When your child stays home from to study for a test

<p>State funding isn’t done directly on a per-head basis here. It’s calculated though a hellacious formula involving a town’s residents’ incomes and property values, how many low-income and limited English kids there are, how many lottery tickets are sold, etc.</p>

<p>Some towns get 90% of their school funding from the state, others get less than 10%.</p>

<p>It’s a crazy system. But at least we don’t have to worry about getting punished by the state if our kids miss a day.</p>

<p>I let my son take last Fri off to complete an English report (due that day) and this is extremely rare for me to do. APChem on Mon, Academic Awards Banquet on Tues evening, AP Calc on Weds, etc. To top it off we were hit by a drunk driver coming home from the awards banquet (shaken up, but luckily all were okay) - I took 2 days off of work. His HS allows 8 absences per quarter and he hadn’t had any - he needed this mental heatlth day IMO. He promised to spend the time wisely and finish the report, which he did.</p>

<p>One day is not going to make or break them, but sometimes you need to cut them some slack and show them you understand all they’re going through.</p>

<p>I called my kid put sick as well. Once we had to go to Juvie court for a curfew violation. Took the day off. Thought we needed some mom daughter time and it was good. One time may older daughter just needed a down day. She slept in, we took a great hike, talked, and she caught up on things. It was also good.</p>

<p>As for studying for the ap, why not? Sometimes it clears the clutter to focus on one test for a day. During the aps at my daughters school, unless you had a test you weren’t at school for the two weeks of testing. It was nice.</p>

<p>Wow. So. Much. Judgment.</p>

<p>I’m sure I’m going to get flamed for this, but for the first time ever I agreed to let ds skip an afternoon, after the AP English exam last week, because it was his and his girlfriend’s anniversary and they wanted to spend the afternoon together. He didn’t participate in the official Senior Skip Day because he needed to make up a test so I figure he was due. I’m not a fan of letting kids miss class, but he’s on a block schedule and that day is his light day and what with AP exams it’s really a pretty worthless exercise. He goes to a rigorous school where almost every kid takes an AP exam (or six, like ds did last year) so many classes in the past couple of weeks have literally had five kids in them. He did get to see “Crash” Monday in class, so that was time well-spent. :rolleyes:</p>

<p>And just to be clear, no one would ever confuse me with a pushover. In fact, I’m kind of known as being a hard*ss. My kids were not allowed to take an off period or be a teacher’s aide or any of the other blow-off-type things kids do in HS. But, come on, people – sometimes a little flexibility is in order. </p>

<p>Oh, and in our district official attendance for state funding is taken at 10 a.m., so as long as you’re there then the school gets funds.</p>

<p>I don’t have my mom call in if I take a day off and am not sick. Both of us refuse to lie, but in my school, it doesn’t really make a difference. The school just calls my mom to let her know that I haven’t showed up</p>

<p>I don’t get the judgemental attitude. What’s wrong with taking a day off if it’s used wisely, like a mental health day that is used to get organized</p>

<p>And taking a day off to study should in no way indicate a student is dim, or shouldnt be in the class, that’s just arrogant and snobbish thinking. These kids are doing more in highschool than many of the judgemental parents ever did in highschool and if they need a day, well, let them have a day, especially the seniors for heavens sake.</p>

<p>Seriously, life is way too short to always have your focus on the next obstacle. The next test score, the next raise…Life is full of opportunities, it shouldn’t be full of regret.
Let us give our children the gift of reflection, grant them time to stop and think, to " smell the roses".</p>

<p>So I checked and in our district junior year attendance is on the senior transcript and senior year attendance is on the final transcript. About 10 kids in our schools join local unions their junior year to get a head start in the trades (spend senior year as apprentices). I’m willing to bet $ that attendance is v. Important in being chosen for that program!</p>

<p>omedog, what a neat program!</p>

<p>cobrat, how would everyone in your life have judged me for getting my mom to write I had an appointment with Dr. Skywalker after I finished my AP Chem exam since my friend and I wanted to catch the new Star Wars movie?</p>

