<p>I feel I have to apologize to 3 groups of people:</p>
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<li>myself and people like myself who cringe at kissing goodbye the many thousands of dollars of scholarship to attend a decent place like VCU and write checks for many more thousands of dollars to attend an excellent school like CMU. Like many, I scrimped and saved and lived on next to nothing and put myself through graduate school and paid my undergraduate loans off slowly and painfully. I know the value of a dollar and it is hard to see why an undergrad education has to cost so much.</li>
<li>I also feel I have to apologize to some of teh greatest educators our family has encountered and is likely to encounter even at CMU…the dedicated teachers and staff at our local middle school that should take a great deal of credit for the accomplishments of their graduates including my son and his peers at the ivies, MIT, CMU, as well as VCU and all the state schools…60% free/reduced fee lunch kids, 90% minority, a PTA budget of about $3,000 in a good year…my son’s annual tuition is more than some of their salaries.</li>
<li>to hardworking bright students who don’t have a choice in where they do their undergrad or CC degree because their parents didn’t earn or save enough to give them options; I believe that post-secondary education should be a right not a privilege for students who have the skills, smarts and work ethic to succeed at college.</li>
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<p>I think it’s great that you acknowledge the hard work that these teachers put in and how their work helped so many kids achieve such success. I’m not sure that it follows that you have to apologize to them because you’re not sending your kid to an in-state school. One has nothing to do with the other.</p>
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<p>It’s very unfortunate that other hardworking bright students don’t have options, but I don’t see why you feel the need to apologize to them because your kid does have options? Would you feel the need to apologize if you bought your kid a bicycle / car / computer / trip to Disneyworld that others can’t have? I’m sincerely not following here.</p>
<p>That’s so interesting. You and I probably come from completely different political/social views as I see no reason for you to apologize. You’ve worked hard; you’ve earned your money. You’ve chosen to spend(invest) it in your son’s education. Good for you!</p>
<p>My husband didn’t go to college or at least get very far. He came from a dirt poor (as in, the Catholic church gave his family shoes) family of factory workers. My husband is a very smart man but he made poor choices. He could have graduated college and gotten a good degree but he dropped out early in the game. However, he’s a very hard blue collar worker and always, always, always was able to make a decent living whether as a cook in a restaurant, cleaning offices, or as a driver, which is what he’s been doing for the past 22 years.</p>
<p>I chose to stay home with my high need/special needs kids rather than work full or part time as a deaf/special education teacher. There was no way I wanted to give up my life (which is what teachers in my field essentially do) with my children in order to teach. I’ve always worked part time as a dancer/choreographer/ASL teacher but it’s hardly enough income to make a dent. I also sell books on Amazon. In the end, we live in one of the most expensive cities in the nation on a modest income of 78K. We aren’t poor, don’t qualify for any special services, pay for all educational expenses because we homeschool, and we’ll take our chances on college and hope and pray our children have excelled enough to get great scholarships.</p>
<p>No reason in my mind for either of us to apologize. I am exceedingly grateful for wealthy and/or enterpreneurial people like you. You are paying full bill. That allows the school to help others who can’t afford it. Large donors to colleges help schools bring in lower income kids who couldn’t otherwise afford to go. You see, it works just the way you would want it to work.</p>
<p>People like our family are on the cusp of being locked out of some schools because we earn too much for things like Questbridge but have no savings because we don’t earn enough to have a savings and cover emergencies. But that’s reality. My kids will end up somewhere and that’s good enough for me. And even if they ended up like my husband, well, he’s a blessed man to have a steady job with benefits. We are deeply grateful even if we do live paycheck to paycheck.</p>
<p>I guess “apologize” is too strong a word. I do feel a sense of humilty when I say my son goes to CMU and did not choose to go to our pretty darn good state schools. The OP that started this thread has a point…going to a pricey and selective college for undergrad is a bit like having a BMW when a used chevy truck is just as effective for getting you to and from work. Rather than apologize…I guess I feel that I want to tell people that I do value our great state university system; I do think students at CC and state schools are smart and creative and my son’s choice does not reflect some type of judgement on those schools or students; last, I feel the need to recognize that my son’s achievements and those of his peers are, at least in part, a testament to how well these state schools prepared many of his fine teachers in public schools.</p>
My kids will end up somewhere and that’s good enough for me. And even if they ended up like my husband, well, he’s a blessed man to have a steady job with benefits. We are deeply grateful even if we do live paycheck to paycheck.</p>