"When Should a Kid Start Kindergarten?" (New York Times)

Parent Cafe
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<p>I read the NYT article this AM, too.</p>

<p>We had a somewhat similar situation to Corranged. Late birthday, reading and writing at 4th grade level in pre-K, tall for age, “socially immature.” We waited an extra year for K. Turns out there were sensory integration issues and a couple of other medical things going on that were labeled social immaturity becaue he was young – but when he was one of the oldest, it was clear something else was happening. Went to an ed psych, found some great GT resources, did OT, and at the end of the year, the principal recommended a grade skip to 2nd. The red-shirt year was worth it, as my pediatrician puts it, “to unstring the spaghetti.” </p>

<p>We have never looked back. I can’t imagine my kid a year behind where he is now. The school has no idea he skipped, and we have left it that way for years. Of the 12 kids in my child’s pre-K class (mostly Aug.-Dec. birthdays, and a couple in early summer, in a 12/31 cutoff district), everyone red-shirted except my kid.</p>

<p>I have a nephew who was born 8/30 in an 8/31 district and the school FORCED him to start K, even though he was tiny and clearly not ready. VERY bright kid, very kinesthetic learner, must be active all the time. Needless to say, he repeated K. However – the perception of him being unintelligent still follows him – except at the end of the year when he outscores all his classmates on the statewide tests. Then his teachers say, “oh…he must be bored!” </p>

<p>There are absolutely times when a kid should red-shirt, but changing cutoff dates so school systems can cram more academics down 5- and 6-year olds’ throats is political expediency in the hopes of raising test scores at the expense of small children, IMHO. On the other hand, those late birthday cutoffs help some families with kids who are ready and able to start K.</p>

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<p>sueinphilly, your son was born the day of the bay area earthquake, eh?</p>

<p>My observation from my own school years (started K in '86) was that most parents had erred on the side of pushing their kids ahead. My parents had not-- I have a fall birthday. Each year in elementary school my teachers would suggest skipping, but I never did it. My parents, for many complex reasons, preferred to supplement my education by assigning me projects at home where I could work at my own pace, plus at school I was usually able to read at my own level-- I have a distinct memory of peering up from “Little Women” to see two classmates reading Clifford the big red dog. When I got to college and celebrated my 19th birthday a few months after school began, many people actually asked me if I’d been held back a year. Nowadays, when I meet someone my own age, they very often graduated from HS a year before I did-- this is true of many people from different parts of the country. So I’m not sure when this redshirting began-- early 90s, perhaps?</p>

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<p>I have to admit that I’ve never seen this phenomenon of holding kids back from starting kindergarten. The age cut off when all of my Ds started was Dec. 31st. What happened in many instances, when each of them started, was somewhat the opposite of what is being described here. There were parents who would insist that their kid was too smart to sit in kindergarten for a year and wanted the kid to be placed in 1st grade. I think both situations are, generally speaking, a mistake.</p>

<p>Where we are now, there is junior kindergarten at all schools so kids start in the year in which they turn 4. Personally, I’m glad that it wasn’t in existence when my Ds were starting. They all went to a co-op nursery school 2 or 3 mornings a week and I cannot imagine kids of that age doing full days at a ‘regular’ school five days a week. It’s unfortunately not what is best for the kid, but what is best for the parent that seems to be ruling the system on this issue.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, alot of that kind of individualization (being able to read at your level) has been lost. It’s all about standardization, for one thing. D’s first grade teacher was horrified when she “caught” D. borrowing and carrying in arithmetic for fun before learning touchpoints. Many districts buy packaged curriculum now that’s even pre-scripted and the teacher isn’t supposed to let the kids deviate in any way. Then the emphasis on group work does away with the free time that “early completers” used to have for informal enrichment.</p>

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<p>Do almost all kids go to the junior kindergarten or mainly those with both parents working full time (similar to a preschool/daycare) ?</p>

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<p>This topic touches a hot button for me. My daughter’s birthday is November 29, which is 2 days ahead of the cut-off in California. Because I, as well as many of my friends in high school, had a late November birthday and was at the top of my class of 800 in high school, I saw no reason to hold her back. I had a big fight with her pre-school director, but when we had her tested by our district for Developmental Kindergarten, they said to definitely go for regular kindergarten. She was the shortest in her class–many of her classmates were more than a year older than she was–but she was one of the few reading at the beginning of first grade (she taught herself, by the way). Now that she’s at the end of her jr year in HS, I sometimes wonder if we did the right thing, because maybe she would have had all 800’s on her SAT’s instead of somewhat lower. She’s still doing very well in school, just not the 160 IQ type (which wouldn’t have been any different if she had stayed back). I do think that the boys in this school district are held back way too much, and then the parents have the nerve to complain that there aren’t enough super-advanced math classes (if the kid hadn’t been held back, he would have been in the same math class as everyone else!)</p>

