Here is an update on the Caren Turner situation.
http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2018/04/could_fired_pa_commish_get_jail_over_badge_flashin.html
@jym626 the video you refer to in post #117 is only a subset of the entire traffic stop. If you saw the entire video, you might form a different opinion. Also, this situation involved NJ laws and the laws in your state may be different. The police officers clearly knew the laws that were pertinent to this situation.
Did anyone else notice how in Turner’s ‘apology’ and later statements on this situation, she keeps saying ‘as a parent…’. Seems so odd that she keeps harping on this given that her child has been an adult for well over a decade.
All I am speaking to is how he responded to her when he said “No you don’t need to know” and “thats all you need to. know”. If someone is confrontational, best, Imo, to say little or nothing- not to respond back in a way that can be taken as confrontational. There’s also a way to delicately end the interaction. They could have at some point said “we will be needing to tend to other matters” and tried to wind things up. Not sure if thats how they ended it. I applaud anyone willing to watch an hour of this video!
From the link in #120:
““On a scale of one to ten, this is ten beach chairs,” said Schluter, referencing Gov. Chris Christie’s infamous Beachgate P.R. headache.”
Gotta love Jersey.
lolol
And FWIW, I wasn’t the one who said the cops should have just given her what she wanted, even though someone upthread attributed it to me. In fact, I think they should have walked away, into their patrol car.
@doschicos - that quote is pure gold!!
I know the reporter who’s been covering this for the Star-Ledger (linked stories). He’s a fabulous reporter. Best investigative reporter in the state. He’ll be digging.
The Star-Ledger is a highly underrated newspaper. Great reporters and even better columnists.
This.
The standard advice when you have made a decision and there is nothing to negotiate is to disengage. For instance, I’d give that advice to someone dealing with a pushy salesperson. Just keep saying “no” or saying nothing, don’t answer questions that let the sales person keep chipping away at your arguments. The police had decided to impound the car, there is nothing monster mom could say that would change their minds, so it was not in their best interests to provide her with information that she could use to argue with them. Not her monkeys, not her circus. The officers absolutely did the right thing by refusing to let her bully them into an argument.
And yes, it doesn’t feel good to be told something is none of your business, and she probably doesn’t hear that often and didn’t like it. I wouldn’t like it. But it was still the right thing for them to do.
The same advice applies when someone argues with me when I give them a warning, ha! I’ve learned to NEVER ENGAGE but refer them to administrators. Some people are persistent…
Chiming in to add, if the car was not insured (not sure if that is the case), that’s a serious offense in NJ. My sister lost her license for two years and almost got jail time (had to do community service) for driving without insurance.
And yes to the Star-Ledger, though budget cuts have decimated it in recent years.
But they did give her a reason to argue, with the “you don’t need to know” response. What several of us are saying is that they should not have engaged in that way. They could have smiled and nodded, like we advise here. And then politely excused themselves. If they had said unfortunately they are only permitted to provide that information to the driver or the owner of the vehicle, or had answered the question of why they were cited (with the driver’s permission) succinctly, they could have then moved to the “smile and nod”. She likely would have continued with questions, which were not needing responses, but the response he gave (“no you don’t need to know”) ran the risk of being seen as also confrontational or argumentative and fueled the fire a bit.
Not a criticism, but sometimes drivers also get weary if the “tone” we get from the other side. Perhaps this woman had other interactions in the back of her mind? The authoritarian bit gets old fast with most Americans, yet so many cops still do it.
That having been said, I would never get in an officers face and tell him to shut the F up. That is way over the line, even assuming the cops did say something that set her off, which she doesn’t really allege.
She will not be going to jail. She used no overt authority or threats to get out of a violation. She just didn’t like the lack of info and wanted to say “do you know who Ian”. Jerky for sure. Not illegal.
And then the next person comes on and argues t hat “smiling and nodding runs the risk of seeming deliberately non-responsive leading to confrontation or argument and fueling the fire.”
I mean, there’s no pleasing some people.
She reminded me of my kids when they were little and tried to argue about a decision they didn’t like. “But whyyyyy???” After explaining the basis for the decision once my stock response was, “You know my answer isn’t going to change, right?”
^(Referring to the commissioner, not posters, to be clear!)
Didn’t the officer tell her she could get all the information from the driver? I think that’s reasonable, especially when you consider the kids were actually all adults.
Was just going to say it reminds me of the “why can’t I have candy before dinner” argument, @garland ! 
The commissioner reminds me a bit of how Reese Witherspoon acted when she was arrested for obstruction of justice a few yers ago. She also tried to throw her weight around with statements like “Do you know who I am? You’re about to find out” . And, yup— she ultimately apologized too.
As said earlier, the police officer lost a tiny bit of my support when he said he was partly reacting to the way she first approached them. I don’t think he should have given her that ammunition. She was a bully through and through.