I am so sorry. Take the time to mourn. See how you feel without the pup.
I have wanted a dog the entire time we have been married and H says no. I like dogs, I think it would have been good for the kids, I would have done all the work. H likes dogs, too, and I think he would have enjoyed owning one. But because he was against it, we never got a dog.
He had a few months when the kids were in their teens when he softened on the idea. He was open to the idea. During that short time, I found an injured kitten on the side of the road and brought it home. We kept it. H had trouble with the kitten: it clawed the couch, it jumped on the countertops, the small things kittens do until they learn not to. Because he couldnāt handle the kittenās training period, I gave up on a dog. A dog would be so much tougher and more destructive, I knew it would be a battle at my house and I decided it was not worth it and the openness to dogs period passed. But if H were to change his mind today, I would still love to get a dog. He would complain and weād fight and Iād do all the work, but I 'd like to try it. With no kids in the house, and H semi retired, maybe it would be okay.
In the meantime, now we have three cats, all rescued from the side of the road at different times. They do not scratch the couch or jump on the countertops and I do all the cat care. They come running when I clap for them. H acts like they are a nuisance, but when I am out of town and he is here alone (seldom), he cares for them and talks to them.
Dog lover here. We currently have two. One is a foster failā¦
My thoughts on fostering are:
Do not, I mean, do NOT foster unless you are ok with getting attached and adopting.
I also agree with the poster who said that fostering is really all of the hard part (the chaos of a new dog in the house) with none of the best part (a dog that has settled in to your home) over and over again.
It is a wonderful thing to do for the dog and can be rewarding, but IMO, it does not check the box of gaining a loving companion/addition to the family (which is what our dogs are for us).
My thoughts on dog ownership at this stage of our livesā¦
I love our dogs, I am happy we have them. Throughout our kidsā childhoods, having a dog was just one more variable in our busy, chaotic lifestyle - in some ways, it didnāt feel that different than having young kids, LOL. That said, now that our kids are growing up and I can start to see daylight into a future where weāve got the time and funds to pursue other interests (besides 24/7 parenting) and travel more extensively, Iām realizing that weāve got a dog that is likely to be with us for a good 12-15 years yet, and that is going to present a complication for our plans. Even spontaneous overnights in the city will have to be planned out. If I were to do it over again, Iād probably take a break from dog ownership for the next 10-15 years, until weāre at a place in our lives where weāre ready to settle down into a quieter, home-based lifestyle again.
At the moment, we do not have a new furry child! My husband does mention if a few times a week, but more in the manner of saying we would have fun with a dog, not that he wants one. His travel has picked up so much, he is gone more than he is home. He knows there will be no dog unless he is around to take care of it.
I do miss not having a pet as this is the first time in my adult life without one. That said, I have also enjoyed my carefree life without one. When it is storming outside, I am thankful I am not walking a dog that decides not to do his business because he is having too much fun playing in the puddles. Or coming home from work after a very late day and not having to worry I am neglecting the dog. Grabbing a quick, dinner, showering and getting in bed is very nice.
Maybe we will get one in the future, but not at this time.
My mil and fil did not have a dog in her late working years, early retirement. Once things for them slowed down, they got a dog. But now they are dog less and thinking but not acting in getting one.
My sister in law has a grand dog that they can see whenever they want and take care of a lot (way more than I would like). But they have the option to say no. Works for them right now.
I am not a dog person, nor is spouse, so I just clicked on out of curiosity. But thank you for explaining a phenomenon to me that I havenāt understood IRL.
Co-worker complains bitterly about the dog. Cost, travel, hassle, canāt do yoga after work, spouse travels too much. Dog dies- before you know it, thereās another dog. OR- friend expresses constant irritation that once the kids leave, the entire burden of care falls on her (not that the kids pulled their own weight- but at least available for a daily walk). Swears no more dogs- time to travel, join a bookclub which meets right after work, not having to arrange a kennel for an impromptu weekend. And before the BFFās can say āhurrahā thereās a new dog- rescue, foster, puppy- doesnāt matter- wagging its tail.
Iām starting to see that itās like complaining about your kids- doesnāt mean you donāt love them, you just get used to complaining about them!!!