I think Tim McGraw (and Tim Nichols/Craig Wiseman writers) summed it up the best:
“I went skydiving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying”
I would write my own obituary.
My first job after graduating with my journalism degree was at our local newspaper where I wrote obituaries from the daily reports from the funeral home. Just the facts. My life has not been very interesting, but I deserve more than just a bare-bones obit.
I would focus on making as many memories as possible. You have a great attitude and I’m so glad you’re planning for the future.
Also sending prayers and best wishes. I had no idea you were ill. Have to admit this news made me teary.
@3scoutsmom I’ve been following a lot of your posts because of your enthusiasm for UT Dallas (your posts have encouraged my daughter to put the school near the top of her list). Your attitude in the face of your health issues is truly inspirational. Wishing you better health and many good years ahead.
=D> [-O<
OP, my heart sinks to read about your situation.
I have a lot of jewelry, of all values. I would separate or somehow mark the fine/ real jewelry, the vintage costume jewelry, and the plain old cheap costume jewelry.
Years ago, my sisters in law were very into Longaburger (Sp?) baskets. I have always wondered whether their heirs will be able to tell that a particular basket cost $60 instead of $6.
You sound really organized and the only thing I thought of someone already mentioned (notes to your kids for occasions like their wedding day or when they become parents). I just wanted to add my best wishes for your health and hope that you get some good news for treatment options.
I’m sending good thoughts your way. You seem to have thought of most everything.
One thing I’ve been debating lately is how to leave some part of my half of everything to our children. Right now my will leaves it to my husband, but I’m rethinking it. A good friend of ours passed away unexpectedly last year and his 2nd wife (of about 3 years) inherited the house he had owned with his first wife. It will no doubt eventually go to her son and his wife. Our friend’s children got nothing. I want us to leave each other enough to live on, but when the survivor dies I want what we worked for to go to our children. I just don’t know how to do that yet.
You are amazing and so incredibly selfless to think of all these needs for others. Everything that I could have thought of has been covered by you or other posters. Please let us know how you are doing! Your head must be swimming. It sounds like there is great hope though. Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal challenge @3scoutsmom. We are here rooting in your corner!
My bil was on the transplant list so I’m very familiar with the procedure and the waiting… prayers to you and best of luck. And I’m in agreement how wonderful those doctors and transplants teams are.
He got his transplant and it was wonderful.
I’ll just put my thoughts and prayers out there. The best thing to do is not give up and it seems like you got that.
Sending prayers and best wishes your way. I think you have a terrific list.
For me? I’d be going more quickly through my bucket list of places I want to see before I die - ending up on some beach where I can see as many colorful fishies [sic] as I can from my condo balcony when I can’t do anything more. I’ve seen a person or two do well with that kind of healing - and I’ve seen others not do well. It’s a crap shoot. It’s pretty similar to most options folks have, so my preference is the road less traveled giving my mind more dopamine rushes (since traveling is what gives them to me).
I’d use whatever money I had to have as many close relatives join me as possible even for just segments of it.
My will, etc, is already updated. Being told you have a brain tumor will spur that on as did my dad’s sudden death from a heart attack. (FWIW, I also had the BT treated with radiation since it was supposed to be a 90% success rate, so it’s not like I shun everything medical - odds would likely matter if something else came up.)
What’s not for me is dying in a nursing home or hospital for my last days/weeks/years. Seen that. Don’t want it. I can take a “bad” step on a hike first if need be when the time is right.
And again, this is only “me.” I respect the right for all to make their own wishes. I’m going to be right next to my mom in another week or so as she (hopefully) enters a cancer trial having exhausted other treatments. Her choice - my full support - till the end.
AustinM… wrote what I was thinking. A few years ago I wrote about my friends’ husband dying. He left everything to her. She fell apart—cleanliness, drinking. There was a scene at her son’s law school graduation. She then cut the kids off from everything, throwing one out of their house. In short, leave your assets divided.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It does seem like you are surrounded by a lovely family and friends.
I love the idea of writing letters to your future grandchildren, or to your children on their future wedding day.
For me, I’d simply want to spend time with my closest family and closest friends.
@3scoutsmom - Love your attitude! You go, girl!
@austinmshauri - I have family members who created 2 trusts. Each partner ‘owned’ 1/2 of their estate, each partner left 1/2 of their share to their spouse and the other 1/2 to be divided by their 3 children. So the children (all well into adulthood) received some funds once the first parent died.
@3scoutsmom, I pray for you and your family daily. I think of you often. That you for the post. You are so amazing! Hugs!!!
Interesting comments about the will and setting up a trust directly for the kids. Having experienced this in our own family, I’d recommend it too.
One more thought - there are some great books where you can write down your personal and family history. The oral family history always seems to get lost.
@3scoutsmom You have been extremely helpful to me with all my questions about UTD. I had no idea you were going through this. Thinking of you and your family.
Regarding dividing assets, DH and I are in the process of reorganizing our trust. New plan will have one of the (very large) accounts become part of a family trust that requires all three parties – surviving spouse and both adult children – to sign off on any disbursement of principal.
@austinmshauri, see an estate planning attorney. He can protect your assets for your children in a trust.
@3scoutsmom, so sorry to hear of your health struggles. You seem to have all of your ducks in a row (or are making good headway). A lot of this is good advice for people who have no current serious health issues. Anyone can go suddenly.
Best wishes for a full recovery.