We moved to NYC when I was 5 years old and I moved to the midwest when I was 28. I loved being in NYC until I left - we literally left “for the summer” with no intention of moving AT ALL and basically decided not to return at the end of the summer.
Throughout my twenties I had my family’s 3 1/2 bedroom apartment with roommates and at one point, including quasi-live-in boy/girlfriends, we had 7 people living there. Good times
There’s something to be said for a low cost of living and a no-lock-on-the-house-door lifestyle, though. I really love where I live now. NYC is exciting but also exhausting, life is pretty easy here.
That said, I return to NYC about 3x a year to visit my family and I love those visits. I will never sever the connection I feel to the place as my hometown. And I value the experiences i had there, casual and normal to me at the time, that make people from elsewhere say “wow! you knew so and so” or “you did what at 15??”.
My oldest was offered a terrific job there and turned it down without any hesitation at all, my youngest is very interested in living there this summer and/or after college. Different strokes I guess.
My 2 CA born and raised kids have made their home in NYC. Unless there is a job or lifestyle (less stress and less hours) change, they will be there in the foreseeable future. What bothers me about Manhattan, crowds, weather, dirt etc doesn’t seem to bother them. I go to visit at least 4 times a year and every time I remind them of the nice weather and relative spaciousness of houses in CA.
My H who grew up in NJ and whose father commuted to Manhattan every day, enjoys the city far more than when he was growing up. There is always a show, exhibition, museum or fair we can go to.
I think NYC has more amenities for the elderly such as having home deliveries of everything you can think of and the proximity of stores. It can be hard for disabled people. I do miss the automatic doors we have in most CA shops and wonder how they can get away with ADA compliance.
My husband’s nephew and wife have lived in Manhattan for years. Every time we visit them, we have fun but are happy to leave. So much walking! I would think it would be hard for elderly people. And the wind that blows between the tall buildings - yikes. The best part of the trip is getting back to Maine, really.
So much walking is true. I was in NYC a few week ago for two days. At the end of my trip, my hip began to hurt from walking. Never had a hip problem. Now I understand why people might need a hip replacement surgery.
This sounds very much like many friends’ living situations in the greater Boston area in the early '00s when I lived there for 5 years after undergrad. I was fortunate to have always had my own bedroom in an apartment. I’m not sure NYC is unique in that respect compared to other popular expensive cities…especially more expensive ones like San Francisco, Seattle, and LA.
As a native-born New Yorker who has lived most of his life in the NYC area, I was shocked at how much more expensive grocery and other basic living costs were in those West Coast cities compared to NYC. $6 for a gallon of OJ in the Seattle area…and at a large discount supermarket chain no less. That’s double what many supermarkets in the NYC area…including Manhattan charge.
While you have a great point regarding low cost, I’m not sure the “no-lock-on-the-house-door lifestyle” applies to all rural/suburban areas in Ohio or the Midwest.
It certainly didn’t apply to many parts of my rural college town in NE Ohio back in the mid-late '90s as the town was located in what a local paper declared “one of the two poorest counties in the state” and we were warned to keep our dorms/off-campus apartment doors locked because there was an issue of burglaries from locals in the vicinity.
Especially considering there was a great divergence between the SES of most undergrad classmates(upper/upper-middle class SES) and the area locals(lower income blue collar or long-term un/underemployed due to the industrial hollowing out of area industries in the 60’s and '70’s.).
Depends on how you look at it. I and many others tend to regard this as a plus, not a minus. And I see plenty of elderly residents in my neighborhoods taking long walks and enjoying it.
In fact, they are the most visible physically active residents in my neighborhood because most younger residents are working and/or in school.
I so get it! I grew up in Brooklyn, had my own apartment in Brooklyn when I was single (near Park Slope just when it was becoming “cool”) and then moved to the suburbs to raise our children when my H and I married. H has been working in Manhattan since his first job. I went to grad school in Manhattan when my oldest D was born, commuting from Long Island and very much looked forward to my time alone in the city one or two evenings a week and Saturdays as a young mother. I worked part-time as a teacher on Long Island when my D’s were growing up, but still felt the tug to live in Manhattan someday.
Both D’s decided to go to NYU. When the oldest graduated, we took a one bedroom apartment in Chelsea in a great full-service building–half a block from the High Line, restaurants, bars and art galleries. My husband and I became D’s “silent roommates”. She paid us about a $1000 a month towards rent, and we would come and go whatever weekends we wanted. Obviously we would try to accommodate her needs whenever possible. She would sleep in the pullout couch in the large living room and we would take the bedroom when we stayed over.
It ended up being very successful. We gave her an opportunity to live in a great neighborhood in a safe, doorman building. She gave us $1,000 towards rent–which made the luxury of having a pied a terre more affordable for us.
So we all had our NYC dream apartment.
Now, a few years into the arrangement, D is living with her bf on the Upper East Side and younger D is in the apartment, attending grad school at NYU. So the rent’s all on us for a year. Looking forward to her paying rent beginning next year. (Hoping the job market for art teachers in NYC is strong.)
Eventually, my H and I are hoping to have the apartment to ourselves in a few years after younger D moves on (or is nudged out.) Still holding on to our suburban home–I love the balance of living in the suburbs and having access to the city whenever we want it. The girls use our Long Island house as a summer home with frequent BBQ’s and beach outings with NYC friends. Almost all of the kids they grew up with in the suburbs are back living in NYC having scattered for college, but they, too, use their parents houses during the warm months .
Once we actually both retire, it might be too expensive to keep both our apartment and house. But for now, I totally get the young professionals who will squeeze into small apartments to make it work.
I always thought Manhattan was great for the elderly, if they can afford to live there. No need to drive, can walk or take public transportation, or uber/lyft/taxi anywhere. When older folks in rural/suburban areas stop being able to drive they’re fairly well trapped. Older folks in NYC have lots of opportunities to hang out with others whether casually in the parks or intentionally through community centers, theater, music, the Y,etc.
I get the yearning to be in NYC–I don’t live there, but my kids have (and it’s my roots, too–spent most holidays with family there.) It’s an amazing city.
What I DON’T get is why anyone would sleep four in a room to be in Manhattan, as opposed to another borough. I have known scores of young people who’ve moved to the city, and none of them were in a situation where they had to share a bedroom, and all happily lived in a borough (most in Brooklyn or Queens). There are, uh, numerous times that sharing might be awkward. When D lived there, her room was the sunporch of the apartment, but she had a door, albeit glass, and curtains for privacy. My niece was in a sort of half loft apartment where some occupants climbed almost ladder-like steps to their tiny rooms. But however they were configured, these young people are definitely having a NYC experience–I thought the idea that you had to live in Manhattan died off decades ago.
@cobrat, I don’t mind walking - I typically get in more than five miles a day, minimum. But it’s because I want to, and I’m not being blown all over the place while I do it. I can walk outside if I want to, but I can drive anywhere I want to go very easily.
@OHMomof2 it’s a very common thing now for retired folks to move back into the city. Shed your stuff, and your cars, everything right outside your door, many things to do that are discounted or free for you. No shoveling, no mowing, no worries about the roof… virtually everything deliverable to your door (although this is more common everywhere thanks to dotcom vendors now).
Plus, you live in a place your kids WANT to visit! They’ll be sleeping on a pull out couch, but no matter… lol
My H and I both grew up in the city, but not Manhattan. We lived in Manhattan until our first child was born. My sole regret is that I didn’t buy the studio we were living in but I wanted to use that money to buy a house. We lived in Queens and then moved out to LI 20 years ago.
I HATE LI! You can’t walk anywhere, there’s nothing to do, I HATE it. H loves it. I can’t wait to get out of here but I don’t want to move into Manhattan because it’s too expensive. I have friends who have done it, but most of them inherited parental money. I would like to move to Queens while I am still working in Manhattan.
As for the squishy living spaces, my D is living with her bf and 2 roommates in a 3 bedroom apartment (half of a 2 family home) in Williamsburg. It’s actually a very nice apartment, though they pay almost twice what I pay for my mortgage on a 4 BR center hall colonial on a 60 x 100 lot in a nice North Shore area. I told her that if she stays with him, they have to look into buying something. They don’t want to live in the city permanently but for at least a couple of years more is the plan.
