sounds disappointing. But i agree with the restaurant as this probably happens to them all the time. Could have brought some ice cream over though.
It reminds me of how recently i’ve forgotten decent coupons at home to the sporting goods store and the local pharmacy. Neither store had any extra coupons or would let me use the coupon that i knew i had at home – because i didnt have it. I was disappointed; but i understand.
I am not on FB but I encouraged my H and all of my kids to use different birthdays on FB as a way of deterring identity theft.
If I were the restaurant, I would also require ID. Anyone can go in and say it’ s my birthday. However, I would also allow a few days leeway because not everyone can go out on their actual birthday.
My state’s DL has some designation that indicates it’s for an underaged driver. Currently, my youngest is the only one who still has that one. It upgrades at 21 and, at that time, it will get him an enhanced as well.
Interesting to hear the feedback!
Like I said, it really was no big deal to us. And S didn’t go in saying “well I’m just going to show them my FB page!” - it just sort of came out in conversation with the waitress. And I’m sure they (and other restaurants offering this sort of thing) get scammed all the time.
But it had us talking. Probably if we had a better waitress we wouldn’t have thought much about it - she was just so…whatever - and said she would check with the manager…but kind of told us as in afterthought that “oh, he said we can’t do that”.
(the fact that they brought me out completely the wrong meal didn’t win them any points either!!)
But I did also think, hmmm… there are 5 of us, we had various drinks and appetizers, 5 full entrees…maybe even a “but I wish you a happy birthday anyway!” would have been a nice touch.
I did be sure to say when she asked us if we wanted dessert, “No! We’re going home to have birthday cake!” 
“They can also refuse service to people without shirts, ties, shoes, dinner jackets, with beards, with tattoos. You aren’t entitled to eat or drink in a private restaurant.”
Yes to the first sentence ( except maybe the beard thing…) The second is trickier. Even a private restaurant is considered a place of public accommodation under the Civil Rights Act so you have a right not to be barred from them or not be denied service based on religion, national origin, race ( there are cases that say having a beard can be tied to race so…), religion etc… That’s what those lunch counter protesters were fighting against in the 50’s/60’s.
Age is NOT one of those things. But in some places state or local stautues/regulations mimic and broaden the Civil Right Act and places of public accommodation like a restaurant can’t deny service based on a larger array of things including sexual orientation and age.
Since many liquor license laws require a business to actually check the date of birth they can’t claim that they just look at the orientation of the license.
This wasn’t a group of teenagers trying to scam the place. It was a family dinner! I work for a retail company and this kind of customer service would not have been tolerated. You always err on the side of the customer.
We encountered the vertical license thing with D a few months ago. None of us had ever really realized vertical licenses were for minors, I guess in our heads maybe we just thought all new licenses were vertical.
Anyway, had an interesting chat with the waitress, and we all googled and found that AZ actually passed a law a couple years ago that vertical licenses are acceptable ID for alcohol. Prior to the law former minors had to go get a new license upon turning 21. IIRC the law was passed because other states have similar laws, so AZ bars were losing money by turning away all vertical license-holders whose licenses were perfectly acceptable in their home states.
Neither the bartender or the manager knew of the new AZ law, which W and I found odd for a bar/restaurant especially one with the with “liquor” in the name like this particular one!
The restaurant may believe it is better to require ID of every birthday person than to try and decide whether a particular group is being honest or not. Kind of like being IDed at the Wegman’s liquor store to buy wine, even though I am clearly way, way over 21. Requiring ID of a teen in a group, but not of a family, could be seen as discriminatory. And there may well be families that are going out for a birthday, but not on the actual day that think they still deserve the free dinner.
“than to try and decide whether a particular group is being honest or not”
Another reason why I’d never go that route if I was a restauranteur. Why create more situations where you get into the territory of having to question your clients’ honesty? Always prone to problems and not the kind of interactions you want on either side.
We went out to dinner to a tapas place on the eve of DDs 21st birthday. DH and I wanted sangria with dinner and when the server asked for DDs id she produced her drivers license and I pointed out that she would be 21 in approximately 5 hours. The server smiled, said nothing and brought the pitcher of sangria with 3 glasses. If she had not, it wouldn’t have been a big deal but I’ve always thought that she handled the situation very gracefully and I remember it fondly . I am more inclined to go back to that restaurant frequently than I would otherwise.
It may not have been technically legal, but I think in this case it was really smart of that waitress to serve a young woman within hours of her birthday who was plainly with her parents.