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<p>AlwaysAMom, the nursery school my children had gone to was two mornings per week for the three year old group and three mornings per week for the four year old group. It was just that my D who was in the four year old group moving onto K the following year, truly belonged with moving on with them as her nursery also advocated. Kindergarten was a half day and in fact, got out at 11:30, earlier than the nursery school day at the time which went until 12:30 PM. </p>

<p>Now, I believe the nursery school has an extended day option or even five day option but none of that was the case during my kids’ preschool years.</p>

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<p>So interesting! </p>

<p>Read my post if you want to laugh, as it all got turned around on us repeatedly:</p>

<p>Youngest S born Dec. 31 in a Jan 1 deadline district; plus the older two were advanced academically but not so much socially/emotionally. We’re all physically small. I was training as an elementary teacher and knew the issues, having just read, “The Hurried Child.” </p>

<p>I told my principal I wanted to hold him back, and he refused, accusing me of redshirting so my kid would be the football quarterback someday. I said, “Have you met my H? I’m 5’2” and he’s 5’6. Do we look like we’re raising football players here? I just don’t want him to go through school as The youngest, smallest, least mature bright boy in the class." Learning was starting to occur in “centers” where one’s social strength influenced how many ideas you could sell the others on…so excelling academically was no longer an individual pursuit. </p>

<p>Reluctantly, the principal agreed. So for the next 11 years, he was - by 1 day - the oldest, shortest, funniest and most socially confident kid in the class; and often the brightest. </p>

<p>Then around l0th grade, he told me he had figured out how to graduate a year early by skipping 11th grade (summer courses, etc.). His confidence told him he could do this. He wanted to graduate a year early, take a gap year, and then go on to college. Reluctantly, I agreed.</p>

<p>As a senior, he was that “youngest” boy but it didn’t bother him, in large measure I believe because he’d had a great, confident schooling thus far. He wasn’t as comfortable, but it was only a year this way. Soon he’d get his gap year and make the difference back up again.</p>

<p>When he got into college and applied for his “gap year,” it was denied; they won’t hold his place for him. So now he has to go to college a year sooner than he anticipated, and not benefit from the luxurious gap catching-up year he had made for himself. It was a take-it-or-leave-it situation; he didn’t want to risk his admission to this college, so reluctantly he agreed. No gap year; he’s class of 2011.</p>

<p>I still am sure we made the right call at age 5 to hold him back a year, with his birthday off by just one day. After that, it got all screwed up. But still, he’ll be fine. I hope!</p>

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<p>My D was an october birthday. In our school district at the time, the cutoff was Dec. 31, so we never hesitated (already reading, socially fine.) The interesting thing is that in our district, the morning K is all the young kids; the afternoon K was the older ones. So she never had to be compared with anyone a year older than her.</p>

<p>Even more interesting–we have eight schools, two K’s per school. When they graduated HS, three of the top ten–including the val–came from her kindergarten class. Many other “younger” students also finished very high and had great college success. </p>

<p>the article seems to paint a picture of younger students who can never, ever, make the grade, but in our experience, it just wasn’t so.</p>

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<p>Our son has a Christmas Eve birthday. The cut-off was December 31st. He was reading, spelling at three. Other than not been in day-care (hence maybe some “iffy” socialization skills because of that), we saw no reason to wait a year.</p>

<p>Two weeks into school, we get the phone call. Son is inattentive, distracted, wanders the classroom. We meet with the teacher… she wants him taken out and started next year, as he’s too young. Urges we send him to daycare for the year.</p>

<p>We tell her he reads, spells. He’s bored. She refuses to believe it. Finally I convince her to get a few third, fourth, fifth grade books. Her choice. He read them all to her. Perfectly. Out of the six books, I think he had seen only one previously.</p>

<p>We spent the rest of the year convincing the system we did not want him skipped into first grade, which was what they immediately wanted to do.</p>

<p>One thing that did occur was that his small motor skills were significantly behind the older kids. His letter forming, drawing, coloring were terrible. When string instruments were offered in the third grade, it was suggested we let him try as a way of improving his fine motor skills.</p>

<p>It was the best advice we ever had. He picked up the viola and fell in love with it from day 1. We never had to urge him to practice, and often had to pry it away from him so he could do his other schoolwork.</p>

<p>He just graduated this May with his BM magna cum laude from Hartt on the viola. He still won’t put it down.</p>

