What would you do?

Parent Cafe
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<p>She clearly is TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that she fed the dog table food and it resulted in the dog’s illness. As a vet tech, she is DANGEROUS. </p>

<p>You might call this an expensive lesson and pay the woman. </p>

<p>As a physician, if I do surgery for a problem and it does not work (ie I try to prevent a hysterectomy by doing, say, an endometrial ablation) I still bill as I did the work. But if a patient suffered a serious illness as a result of my surgery, I do not balance bill. The insurance would pay their portion, but I would not bill the patient for any out of pocket expenses. But not everyone bills that way.</p>

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<p>My husband and I spoke for just a moment and he wants to send her half of her fee just to be done. While I don’t agree, I have a feeling that is what will be done. I do find it interesting that while she agrees to what the vet said, that the food caused the problem, she truly believes what she did was out of love for P. That P loved the added foods and that is why she did it; not taking into account that she shouldn’t have given it the dog in the first place! My dog is not a discriminating eater, she also like to eat poop and dead animals! :0 </p>

<p>I forgot to add, she is one of those people that will kill you with kindness; super sappy and sweet! Her last comment this morning was, You decide what you and your husband can live with. When you think about this episode in a few years and remember you didn’t pay someone for their services, how will you feel about that? Could you live with yourself?</p>

<p>As my husband is the holder of the checkbook, I will leave the final decision up to him, although I will not agree to paying her the full amount. From day one he wanted to split the cost with her; maybe we should have had that conversation with her at the time instead of ignoring the bill like I did.</p>

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<p>Are you sure the woman was an actual vet tech and not a vet assistant? A tech trains for two years, and is licensed. An assistant does chores like cleaning up cages and equipment, office work etc. There is a big difference.</p>

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<p>My kids might want to eat chocolate all day and play naked in the streets, but that doesn’t mean I let them. Her whole “but P liked it!” reasoning is beyond ridiculous.</p>

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<p>I have no idea; my SIL was the one that told me she was a vet tech,and she could be wrong. I tried googling the sitter and didn’t find anything on her one way or another. </p>

<p>That said, many people including vets, are not knowledgeable in canine nutrition. I refuse to feed the canned RX diet the vet sells, even if the dog is sick. I can cook a bland diet that is 1000x healthier and not full of the crap that goes into the Rx diet. I am not a health nut by any stretch of the imagination, but over the years I have learned what is best for dogs as far as diet and what works for my dog. I don’t feed raw or home cook, but I take great care to feed high quality grain free foods. It was a work in progress to figure out this dogs diet, but she has been stable for the past 3 years and I have no intentions of rocking the boat! The dogs eat a much healthier diet than my family does :)</p>

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<p>Is she for real?? This would make me NOT want to pay her even more, and to instead ask her “When you think about this episode in a few years and remember that you almost killed my dog and did not even offer to pay for the vet bill or at least waive your fee, how will you feel about that? Could you live with yourself?”</p>

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<p>I completely agree with sodiumfree. She’s a nut. I might try paying her half just to get rid of her but there is no way that I would pay the full amount. </p>

<p>You are never going to get her to see her culpability in this. I have dealt with people like her many times. They are warped.</p>

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<p>Sodiumfree said it all.</p>

<p>Thanks for updating all of us.</p>

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<p>OK, I take it all back. She’s not even arguing that you were unclear, or that she misunderstood your instructions in any way, only that she did it because the dog liked it. So, I’m with your H at this point - offer to give her half and say you think that’s more than fair under the circumstances.</p>

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<p>I’m not really sure what I would do in this situation. I’d probably just pay her (or pay half) and hope to never see her again. </p>

<p>But I am curious that you list fruits and vegetables as acceptable treats for P (in small amounts). I have Crohn’s disease (was originally diagnosed as ulcerative colitis), and fiber is just about the last thing the doctors say to ingest during a flare up. Bananas might be OK, but cucumbers/apples/celery are a definite NO. The sugar in the yogurt probably didn’t help matters. Are dogs different? They may be, I don’t know. </p>

