In my view, “black tie optional” is akin to “semi-formal.” In other words, pretty dressy, but no need for gowns or tuxes.
Anyway, I don’t think the issue is so much that the dress in question is a floral print. It is more about how dressy is the dress. We haven’t seen it. . But if it is like a cotton sundress, it likely is not dressy enough. It should be more like a party or cocktail dress and dressier fabric. I see nothing wrong with floral for the time of year, time of day, and outside. But still it should be dressy given the dress code on the invitation.
As an aside, some posts were talking of the bride’s footwear and flip flops, etc. My younger D insisted on wearing regular ivory Keds sneakers to her wedding saying she wanted to be comfortable and that nobody would care or notice what was her on her feet. She even mentions this in a recent NYTimes article.
In my mind black tie optional means the wedding party will probably wear tuxes, and if you’ve got one and like wearing it you should wear it, but most of the guests will just wear suits and ties. Women will wear nice dresses - probably not florals!
Just for an extra twist my SIL and brother give a summer dance party where the dress code is “medals shall be worn”. It confuses everyone, but what it means is if you are a civilian you can wear a tux, if you are in the military you wear your dress uniform with all the medals. In practice (since it’s NH), they get most of the guys out of jeans and flannel shirts, some people get silly and pull out their running medals or their chess medals. Everyone dances and has a good time and they do dress up as much as they can bring themselves to do. One early party, the guy apparently asked his wife what to wear and she said, “Oh I don’t know, a jacket is probably fine.” He took one look at my brother in his tux and went home and changed! My husband usuallly wears “trachten” to their parties which in Germany is considered the equivalent of a tux.
The brides at the wedding I most recently attended work sparkly comfy tennis shoes with her gorgeous white frothy gown. She was comfortable and had a blast dancing at the reception. I didn’t hear one word about her choice of footwear. She was the bride and could do no wrong.
Another wedding I attended, bride changed from heels to those comfy ballet-style flats fit the reception, where she danced in comfort. Most of the bridesmaids also switched footwear. I’ve seen a lot of folks just dance barefoot as well.
Unless I’m missing something, this is a not new occurrence. Cleopatra changed into a pair of strappy sandals when she married Mark Antony, and the world continued to revolve on its own axis.
My daughter is having a black tie optional wedding in December. I am, obviously, the mother of the bride and I am wearing a floral ball gown. It is the most me dress I’ve ever owned.
OP here. The wedding was yesterday afternoon. My daughter decided to wear a beautiful long gown she rented for $90. Her boyfriend bought a dark suit, white shirt, and solid black tie especially for this occasion. He probably doesn’t have another use for it, and wasn’t happy. Oh well.
The wedding was at 3:30 in the afternoon and the forecast was for thunderstorms during that time. It rained early in the morning as well. Guests were instructed to wear “proper footwear” so my daughter bought inexpensive shoes that she wouldn’t regret being ruined in the mud. It was also extremely humid. Boyfriend was rightly concerned about surviving with all his layers of clothing,
When they arrived at the country club, there was a lightning warning, so guests were taken inside for drinks. The ceremony was delayed by an hour after which they were shuttled to the ceremony site in golf carts. It didn’t rain. But the threat of storms cooled things off, so at least they weren’t sweating.
The couple had until noon to decide whether to move the wedding inside. We all thought they made the wrong choice.
No men wore tuxes and in fact some wore light suits. Many women wore what my daughter described as inappropriate clothing for any wedding, let alone one that stated black tie optional. Daughter and boyfriend did not have a good time.
No one should be wearing a tux at 3 o’clock in the afternoon in the summer outdoors. Nor should women be wearing long–or short–dresses with bling. Just no.
IMNSHO saying “black tie optional” in those circumstances is a big misstep. Tacky in fact. (Had to take up the challenge! ) If you can’t depend on your friends knowing enough to wear either a summer suit or nice slacks and a jacket/blazer, then semi-formal would have been a better choice.
Do people REALLY wear polo shirts w/o at least a jacket to weddings? I must lead too sheltered a life.
BTW, I also do not get the idea that floral is by definition not formal. There is floral and there is floral. @zoosermom, that grey hi-lo floral dress is just fabulous!
One person wore a polo shirt to my wedding. 6 pm formal. Wedding was outside, reception was inside. Wedding party was in tuxes, the mothers wore long dresses. All the other guys pulled out their suits or jackets and the women wore nice dresses, mostly knee or tea length.
) If you can’t depend on your friends knowing enough to wear either a summer suit or nice slacks and a jacket/blazer, then semi-formal would have been a better choice.