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<p>In California, I’m pretty happy with the way it is. I’d even suggest moving the cutoff later, from Dec 2nd to maybe Dec 31st. Not that the vast majority of summer or fall birthday children will start that early, but those that are bright will have that option. I live in the Los Altos mentioned in the article. Yeah, about 25% of any class was either red shirted, or took kindergarten for two years. So many kids retake kindergarten or 1st grade there is absolutely no stigma attached. But, there kids with fall birthday’s that start on time. One of the 4.0 students/Regent’s scholars in my daughter’s graduating class won’t turn 18 until Dec 1st of her freshman year in college. My daughter will also be going away to college as a 17 year old. As did I. Looking back, yes, my daughter was the smallest in her class. But then again, she was also the smallest in the class behind hers. She started high school all of 4’9". But if we waited a year she wouldn’t still have hit 5’. (And now, of course, almost 4 years later she’s 5’5" and still growing.) She did great in school and on SATs and stuff, well enough to only take them once. I’m not sure a year would have made a difference there. And she is more than ready to leave home. So I think we made the right choice.</p>

<p>Her younger sister has a summer birthday, so we didn’t even think twice about starting her in kindergarten at age 5. She also is doing very well. But some kids need the extra year. And the vast majority of parents, working with teachers, have no trouble determining which works best for their child. Give the parents the option, and they will do the right thing.</p>

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<p>I have 3 boys, aged 27, 24 and 20. At the time my boys were in kindergarten, my district often held back the younger boys in first and second grades especially if the boys were very active. My boys were always active and I didn’t want them to be stigmatized by being held back after kindergarten as happened to some of my friends’ sons.</p>

<p>First son made public Kindergarten cutoff by 3 weeks but since he wouldn’t separate from me for private nursery school at age 4, nursery put him with 3 year olds so that he moved on with younger kids. Public school principal said son#1 would be the very oldest or very youngest depending on the grade placement but suggested the younger class as they worked better together as a group than the older class. Son #1 also wasn’t reading in Kindergarten. However, he blossomed in middle school and high school, was high school val, and went to an Ivy. Being with younger grade was good fit but he probably would’ve been okay with the older grade.</p>

<p>Son #2 was small in stature and immature so we held him back – with April
birthday (Kindergarten cutoff was October 1). However, teachers always thought he was one of the younger boys. He was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8 so the extra year was very very important for him. He graduated towards the top of his class but always was immature and short. Being in the younger class was good fit for him.</p>

<p>Son #3 was a June birthday but playmates were summer or fall birthdays. Although he was eligible for kindergarten, we kept him with these kids in school so he started kindergarten at age 6. We felt it was important for him socially. He was tall until high school when others shot up. He too graduated at the very top of his class. Being in the younger class was a good fit for him although he might’ve done well in the older class. </p>

<p>My experience is that kindergarten placement at age 5 or 6 should be dependent on the kid and the kid’s needs. We did not do this so our boys would be smarter, taller, or better athletically – none of that ever occurred to us at the time although now I hear people mention that as a rationale.</p>

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<p>It has to be a two way fit, too. The same child at the same age sometimes would do well in one kindergarten classroom but not in another, even in the same school.</p>

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<p>Garland, what I am observing on this thread alone, is that many of us had children who were the youngest child in their class and who succeeded and even were at the top end of the spectrum in these older peer groups. So, again, when it is generalized that being young will be a problem, it just isn’t so for SOME kids. For others, it is a problem. In other words, I agree with ya!</p>

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<p>Conyat, the the two elem schools each of my kids went to for K, there was just one K class (an afternoon and morning session but with the same teacher). </p>

<p>I have been a teacher of young children and it is essential to individualize. The child doesn’t have to fit the school. The school has to fit the child. Even when all are the same age, their learning needs are a wide spectrum.</p>

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<p>Sooziet what you describe is ideal. But unfortunately the ideal isn’t always met, so parents do have to consider the classroom that their child is going into. </p>

<p>For one thing, the kindergarten curriculum varies widely from setting to setting. Teachers are getting less and less flexibility to individualize due to the pressures of standardized testing. Sometimes they even have scripted lesson plans that they’re supposed to follow. And some teachers are just naturally going to prefer one learning style over another or require more or less structured behavior than a colleague might. </p>

<p>My sister teaches kindergarten with a very laissez faire approach. They can get up and walk around the room if they feel they need to, lay down on the floor, bunny hop to the library, etc. The teacher in the room next to hers is very oriented toward discipline and seatwork. </p>

