows, if she had applied and got in and went she might have loved it. But it didn’t really fit her criteria, and she had had a little bit of exposure to the head of the program and didn’t feel a connection, so ultimately the school came off the list. I agree though that it’s very hard for kids to really know at 17 what exactly is gonna make them happy. And grasping the financial angle of all of this is often even hard for parents, let alone kids. So take solace in what I believe are truths: that if your kid has talent and drive, they can succeed no matter where or even possibly IF they go, and that most of these auditioned programs are pretty darned good and you are lucky if they get into any of them.
I agree with @Calliene that if your kid has talent and drive, they can thrive wherever they land at for college. There is more than one or two schools where they can be happy. It is so hard to get in, that you have to see what options you are handed.
Also, similar to her D, there was a top school that many friends were applying to for MT but my D did not feel it was a good fit and so she did not apply.
@Calliene - we had a very similar experience with my D’s “outlier” school. It’s close, it has an excellent reputation, and D knew/knows a stack of people there. But it wasn’t at all right for her. Yet, in the way of the universe, it was an early audition and quick rejection before Christmas. That was hard at the time, (the 1st “no” is the deepest? 
) but ultimately lit a fire and focused her on tackling the schools that WERE right for her.
That is where parents come in to the picture… Even though everyone says “I’m letting my kid take the responsibility to pick their school by themselves…” Blah blah… That can get you in a heap of mess and be sitting on April with 0 options. I am already seeing it in people we know. parents totally kept out of the school list making and let the kid decide where to apply with what someone mentioned earlier as " sloppy research" and heresay and what do you know …the kid has no schools to choose from. Your kid needs to make the decision on where to go yes, but they need tons of guidance during the process! It might be ok to be like that for regular college admissions maybe but not MT. Too many unseen variables. Too many times your kid says “I hate that school “& you inquire why? And they have no reason other then " well so and so said…” Or they are obsessed with a school because everyone is applying there but it is obviously a crappy fit for your kid. Well they need someone to reign them in and say " look and see here are the reasons this school isn’t worth you applying at”
Sometimes you have to force some school choices into your kids focus & they end u doing a complete turn around . My D kept saying" no "to a
school that was a consideration and we thought it would be a good choice to apply next year for many reasons . So we said "let’s go visit & if you hate it then & can explain your reasoning (of sometimes I know if just doesn’t feel right) then we’ll bag it. Well lo & behold she really liked it after the visit.
Agreed @theaterwork! I was very involved at the outset with the making of the lists for both my S and D. Sometimes, their 17-18 year old selves are not making the most rational decisions :-).
Although, when they know what they want, they know what they want. My D’s list didn’t include any of the “Big 3.” I kept going back to one, coming at it from different angles, pointing out things D might not had thought about (trying to sell it in a non-pushy way). But, she HAD thought about it, and she was always able to articulate her reasons. I finally let it go… After a negative run-in with someone from the program at Unifieds, she took delight in saying, “See? THAT’S why I didn’t apply there!” I laughed and let her delight in it (even though I do still wonder if she would’ve gotten in… ).
We’re just starting to look at colleges for D2. Totally different majors, totally different interests… Because I love researching and have time to do it, I’ve started to come up with a huge list of possibilities for her. I had a school I thought for sure D2 would like and would be great for her. Nope. Her research so far has taken it right off her initial list. That’s ok with me now. It’s still tucked in the back of mind just in case, like the one that didn’t make D1’s list, but it’s much further back than D1’s. I’ve learned… And, I’ve seen that, often, they really do know exactly what they want, and that there are a ton of great schools out there besides the one(s) I think would be best/most prestigious/whatever.
But, yes, often we open up their minds, too. There’s a school that I had to tell D2 to keep an open about before she even knew the name, and I was right: it has catapulted to the top of her list so far.
It’s definitely a collaboration. At least, it has been for us…
What you are looking for in a college can change as you go through the process. And I mean both Musical Theatre wise and just general college desires. I flip flop every month on location, size, campus, sports, etc. and even after they know where they want we will still be unsure. By the time we really know what’s fit for us, we’ve already applied and auditioned and sometimes we don’t know what’s actually right until we are already attending a school.
Just thought I’d throw in my two cents about the grades thing, for any current juniors or kids yet to audition, that while grades are important, if you’re going for a performing arts program, they are NOT as important as your audition! If you really wow a school at your audition, so long as you meet your minimum requirements, they may be willing to make an exception for you.
The vibe I got during this whole process is that, if it comes down to two equally talented applicants, and one has a 3.8 GPA and the other has a 2.8, then yes, the college will pick the 3.8. But obviously, there’s no magic scale for measuring talent, and if the auditors are impressed + intrigued by YOU, you still have a shot. Anyways, excluding the extraordinarily top tier schools, the GPA requirements are pretty lax, because the schools understand the difficulty of balancing drama rehearsals and leadership positions with top notch grades!
I went into this process seriously worried about my pretty mediocre grades, and honestly, it has not been an issue, for acceptances or money. I auditioned for 5 schools (didn’t do the whole unifieds thing cuz I kinda knew what I was looking for) schools, and was admitted to 3, all with great money for talent. One school offered me 25k a year (+7k from FAFSA) and Rider, where I’ve just committed, offered me a dean’s merit scholarship of 18k a year. My GPA is a 3.26 and my SAT is a 1990.
So while I’d def advise you to boost your GPA while you can, because it will increase your chances, I wouldn’t freak out over it too much bc you’ll find somewhere that accepts you that you like
Right@Mirandak7
It can be all about the audition if you’re talking getting accepted. A “B” average is great for almost all schools.
