We get together by 12 and eat hopefully at 2pm
As the person who is cooking the meal dinner is at 3pm. My D and other family members have to work the day after Thanksgiving so I respect that they need to go home and keep their own schedules. For people actually cooking the meal it is a long day. While I do a lot of prep the night before, I am usually up at 5 am going pretty non-stop until it is time to have dinner, then clean-up.
This way dinner wraps up around 7/7:30, my everyone can go home.
My MIL tells us to get there at 1 for a 2pm dinner, and then doesn’t serve until around 4. She is the WORST COOK, and the entire day is torture. I know, I’m mean, they are old, but I hate this holiday and dread it every year.
@NinaReilly
I get it. One of my older sisters (I have 4) is the absolute worse cook. Then to add insult to injury she is almost body searching you for a biscuit at the thought of taking home leftovers. Who would want to even eat that food, no less take it home?
I began cooking and eating at home and coming to be social. My younger sister started coming to eat at my house before we went to older sisters house. Younger sister told everyone she ate at my house and that is how I got thanksgiving dinner
It’s always just W, D, and I at home for thanksgiving. We spend the day hanging out, having D bring us up to date on the latest tunes while cooking whatever random stuff we feel like, and grazing on the results. Then we pass out semi-comatose in front of the tv by dinner time.
Whenever all the food is ready. I cook every year, so it’s up to me–probably 4:00ish.
We aim for 1:00 p.m. When I was a kid, my grandfather had to go to work in the late afternoon, so we timed it to accommodate his schedule. He’s been gone more than 27 years, but we still eat early, now mostly because I am divorced and my kids have to go to their dad’s for dinner in the evening.
For every holiday with the extended family no matter who is hosting we get together at 2:00 and eat 3:00-3:30. It takes over an hour for us to all drive to each other’s houses, so it works out that no one has to drive late at night.
We gather together around 5 or so and aim to sit for dinner at 6 or so.
We usually end up eating around 2, take a walk around the neighborhood before it gets dark and come back and eat pie.
Gather at 1pm, appetizers and then meal at 4pm. We time our holiday dinner to be gathered around table to enjoy late afternoon and sunset views before it gets dark
I most often have hosted some people in addition to son, H and I. Could be local or staying with us. We do most eat together meals in the evening but Thanksgiving is different. We do the early afternoon- such as aim for 1ish, it could be a bit later depending. That way people eat breakfast (often late) but do not have lunch before the feast. Then leftovers can be whenever people want for supper. And I don’t have to prepare a lunch or have those extra dishes in the dishwasher instead of available. Visitors can hang out before and after, take home leftovers and be home at their choice.
When the Packers played in Detroit that would of course be taken into consideration! Even though not big into football.
I like getting the dinner preparations over and done with. I do like to cook and people tend to like what I serve. Needing to wait until evening spoils the day- thinking about coordinating foods instead of relaxing. Dessert for any gathering is not until after the table is cleared and food put away. With guests’ help. On Thanksgiving some may opt to wait for pie (is there any other option?) until later. Not served with all at the dining room table necessarily.
All of that is past history. This year only the two of us in a far away state (Florida) and a (slightly) scaled down menu/quantities- can’t resist favorites (with leftovers!). We did keep the timing and inviting people while here, but this year that doesn’t work out. Ages and stages.
I cook for Thanksgiving and we eat around 5 to accommodate one of my BILs, whose family gathers earlier in the day. No one else brings anything other than wine. I don’t mind that at all. I love Thanksgiving, I enjoy cooking, I can do a lot ahead, and no one makes me clean anything after dinner. The one thing that bothers me: My one sister and her family don’t bother to show up until just before dinner, and they leave pretty much right after dinner is cleaned up. It’s like they’re coming just for the meal and then they’re done. It would be nice if they hung out for awhile before or after dinner. They don’t go anywhere else that day and don’t work the day after, so to me it just feels a little bit rude. I’ve tried doing various things over the years to make sure they’re comfortable, but nothing really changes, so I think it’s just how they are.
@NinaReilly , I get it. We used to travel out of town for T-day, so I would host the in-laws for a pre-Thanksgiving dinner the Sunday before. MIL/FIL always volunteered to bring pie. You wouldn’t think you could ruin apple or pecan pie, but you can. Annually. The pumpkin was hit or miss.
Now my in-laws are gone, my mom moved to a CCRC, and my family gathers at my house. They show up, oh, about 8 am from the hotel and have some breakfast and coffee, stay for lunch and watch football, then we have cocktails at 5 and dinner at 6:30. Everybody helps bake pies and make salads and side dishes. My green salads look like compost heaps, but my sister takes the same combination of ingredients and makes works of art. I don’t photograph food, but am tempted by her salads. And most years I’m not allowed to help with dishes.
Oh, and the in-laws used to host Christmas. When should we show up? Whenever. What can we bring? Whatever. When do you plan to eat? Oh, it depends on when everyone can make it. We never knew if we would show up just in time for dessert, or show up with a hot dish and wait 5 hours for dinner. Apparently it was too stressful to state a meal time or ask people when they would be there and share the information.
Although we eat at regular dinner time in my family, no lunch at our house that day. Light breakfast - some fruit, yogurt, maybe a slice of toast or an egg - but otherwise you build up your appetite for the feast. 
We eat after the Detroit Lions game, so 4 this year. Of course, I have an extended family that never can seem to get it together so we eat when all the food is still warm. It’s at my house this year, and I am going to do everything I can to get it all on when it’s all still warm.
All these times are super interesting to me!
Okay, so new plan is everyone gathers from 12:30 to 1 and we sit down in the 2 to 2:30 range. Thanks CCers!
I’m with @conmama and others who like to be able to enjoy some of the day by serving early. Our family members have long drives to get home at night, so starting early gives us a nice long visit before they leave around 8.
Don’t want to start another thread so I’ll try and blend this in…
When you are sitting down to enjoy the holiday dinner together, what is your family tradition dress - casual?- how casual? Dressed up? - how dressed up?
I am THANKFUL that we keep things casual. I’ll wear leggings and a longer comfy sweater or a pair of jeans and a 1/4 zip. Everyone does about the same.
Thankfully my friends and I always eat late, 6 or so, as I work the holiday every other year. I will be home on Wednesday, bake pies and have the yams ready to go to my friend’s place after work. Four of us families moved here around the same time 33 years ago. There are three left. One D and her sig other will attend. The food is always wonderful and we feel like family to each other. We dress up a little, in the casual way of our area.