I am so happy to be back in the city after 20+ years in the suburbs. People here are so nice. A young couple down the hall from me dropped off a bottle of wine in front of my front door with a sweet note apologizing if their newborn was too noisy! I had so much fun buying a teensie baby gift. I never had anything like that happen in the 'burbs.
@garland Having lived in both Brooklyn and Manhattan–and being very familiar with the resurgence of parts of Brooklyn and Queens over the last 20+ years–I do agree that both Brooklyn and Manhattan are unique NYC experiences, but they are distinctly different from one another. I don’t think the idea of needing to live in Manhattan died off decades ago. I would say that there is just so much space in Manhattan that the demand and ultimately the price forced many people to look elsewhere initially. Now understand, Brooklyn and Queens were never short of residents. But it became acceptably cool for artists and recent college graduates to explore cheaper areas like Brooklyn and Queens since there were just so many of them who could no longer afford Manhattan rents. And they pushed up rents forcing other residents to move out. And ultimately they developed into neighborhoods with restaurants and other amenities that appealed to a younger & or cooler customer base . But it is still not the Manhattan experience.
If I were looking for somewhere to live full-time I would certainly consider parts of Brooklyn again. Especially if I were young and looking to raise a family there. Certainly there are some good schools, nice parks, award-winning restaurants and music venues. But I would not be getting the same experience I have in an apartment in Chelsea that is walking distance to Meat Packing and the soon to be Hudson Yards. In nice weather, I’ve walked up 9th Avenue to get to Broadway shows. There is the energy and crowds of Manhattan that contrasts with Brooklyn’s mellower vibe. Both are unique, but not interchangeable.
Awe - the 30 minute subway ride to the boroughs. Lovely - especially at 8 am and 5pm in 90 degree heat and various disgusting and not disgusting people shoved up next you.
I would also be delighted to live in NYC for my retirement years–just need to convince H. (But I’m one of those folks for whom living in FL would be hell on wheels). I lived in Manhattan for grad school and several years after, at a time when the crime rate was at its highest, there was a garbage strike, the streets were dirty, I got my wallet swiped three times–and I still wouldn’t have missed the experience for the world. I think everyone should spend a few years living in NYC. It’s where I truly learned to navigate the real world. But I was able to live on the Upper East Side, with a brief commute to work.
My D lives in Brooklyn and attends grad school in Manhattan, a 20 minute commute. But one of her part-time jobs is a 45 min. subway ride from her place–the same amount of time it would take her to get to our home in the suburbs! I guess with podcasts and such to pass the time, it’s tolerable even if you don’t get a seat for the whole ride, but a subway commute that long would have made me nuts.
As for the apartments described in the article, my first thought was that these partial wall arrangements sure don’t leave any opportunity for what I will euphemistically call romance!
I couldn’t do it. I love my peaceful and heavily wooded backyard. I need space. Could never live in an apartment/condo with shared walls. If I want to go downtown I can drive or Uber and be there in 20 minutes. Best of both worlds.
My junior high/high school commute on the subway/bus averaged around an hour each way…and this was when the subways/buses still had graffiti, much more frequent breakdowns/delays, and high crime.
Compared to then, a commute of an hour on the subways nowadays is bliss. I can use that time to listen to music on my media player, people watch, etc.
One manifestation of how much NYC/subway has changed since my childhood-HS years is how I now routinely see people openly carrying and counting out cash…including large bills like $50s and $100s.
With the exception of the minute few oblivious tourist-types, no one would have dared to do that openly on the subway during my childhood-HS years as doing so would be the equivalent of painting a huge “Mug me, please!” sign on oneself.
If it works for these people to live as a foursome in a 1-bedroom, who am I to judge? I DO, however, understand the appeal of NYC. My daughter spent several years there, in Manhattan and Williamsburg. It was so much fun to visit her! NYC is intoxicating. So much to see and do and see and do – and never run out of ideas.
And maybe I’m lucky. Or maybe I have a huge “Dumb Tourist” sign on my forehead. But I’ve always found New Yorkers to be helpful, kind and fun. On my last visit, I wore a giant leg brace the length of my leg (severed ACL). So many people commented, opened doors for me, gave up their seat on the subway. And then there was the young giant black man, 6’5 if not taller, who was also wearing a giant leg brace. He saw me – a 5’2" middle age white woman – pointed at my leg and yelled, “We’re TWINS!”