<p>However, I do know that the sitter most likely noticed something was going on with P a few days earlier than she says, and she was hoping it would just go away on it’s own. She might have mistakenly thought it was bacterial/viral in nature. But this is where she should have called you and asked about feeding P a bland chicken/rice diet or just limited P to her regular food!</p>

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<p>Agree with SodiumFree. I would absolutely type that in an email, send her a check for half and be done. No more communications of any kind. Considering all the info above, doubt very much she will take it further. She is a nut job!</p>

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<p>And the story just get weirder by the moment! I get an email from the sitter last night that she sent to my SIL and copied to me. I could never do the email justice by paraphrasing, so if you don’t mind reading the entire thing, I will just copy and paste the entire email here. To protect the innocent I have renamed everyone-SIL is J, I am B, my husband is G, and you know the dog is P. A bit of history, my SIL and I are not close; she is a second wife to my husband’s step brother. We are only together for holidays as they live at their vacation home most of the time, which is fine with me as she isn’t my favorite SIL :-)</p>

<p>BTW, I think we have decided to send her a letter and check for half the amount just to be done with this quack. I was wondering of we shold put something on the back of the check to the effect if the check is cashed it will show our debt is closed. We will put that in the letter also. </p>

<p>"Hi J. I’m writing you to tell you about a situation I had with B and G’s dog, P. I want to tell you what happened because you referred them to me, and I feel awful about this situation.</p>

<p>P was brought to me for boarding on Saturday, April 16, 2011, and she was scheduled to stay with me until Sunday, April 24 - 9 days.</p>

<p>P has food allergies; so, B bring her dry food to me to give her, and my understanding has always been that it is ok to give her a little fresh chicken, fresh eggs, spinach, carrots, etc. I have always feed her additional foods topping it off with fresh Goat yogurt that I make from goats that I milk. Never has there been a problem.</p>

<p>This particular visit there was a problem, and on Saturday evening, April 23 at 10:30 p.m., I came out of the shower and found bright, red blood on the kitchen floor. I checked each dog and decided it was Piper because she was licking herself lots. At this time I thought it was a urinary tract infection, and I called B on her cellphone. We talked, and I told her that I would take P to ER. When I arrived and was informed of the procedures they wanted to do, I called and talked with G. Through the night until 4:30 a.m. I talked with G 2 or 3 times, and each time he assured me to “ok” any procedure that P needed, i.e. blood work, x-rays, etc. which I did. Both B and G were grateful to me for taking P to the ER in the middle of the night and staying with her. However, at 4:30 a.m. it was decided that I should leave her there for the rest of the night, and a price of $1,000 was quoted. I called G, and he agreed that she may need to stay over night. The diagnosis was colitis.</p>

<p>B and G came home, as planned, the next day. Several days later, B came to my house to pick up P’s food and my invoice. At this time everything seemed fine, and B even brought P to say hello to me.</p>

<p>A month went by without receiving payment, and I e-mailed B. I did not hear back from her. This morning I called her, and she told me that they did not think it was right to pay me because I had fed her food that was the cause of the problem, and the result of my actions was a very large vet bill, $1,100. B and I had a nice conversation, and she knows that I care very much for P and that this was not intentional. B said that she would talk with G and decide what to do. I asked B to please do whatever would make things “ok” when down the road in life, she looks back on this awful time and she is not upset with me.</p>

<p>J, I want you to know that I adore P and never would have done anything to hurt her. It was completely my fault, and I feel awful. I have a very difficult time feeding just dry food especially when P loved the chicken and eggs and yogurt so much. She enjoyed eating every little bit of the fresh foods I prepared her. Of course, I started off very gradually, and as I saw her bowel movements look good, I slowly increased the amount of fresh foods. I scoop 4 or 5 times a day and never saw a bloody or runny diarrhea which would alert me that P was getting sick. As soon as I saw the blood, I called B, then called the emergency sitter I have scheduled, and then we rushed to ER.</p>