It’s naive to think only teenagers lie to get services they aren’t supposed to get. Our grocery store provides an hour a day of free child care for kids age 3-8 who are potty trained. Parents lie on a daily basis and claim their 2 year olds are really potty trained 3 year olds. And they brag about it.
Our Y has up to 2 hours of free child care a day for kids. Different ages for different areas. Parent/adult whonsogned in the child is supposed to stay in the building unless they are runners and in that case they are supposed to give their cell phone number for contact in an emergency. Everyday parents lie about their kids ages to put them in the area the kid prefers. Every day parents lie and say they will be in the wellness center upstairs while they actually leave to go shopping at Target, without even leaving a cell phone number.
Parents lie about their kids ages and disabilities at Disney World.
Went into a restaurant a few months ago, with the same b-day policy. A couple ordered, the man got his free, showed his proof. The woman was on the phone most of the time before ordering, and during the meal. When their meal arrived the man suddenly “decided” he wanted his meal to go, so they packed it up and he sat there while the lady ate. There is no doubt he just tagged along with the woman(likely a friend) to get a free meal to take to someone else. Yes, such frauds exist; not just among teens.
As a note to post 28, in my state a server can bring alcoholic beverages to the parent, and the parent is legally permitted to serve it to their minor offspring. Here a bar cannot legally serve the minor directly, even with a parent there. But the parent can and the bar is not responsible for the parent’s actions.
I don’t really see the fraud in this story. If the policy says you can get a free meal on your birthday, why should it matter what the recipient chooses to do with the meal?
I’m still stopped at the point where you left the house without his having his ID - merely because if I can get something free (or discounted), I do not pay full price and I make sure we have whatever is needed. I assumed this was a female trait… Maybe I’m just weird (again)? 
However, had we been in the situation as a customer, I’d have paid figuring it was my fault. Had we been in the situation as an owner I think I’d have given the lad his free dinner, but it quite probably depends upon how many times I felt I’d been scammed before (by others).
Too bad that we have so many scammers and bald-faced liars in society today, to the extent that one can’t be believed on his word anymore so restaurants require all these hoops. I remember just saying it was (insert relative’s) birthday and we were celebrating, and they would bring out a cake or a cupcake or something.
S is prone to losing things, for sure! We searched for a bit before dinner and the wallet didn’t surface. At some point since we were meeting his wife we decided to just go leaving lost wallet behind. He knew that meant no alcohol and probably no free dinner - no worries. But as I said, because she prompted us by saying “what are you celebrating” we were honest and gave it a whirl!
It was his birthday - I wasn’t going to make him more anxious about “where’s the darn wallet” and leave his wife waiting for us over a $20 dinner!
I agree. The only fraud associated with taking the meal out would be that the restaurant obviously offers the deal because they expect that most people will bring others with them, which gives them exposure to new customers, and also some revenue when they order. They might want to note “dine in” only on the offer terms.
Since I’ve been over 21, which is more than several decades, I can count the times when I’ve gone out without my wallet on one hand with fingers missing. I can’t count the number of times I touch my left rear pocket to make sure I haven’t lost it. That’s reflexive. Probably close to every time I get up from sitting down.
Maybe the restaurant should have been more lenient on the proof, but that’s their call.
^Plus they hopes drinks will be ordered which where the profit margin is!
We have an expensive fish restaurant here that gives your age as a percentage off the birthday meal. I think it is good for10 days before/after your actual birthday. Well, they started limiting it to two people at the table because there were so many groups with multiple birthday kids. In my family, two brothers and my mother are all in the same week, and now that they are all getting older, that’s quite a discount. A friend made a tradition of going with a group of friends who all had June birthdays. Can’t blame the restaurant for wanting to make a profit.
My Sister and BIL were visiting us from England, they weren’t driving so left their passports at our house for safety.
We were 120 miles from home for a concert and decided to have dinner, they are both in their 50’s and were refused a glass of wine with dinner. Sometimes rules are just ridiculous.
“Probably not “legal”, nope, but again humans don’t always follow the letter of the law and make judgement calls based on common sense and judging the risks. ”
In my state, if a server was caught accepting a not legal ID, there would be a fine and possibly suspension of their license. For both the server and the business. Maybe the risk is small, but the consequence is pretty harsh.
People bend the rules all the time, sure. I do it myself. I don’t expect other people to do it on my behalf.