<p>So it ends up that once school starts and they see how the kids do, the kids get shuffled around so that my sister gets the kids that might be considered ADD in another setting or who haven’t been in structured programs before. It works out OK, at the end of the year, her kids do just as well (sometimes better) on standardized tests than the other teacher’s. </p>

<p>But if the school had just one kindergarten class or the other, I’d be reluctant to enroll a child in it if I wasn’t sure he would do well in that environment. I don’t think either teacher would change a lot if she were the only one in the grade, however good her intentions might be. They just have very different philosophies about what benefits children most at that age. (And for some kids, a laissez faire classroom can be just as challenging to adjust to as a highly structured one).</p>

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<p>I enjoyed reading everyone’s posts. It’s important to validate everyone’s experience, from soozievt’s enabling her gifted daughter to be moved ahead, to those who are grateful for an extra year for their grat kids. Brava(o) all parents who advocated well for their children! The Montessori idea allows kids to progress at a more individualized rate. And these posts demonstrate how poorly generalizations work for children.</p>

<p>The article stresses the class gap. It is upsetting to think of parents red-shirting kids to give them an extra advantage in sports or academics. In my experience this hasn’t really worked for the people who attempted it. Either the kids don’t want to do sports or they don’t over-excell their classmates by the time high school comes (although some posts contradict this and I’m sure those cases exist as well). The problem here is the message those parents are giving kids that they need to be superstars. So much is motivation! Those kids are being primed for narcissistic disorders. (And I don’t mean those for whom an extea year was entirely appropriate for developmental reasons. I applaud those of you who made this choice. </p>

<p>It would benefit society at large if we would advocate to the same degree for lower income, immigrant, urm kids as well. Holding them back ican be just another year of watching TV at home if we don’t create and fund appropriate programs staffed by the most gifted teachers.</p>

<p>One personal pet peeve (as you can tell from my earlier post) is the degree to which height becomes an issue for boys. Administrators of public and private schools said, “But he’ll be short,” in such whispered tones that you’d think they were saying he would contract leprosy. I’m happy to say he’s handled this well. At almost 5’8" (with fluffed up hair as Tom Cruise says on his web site) he doesn’t even weight 130. His two best friends are 6’2", wrestlers and football players. He made a video showing himself, then pretending to take steroids and morphing into his friend for health (with wacky side effects about the dangers of steroids). His height was certainly more of an issue for the largely female administrators than it ever was for my son. I’m glad I didn’t allow this way of thinking to dictate his life (although it was a struggle at the time).</p>

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<p>I found the article amusing; to me it really highlighted how so-called educational “research” can be used to justify pretty much whatever you want to justify. Apparently the <em>latest</em> research completely contradicts the research from the 80s that I used when I decided to allow my son to skip kindergarten entirely and enter 1st grade at 5 years and 11 months. He was already reading, he wanted to do it… Of course, his social skills were (pregnant pause) interesting (he got into a fight with a kid 6" taller than him, won, got held in for recess for a month–and thought it was worthwhile because the kid never teased him again)… but I’d do it again. He was bored silly until he hit college, in any case.</p>

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<p>My son was born 9/4/87. My H wanted to hold him back, but there was no holding this kid. </p>

<p>All along the way we considered different ways of potentially holding him back – including a repeat junior year at a prep school, and finally did a PG year at boarding school before college (which was his choice). </p>

<p>That was the solution that worked for us – he was never a candidate to hold back – but he used the additional year of <em>high school preparation</em> to physically (athletically) and academically be ready for his college experience.</p>

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<p>Son has an Aug 18 birthday with cutoff of Sept 1 in our school district. We sent him on to Kind. and he was reading by December. He was not a talented athlete–and principal wanted to hold him back at the end of first grade! First grade public school class had some real doozie kids–both emotionally disturbed as well as academically gifted. We overrode the principal who angrily allowed him to move on. Counselor in the school worked with us fortunately and helped to place him with teachers who were nurturing and offered him some challenges academically. After elem school, we had enough and moved him to a more academic private school where he soared and did not feel compelled to be a jock! As he has just finished his first year of college, I can look back and remember what Pediatrician said–do not hold him back–he will level off! And he did! We have no regrets as he has flourished. Yes, each child is an individual, and I can’t help but wonder if that elem principal still thinks that he should have been held back!
The flip side to this is my nearly 45-year old brother who was held back. Yes, he excelled in sports, but it made no difference to him academically or personality wise. He is still just as quiet and introverted and only attended 1 year of Junior college. Every child is indeed different–parents, listen and pay attention to your child. You are with them more hours in the day than teachers and principals and sometimes you have to go with your own instincts. And, by the way, I am a former teacher with a graduate degree.</p>