<p>when my wife and I disagreed on some things we let our DD cast the deciding vote</p>
<p>me: Syracuse could be an excellent safety, its at the upper limit of DD’s prefered size range, but it has arch AND engineering AND liberal arts AND a decent sized Jewish community
DW: the area reminds me of Brooklyn College. And I got other bad vibes.
DD: Id only go there for Arch, and the arch there is killer. No.</p>
<p>me: Drexel could be an excellent safety. It fits all her criteria, and its fairly close as well, and this coop thing …
DW:Ive lived in philly. Drexel is ugly.
DD: Speaking of safeties in Philly, I like Temple, I’ll pick that over Drexel. </p>
<p>Other than that there werent really any “veto” kinds of decisions. </p>
<p>Once she was in there were some struggle over criteria, but it was more elusive and subtle than any one of us vetoing any of the choices. And we all worked together to learn more.</p>
<p>But then this wasnt that kind of disagreement, with DD wanting a school and one parent saying I forbid. If DD had liked Syracuse or Drexel, DW would have let her apply. Of course this was mostly a debate about aesthetics and vibe, not religion or politics or campus culture.</p>