Yet…Better grades do mean more academic merit money from schools. Matters not if you get into all the schools if you can’t afford them. Grades are the one way a student can help parents pay for their education.
Disregard this if you are not strapped for funds!! (Or if you were expecting to go into debt)
But if it makes a difference, try to get your grades above a 3.6. I was annoyed at D because I felt she shortchanged herself here. In one particular case I felt I shouldn’t have to pay full fare just because she hadn’t tried to exert herself earlier.
Again, this advice is only for some people. I totally get that money is NOT a deciding factor for every CC person.
I agree @mtmcmt about the merit aid and grades. If my D doesn’t improve her SAT score by at least a bit, it will likely shut her out of a few schools on her list. Not because they won’t admit her, but because we will need the extra merit scholarship funds to send her…
I’ve had 4 kids go through his process so far, and I also sometimes tutor for college admissions, plus I’m a teacher. One thing to remember is that the students are very young when this process starts. Some are immature–or I should say, at their developmental level. They have limited life experience, and are still growing and developing, as is natural. It is the exception, rather than the rule, that the student knows what he/she wants and has good solid reasons for wanting x or y college. I can count such students on one hand. Of my own children, only one knew what he wanted and had good solid reasons.
A mistake we parents can make is the mistake I made with my first–to listen to the kid when they express what they want, to think they are more mature than they in fact are. Again, some kids are, like my fourth; you do sort of have to go with your gut on this. But ultimately you are the adult.
Often the kids’ minds change as they go on, they follow what their friends are doing, they have no idea what they want because they have no life experience to match it against, etc. I do think parental guidance is really important; you know your child best. It matters not one iota what other people want or what is good for other students. Don’t be pressured to ‘want’ a school that is clearly a bad fit for your child, just because of its status or reputation. Be open, give them a wide range of choices and a variety of types of schools (unless you know for sure a type of school is out, like a too-small school, or a too-big one). Once the acceptances are in, visit, visit, visit. Have the student stay overnight if you at all can. By this time, in April, they are a very different person than when the process began nearly a year earlier. They will know much more what they want, or what they don’t want, when they visit. And by all means, insist on the visit, even if the kid says they have no interest. So many times, their minds change once they go and see it for themselves (for good and bad).
And finally, even if they end up going to a less than ideal college, it is what they make of it once there. They will still be growing and changing and maturing while they are there.
^ What @connections said! We’ve been through the college merry-go-round three times. The kid who steps on the spinning platform is not the one who steps off.
@connections …exactly!! Just yesterday my D proceeded to tell me that in her college prep class , her teacher was raving about the college he went to (well known)and how that needs to be a factor in choosing a school since it helps with connections blah blah and he skipped over the fact that most of the kids in the class could never afford that school or have stats to get in! So frustrating to not address ALL the college choices available. Of course you can address the fact that for some majors it may be important to pick the school that has the best reputation/program for that major etc I would think this really applies to law, etc. but don’t ignore the fact that kids are SO impressionable. They get these thoughts in their heads because they don’t know any different and of course like you said are immature etc and it’s not helping when a teacher tells them this.
They apply at schools because their friends are, their friends give them their pre conceived notions of the school without doing any research or only going by social media posts etc. nothing concrete or even statistical, just heresay.
I am always amazed at the parents that let their 17 yr old make every decision regarding college stuff. Of course they should be making decisions and given more and more responsibility but in stages and with guidance…not just say " wherever you want to go is fine honey" . I have no doubt there are REALLY mature seniors … I see their posts on this forum and can tell they have their crap together. ( you guys know who you are lol) & I agree, big difference in a teen at the beginning of senior yr and the end.
The posts above describe the reasons we are SO glad our D didn’t follow the advice to first decide if she wanted a BFA or BA when building her list. The more she researched, the more she realized that for her BFA/BA was not a meaningful distinction, as curriculum and philosophy varies so much between programs. She also switched her priorities just before ED season, moving 3 BAs to the top of her list. Thank goodness she hadn’t eliminated them early in the process!
I agree @momcares. Our D was looking for the right curriculum and rigor for her. She had 6 BA and 11 BFA programs on her list. In the end, she narrowed it down to one BA and one BFA – Michigan MT BFA and Northwestern BA. She has two wait lists left – CMU MT BFA and Yale Theatre BA. These programs are very different from one another but they are all very serious, very rigorous–at least that’s how she views them. It will now come down to the right fit, and part of that fit for her will involve finances. I’m very happy that she made the list the way she did. She knew what she was looking for and she remained true to herself throughout the process. I think her strategy paid off. Like many have said on here, it’s important to apply only to schools that you would be happy to attend. That’s hard to figure out but our D made her list with the help of Mary Anna Dennard, by watching a lot of YouTube videos of showcases/performances, talking to others in the profession, and reading everything she could about the programs. We visited very few schools. There weren’t enough hours in the day, not money in the bank, with dance, homework, voice, and acting commitments to do much more.
Can’t wait to hear what she decides and why @HappyDancer98 ! What incredible yet different choices! Congrats!
And keep your senior year lite!!! My d was way too overloaded and in the end it just doesn’t matter!
JMHO - but I disagree with the senior year light for a couple reasons. 1. If you can grab up some AP credits it can open up room in a BFA schedule for a minor, additional voice/dance etc. 2. It is a good approximation for what a BFA program (which requires a LOT of time management). My D took 4 ap classes and was generally in 2 shows at the same time (one rehearsed 3-6, the other 6-9, then she would come home and do HW). It was super busy… And a walk in the park compared to all she has to get done now. More than once last year she thanked me for making sure she worked hard all senior year b/c it made the transition to college much smoother. YMMV