This article sheds a different light on things:
http://jezebel.com/ex-legislator-on-trial-for-sexual-abuse-of-wife-with-al-1697708109
One week later he had sex with her and threw out her underwear afterwards.
I’m not sure that he had sex with her. There wasn’t enough evidence.
He put her undies in a laundry hamper…he didn’t throw them out. Did he put anything else in the hamper? Maybe he changed all of her clothes and put other things in the hamper? Or maybe she had wet herself or something.
I would hate to think that when my parents were invalids and we had to clean them up and put their undies in the laundry that some nut would think we had sex with them!!!
I thought they did a rape kid and found none of his DNA in her vagina.
Other experts have said that she could be perfectly capable of wanting sex and asking for it. I do not have the impression that the nursing home was particularly expert. The idea of all of these people frantic about the idea that the woman might have sex with her husband, from whom they forcibly separated her, is distasteful.
How incapacitated was this woman? If this incident occurred in May, and she died of Alzheimers in early August, she might have been very incapacitated.
The Jezebel article says “She washed her hands in dirty toilet water, forgot how to eat a hamburger and thought her longtime first husband, Slim, was still alive, the prosecutor said.”
Is there any level of dementia where the demented person would be deemed not able to consent to sexual activity?
If I can sign a document saying that I want X, Y, or Z to happen if I am incapacitated (living will etc), can I also sign one that says if I lose my mind, I want my spouse to have full spousal privileges??
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. The idea of all of these people frantic about the idea that the woman might have sex with her husband, from whom they forcibly separated her, is distasteful.
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exactly!
My 90 year old dad had dementia, but he had clear moments as well. To say that this woman couldn’t ever give consent is likely not true.
Are the “nursing home experts” claiming that if they were snuggling (or whatever) and she said words or gave signs that she wanted sexual activity, that he was legally required to say “no”?
All the way up to my dad’s death (in a hospital), he was moving himself to the side of the bed and patting the empty space asking my mom to get in bed with him. lol Now, I don’t know (or even want to know) if he would have liked sexual activity at that point, but it’s none of anyone’s business but his and mom’s.
I thought the article said they found seamen stains on her bedding?
While I do think the gist of the argument is silly, I’m a little uncomfortable that the husband went into the shared room and they had sex with the roommate in the room.
Before I read the article I thought the story would be that they were living in the marital home and the daughters had a problem with intimacy at all
I don’t know how impaired Mrs. Rayhons was. I agree with [columnist Sherry F. Colb,](When Does an Alzheimer’s Patient Lose the Capacity to Consent to Sex? | Sherry F. Colb | Verdict | Legal Analysis and Commentary from Justia) however, that there is a degree of impairment that would preclude sex:
The rest of the article is worth reading as well.
But, we don’t even know if he had sex with her. There was no semen in her vagina.
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I thought the article said they found seamen stains on her bedding?
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If so…Maybe she reached into his pants, and then she wiped her hands on the sheets. Seriously, there is no evidence of rape. This is a waste of taxpayer money pursuing this and ruining this poor man.
““If this incident occurred in May, and she died of Alzheimers in early August, she might have been very incapacitated.””
Maybe and maybe not. My dad was 90, had dementia, but went to wedding out of state in the spring and died on Aug 11th. We had a 90th birthday party (big party!) for him on July 11th. People can be “ok” for awhile and then go downhill within a week or so.
I think the governor of the state should be appealed to and he/she should just offer clemency or whatever is needed to shut down this farce from going any further.
I don’t know whether she was incapacitated. I can easily imagine that she wasn’t, and I certainly would not say that any level of dementia at all would mean that a person should never have sex again. But my aunt died of Alzheimers-- I can also imagine that Mrs. Rayhon was too incapacitated to know what was going on.
I’m baffled by a knee-jerk assumption that she must have been a willing participant. Maybe she was. Maybe she wasn’t.
I’m not baffled. I just dont’ think it’s likely that a man of his age would just “jump on her bones” if she was incapacitated or “unwilling”. Besides, I don’t even think sex happened.
Just imagine the scenario…an elderly man goes in to see his invalid wife. There is someone in the next bed. Is it likely that he’s going to force himself on her? It just doesnt’ seem likely.
If he weren’t a politician and if the daughters did not hate him so much…, this would not reach the courthouse.
If he was this sex-crazy old goat as the daughters try to portray him, wouldn’t it be easier for him to find sex elsewhere instead of making these long drives to the nursing home to visit his wife? Given the fact that in this age group women significantly outnumber men, there should be plenty of lonely, not so old ladies wanting to have some fun…
(The consent issue… but it is not an easily answered question).
At this point, CF, I’m beginning to wonder whether you don’t perceive virtually ALL sex as rape unless their is sworn testimony with notarized witnesses and breathalyzer/drug tests to boot.
And I’m beginning to wonder if you think there is even such a thing as rape. Is a man entitled to use his comatose wife as a party doll?
Is a demented patient comatose?
I fully get the legislative intent underlying the enactment of the law making spousal sex a rape if one of the spouses is not consenting to the intercourse or the touching. It was designed to protect victims of abuse where the abuser is legally married to the victim. Is this an abuse case? From what I’ve read, it is not as clear cut of a case…
This is an older, longer article with a different angle on the story: