<p>I keep coming back to this thread…my H has a sister like the mother in the OP’s scenario might be, only she takes HERSELF to the doctor for all kinds of imagined problems. Then she calls her siblings to alert them. Then she’s home, the doctors having done this or that test and found nothing. Now she really IS injured and in a care facility for the foreseeable future, but her siblings are so fed up with her that they’ve drawn back.</p>
<p>Maybe the boyfriend’s mom is justifiably worried about some underlying medical condition or maybe she’s a bit “off” and is using him to feed her medical paranoia. Unfortunately, a girlfriend can’t do much. However, if the BOYFRIEND is feeling abused by unnecessary medical trips, HE can go to someone for help-perhaps at school. </p>
<p>Ema-how awful that your parents would not provide you with necessary medical care. I’m glad your away from them now. </p>
<p>“Did I say that it was universally true? No. I said that you have a “better chance” meaning that more often then not, you do more harm by not going.”</p>
<p>if you are going to the doctor for every little thing that’s excessive. Sure, it won’t do any harm but more often than not it won’t do any good either. </p>
<p>While it is true that not going to a doctor can cost the health system a lot of money (for example, cancer found early versus found later), there is a cost to excess visits to the doctor. Doctor’s offices may kind of like it, since these days they operate on a volume basis in many practices, but each visit has its costs, which isn’t just what the doctor bills, but often it is in tests ordered, and some doctors to placate patients will give them antibiotics even if they assume it is just a virus, which not only is ineffective, but the antibiotics are expensive, plus over prescribing them has led to whole classes of antibiotics that no longer are effective thanks to resistant bacteria strains. While I don’t agree with those who say the problem is people overuse medical services as the reason it is so expensive as a primary factor (the idea that health care be very expensive to consumers is dangerous, because then people don’t go to the doctor, get sick, and only go when they are already very sick), there is a cost to people who run to doctors with everything and want ‘treatment’ and such. </p>
<p>For the OP, knowing when to go to the doctor is one of those things where you need a doctor to figure out if you should go to one…is that fever and sore throat strep throat, or a viral infection? Is that lump you feel someplace a benign cyst or is it something more? Is that pain in the back muscle aches from too much yard work, or did something get seriously hurt? The OP’s mom could be overcautious, but maybe there is family history where someone ignored symptoms and got into trouble (I am like that, I hate going to the doctor, and have a high tolerance for pain and such, so I tend to be bad with that). I agree totally with others, there is nothing to be gained from getting involved, and unless you see something where your BF is being hurt (like if she is having him take medicine for some perceived illness on her part that the doctor didn’t prescribe), chalk it up to an overcautious mom if you will. In a couple of years, he’ll be on his own, and at that point it won’t matter;)</p>
<p>I agree, best to stay out of it. Your boyfriend has 18 years of practice handling his mother.</p>
<p>A typical appointment for acute illness comes to about $80 depending on the area, $20 co-pay and $60 from insurance. The doctor walks away with about $16 of this. Going more than necessary is still a relatively minor cost. </p>
<p>An auxiliary pacemaker, good for about 4 years, costs $124,000 from the insurance company. In rough numbers, the manufacturer gets about 20% of that, the insurance company gets 20%, the salesman gets 20% and the hospital gets 40%. Primary care, going to the doctor when sick, is not the driving factor in health care costs.</p>