<p>I provided excellent care for Piper for the 8 days prior to this incident, and I think it is terribly unfair for B and G to choose not to pay me. This is the first time I have had a pet owner choose not to pay me; it is shocking. I did not ask for payment for transportation to the emergency room or my time waiting on her and paying a pet sitter $20 an hour while I waited. I do have a business contract for pet owners stating that they are responsible for all medical care for their dog and releases me from any damages; however, I never asked B to sign this contract.</p>

<p>I am very sad that this situation happened. I’m sure I’ll never see P again, and I have loss the payment for the money and time I provided P for her care. The invoice was for $420.</p>

<p>Again, I am so sorry that this has happened, and I wanted to let you know. B mentioned in our conversation this morning that she thought about calling you. I am copying B on this note because I wanted her to know all that I told you."</p>

<p>I wanted to add my thought here but have to run out for the day. I wanted those following the story to have time to respond and it will be fun to see what you have to say!!</p>

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<p>This is the key part to me:</p>

<p>“J, I want you to know that I adore P and never would have done anything to hurt her. It was completely my fault, and I feel awful. I have a very difficult time feeding just dry food especially when P loved the chicken and eggs and yogurt so much. She enjoyed eating every little bit of the fresh foods I prepared her.”</p>

<p>She admits it’s her fault AND it’s all about her – “I have a hard time feeding just dry food …” I don’t care what YOU have a hard time doing, emotionally; I care that you take proper care of my dog as directed by ME.</p>

<p>This woman is maddening and too clueless to continue to deal with. I could see paying her half to get her out of your hair, but I’m stubborn and cheap enough that I, personally, wouldn’t fold. You had to pay a $1,100 bill because she felt sorry (?) for P having to subsist on dry food? Puhlease.</p>

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<p>She admits she’s completely at fault, you have a bill for over 1K due to her negligence, yet she’s somehow shocked? Would also point out that her analogy to your H getting paid if patients don’t do well after he treats them is ridiculous. He certainly expects to be paid for time and expertise if a patient develops complications that could not be foreseen. But if a doctor is admittedly negligent and there is a bad result, realistically, what a doctor can most often expect is a lawsuit.</p>

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<p>If you trust her enough to use her again, you should pay her. I would not use her again and I would ask her to pay the vet bill. I would get the vet to put down in writing what caused the problems that caused the animal to go there. I would then ask her to please revise her bill taking that into consideration, given that you had discussed what this dog should eat and allergies and she was the one who changed the diet. </p>

<p>But why you want to use her again is beyond me. Clearly she does not listen to instructions. This is not some understandable mistake. If it were, I would pay the bills and use her again without a word, but this was a deliberate disregard for instructions that caused a medical emergency. What would someone have to do for you not to use them as a sitter again?</p>

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<p>This sitter seems to have a lot in common with Casey Anthony.</p>

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<p>Boy, on top of being a nut job she’s also not too bright. This email CLEARLY admits guilt on her part and now she is sharing that info with others who use her??! She is digging a hole for herself and her little business. She is admitting guilt yet is ‘shocked’ she isn’t getting paid?? Red flags are up everywhere! Now I say don’t pay a cent, instead file a small claim for the entire vet bill, using every email correspondence and vet comments to back you up. There’s no question she cares about herself more than you, G or P. I hope after this last email you can see the wisdom of losing her as a sitter.</p>

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<p>Or you could wait and see if she will take you to small claims court. I doubt she will and if she did, I don’t see how she would win. I would ignore her completely and I bet she might go away (grumbling that she just love P almost to death the whole way).</p>

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<p>This is a tough one, she has admitted fault, yet she does not see her way clear to offer free care let alone pay for the vet bill.</p>

<p>You are talking about potentially $1500 out of pocket, admittedly her fault. In a perfect world, you would pay her bill and she would pay the vet bill since she caused the problem. Would it be any different if you had signed the contract? Would the contract be valid if she admitted fault?</p>

