Many cash registers are now set up so that when alcohol of any kind is scanned, it requires an id (preferably a scannable one) be input before the purchase can be completed. Some stores will have a bypass scannable barcode that they can use, but in our state if the person running the register is underage the bypass code won’t work, so they have to ask for your id. And if your id isn’t scannable, they have to input your birthdate by hand. And if the store has been cited for underage drinking, they have to check the ids of everyone, regardless. Our grocery stores sell alcohol and you just know, take your id. And yes our state driver’s licenses are scannable.
If the restaurant can’t afford a little leeway now and then they shouldn’t have the policy. It goes to show some people just have no sense or customer service skills.
Things got so out of hand at my office with birthdays that I started a new policy of giving birthdays off for all employees. They all love the “free” day and it stopped all the drama surrounding presents, lunch, cake, shutting the office down for one and not another, people having to contribute, etc. In my yearly employee survey it is always a highly rated perk.
Re alcohol. It’s not about fair or nice or gracious. If the ABC folks come in and do a check, you have to have what they consider legal proof of age. Your state or your community regs. In many states, a second establishment (sometimes a first is an issue) citation is it, fines, maybe permit pulled. Any place (or mgr) that’s ever been cited will be super vigilant. They don’t “invent” what’s considered legit id.
I don’t get why you’d never again patronize a restaurant that didn’t give you a free meal, if the conditions are that you provide X or Y id. It’s simple math: no id, no treat. No one said they refused legal id. He didn’t bring it.
As for the elderly, if the policy is check all, they check all. In one store here, they enter your birthdate from your id. Not guess, not a verbal check.
That’s an interesting perspective and I can certainly respect it. A lot of restaurants in my area don’t give a free meal, but they will provide a dessert (and always without asking for ID).
What would be your take for a birthday person that doesn’t want the dessert, but their dining companion (let’s say their spouse or child) says “oh I’ll eat it.” Do you think it would still be wrong to get the dessert but give it to someone at your table?
Maybe the meal was for the birthday guy and he just wasn’t hungry right then and there.
Marketing 101. They aren’t offering a drive-up free take out meal just cuz it’s your bday, feed the masses. They want you to experience, maybe bring a friend, maybe order a beverage, and tip at usual rates. Fine by me. Most coupons I get specify " dine in." Afaiac, sitting there does it. Nothing says he has to commune with the companion. Nothing says how much you need to eat before asking it be wrapped up to go. And if you did take a leftover bday meal home this way, what says only you can eat it?
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To answer 64, Well, the conditions surrounding the meal and the companion to the b-day guy really would make the idea that he was hungry when he ordered, but suddenly changed his mind to take 100% of it away after it arrived at the table; yet he stayed there while his companion ate- that just seems too far fetched to be believed. I think far more likely is the one on the phone was taking the order from someone not there, and the b-day guy pretended it was for him. Has anyone here really heard of the policy that if it’s your b-day come into our restaurant, don’t buy anything. and we’ll give your friend, who isn’t here, a free meal?
I just don’t go for the idea that “if you can get away with it, it’s ok”. It isn’t a crime, but it isn’t ok, either. Or to slightly amend what was said in post 65, they aren’t offering a free take out meal just cuz you know someone that has a b-day.
To answer post 63, that is an interesting twist and a hard one to answer. In your example, the b-day guy is there, with others, has eaten his meal and is offered a dessert. I’m ok with his giving it to someone else at the table.
So he regifted. Maybe you want policy of eat here, no doggie bag.i can’t lose sleep over why he ordered what he did. Or exactly who eats what is taken away. This seems one of those questions that can spin forever. But this and but that.
OP’s kid will neef tk take his proper id next year. 
“Has anyone here really heard of the policy that if it’s your b-day come into our restaurant, don’t buy anything”
Well, they did buy something correct? His companion ordered as well and ate.
I have to respectfully disagree with MOWC’s perspective. The idea that if you cannot trust my word, then I won’t come back here again. If we really could trust everybody’s word, people wouldn’t order a b-day dinner they knew wasn’t for them, bars would not need to check id’s, way fewer laws would be necessary, and very few lawyers would be necessary. No, we have plenty of those things because we can’t usually trust people’s word.
We live in a culture that no longer honors personal responsibility. Everyone else should make up for our mistakes.
OP’s son did not have his ID along to prove that it was his actual birthday. If the restaurant manager had gifted him the free meal it would’ve been nice, but s/he was under no obligation to do so. The onus was on the part of the birthday boy, not the manager. I would kick myself in the butt in a situation like this but I wouldn’t have any ill regard for the manager and wouldn’t refrain from eating there again just because this happened.
Of course there was no obligation to provide the free meal for the OP’s son. However, this was a family dinner and from what I know of the OP, this family did not present as people who were trying to scam a free meal. It’s called customer service and would be the right thing to do for the restaurant in this situation. We get multiple letters and emails a day at our company praising various locations and employees for going above and beyond with customer service (also get the ones who are disappointed in an interaction) and I can assure you it is something that is not forgotten.
I think this thread has run its course.