<p>The thing is, she is not out of pocket anything, just her time. I believe you can write paid in full on the memo and that, upon cashing, means the merchant has accepted that amount as payment in full. I had someone do that to me 20+ years ago. A long time client had me do a large event in a rush and then deducted 1/3 of the amount of the total bill. I had not increased the bill, but paid for numerous items on her behalf. At that time I had no ability to float the amounts I had paid on her behalf. I had to cash the check. It stunk, still a little bitter. She demanded (and always had) top of the line everything in a short times frame. We did not talk price on that event as it was a mad rush, but it was the same pricing structure that things had always been. I think she simply did not realise how many items she added on. My fault, I should have gone over every detail along the way, but am not sure how I could have priced everything and pulled the event together from scratch in just a few weeks. When I say it was my fault, I mean I should have protected myself. My bill was fair.</p>

<p>Whatever you elect to do, I would try to explain it to her:</p>

<p>“You admit this was your fault (see email) and the vet concurred; due to your lack of discipline, our dog endured pain & suffering and we incurred a $1100 vet bill. It is true that we authorized the vet bill over the course of the evening, by that time we had no choice. what we did not authorize was you to feed Piper large amounts of new/different/extra foods. We are deducting the amount of your bill from the vet bill and herby request you reimburse us for the remaining portion. Shall we make a claim on your insurance policy or would you prefer to pay in cash?”</p>

<p>She is in business and should have liability insurance.</p>

<p>Since she is clueless, go ahead and explain it. She can agree or disagree, but at least she will not be mystified.</p>

<p>Or don’t pay her anything, but don’t ask for the remainder amount
Or pay her some portion.</p>

<p>I think legally, now that you have her admitting fault in writing, you would win a small claims case. I personally would probably not want to bother with that stress & hassle, given the difficulty collecting. What you decide to do should now be based on how you want to treat her and whether the relationship with your SIL causes you to change that?</p>

<p>I had a financial issue with someone who was a referral of a friend, the friends DD was seriously dating the other party’s son. We disagreed after a year over a few hundred dollars. Because there was the chance of a marriage, I did not say anything or hassle the money, I normally would have. I did not want to risk an in laws issue for my friend. I actually never told my friend about the issue as I did not want her to feel in the middle or feel it was messy. Hopefully the other people also said nothing! In some cases it is wiser to forgo some $$ rather than stress an important relationship. Your call on that.</p>

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<p>I have enjoyed reading the replies and will share with my husband this evening. Someone asked in a post earlier today concerning how could I possibly use this woman again. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I did not intend to use her service again, and I had in fact found another sitter for the next time I need one.</p>

<p>As far as my SIL’s involvement, I am curious what her take in on this situation. She is a person that is all about herself, yet I believe if this had happened to her dog instead of mine, she would be livid and probably would sue!! I am not worried about her feeling or whether she chooses to continue to use this sitter or not. She is so rarely in town anyway, the sitter wouldn’t lose much business from her anyway if she decided not to use the sitter.</p>

<p>I found it interesting that she said she didn’t charge me for the travel to the ER, which she mentioned on the phone yesterday, as well as the cost for the emergency sitter at $20/hr. This all happened after all the dogs were asleep; that is how she knew the blood was from P as she was the only dog awake at the time. I don’t know if she really had to have someone stay with the other dogs, although she has been truthful up to now, so I bet she did. I know she doesn’t stay home 24 hours a day, so I didn’t understand having to call a sitter, but whatever.</p>

<p>I have thought of telling her we will be happy to pay her now and then we will be taking her to small claims court to collect the vet bill of $1100! She then, I hope, would be out the $1100, her fees as well as whatever fees to go to small claims court; she would be smarter to just leave well enough alone.</p>

<p>Another thought was to be nice and email her that I understand all sides; I would mention that I have spoken to some lawyer friends without saying what each of them suggested. Then I would like to know what she would do if the roles were reversed; would she want to pay me for my services? Put the ball in her court so to speak. Of course she is so stupid that I have a feeling she will say she would pay the caregiver.</p>

<p>In a strange way, I am enjoying this battle; I live a boring life and this has living it up a bit :slight_smile: My husband wants to be done and is ready to write a check for half the amount; I on the other hand still want to do nothing. If I had all the money in the world, I would pay her and cut my losses; but I don’t and I am out the money for the vet, so she can be out her money also. I might be eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, but the dogs eat high end food and get the best possible care. It was never an option not to give P the ER care she needed.</p>