<p>I just got a look at our transcripts and it has DAYS PRESENT and DAYS ABSENT in big capital bold lettering. Not something that a person wouldn’t notice or judge. My kid has missed too much school with my permission- I hadn’t really cared because he is such a hard worker and so busy all the time. It’s embarrassing to acknowledge how the “work at home” days have added up.</p>

<p>Our transcripts show tardies as well as days present and days absent. S1 had a gem of a PE teacher who dismissed them when the bell rang…4 minutes passing time…too bad they had to change to their regular clothes. He had some insane amount of tardies his sr. year. Looked really nice when he sent the final transcript to his college.</p>

<p>Like many others have now mentioned, I don’t get the animosity toward those who might take the day to study, or as a mental health day, etc. Why not let the kids (and their parents) decide for themselves what will be most productive. I would not advocate lying…making up some excuse, but just writing in asking the school to excuse the absence (which is all that is required in our district) seems perfectly fine. I would imagine that most professionals who have a big presentation due would find it frustrating to have to spend the work day prior in meetings or working on less urgent matters.</p>

<p>I don’t care myself, but I am acutely aware that many do. It is something like a firm handshake, or proper grammar- while not a huge deal, something people judge (obviously, from this thread). I would bet it falls under the category of pet peeve for many and to call it unimportant seems naive.</p>

<p>And seeing as how this is CC- who’s to say that attendance wouldn’t be a tipping point. 2 candidates so similar , why not pick the one with a better attendance record? It almost seems like an easy choice to me</p>

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<p>Funny part is your appointment with Dr. Skywalker* would have not aroused as much judgement as taking a day off to study for APs. </p>

<p>Reasoning for the latter was the idea that if one needed to take a school day of to study for APs, the student in question would be judged to be academically dim not only by classmates, but especially teachers/admins with the latter group wondering what went wrong with the admissions process as it was supposed to weed out such “weak students” from entering the HS in the first place. </p>

<p>There was an expectation by teachers/admins that all students admitted at my HS should be able to cope with the heavy rigorous workload…including AP exams if applicable without taking a day off. Taking a day off to study for AP exams is perceived as a sign the student in question doesn’t have what it takes to compete at the school’s academic level and possibly shouldn’t have been admitted in the first place. </p>

<p>Consequently, any classmates who did…and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were tended to keep it as a shameful secret and would never admit it. Especially on school grounds as that could get them in trouble with school regulations if a teacher/admin got wind of it. </p>

<ul>
<li>Heh, that would have been regarded as a well-earned day off and a few teachers/admins may even jokingly scold you while giving you a pass with a wink and a nod.</li>
</ul>

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<p>Many employers…including a few older relatives who do hiring will do precisely that. Especially the ones who spent time in the military and regard 100% attendance as an absolute minimum requirement unless the candidate interviewed can provide a reasonably acceptable excuse.*</p>

<ul>
<li>In practice, limited to legitimate medical emergencies/appointments and death in the family. If you took mental health days, they’re not the types of employers to whom you’d admit that fact. It’s also a reason why they’d view an older friend who brags about the fact his recent HS graduate son had 100% perfect attendance as odd. To them, that something to be expected, not something to brag about.</li>
</ul>

<p>I’m an honest person but in this case I would lie without hesitation. It’s none of the school’s business why my child is absent this one day. I’m still the parent and it’s my judgement call.</p>

<p>If I have to “play the system” a bit in order for there not to be negative consequences of this one time absence then I will.</p>

<p>Good heavens, I skipped a few days of school in my senior year for far less noble reasons and it didn’t lead to a life of crime or hurt my academic progress!</p>

<p>P.S. I learned a new word this week that I think sums up many posts I read on the Internet… Sanctimommy</p>

<p>I believe in mental health days and I believe that working at home can be very productive. My D took a mental health day at end of senior year to make her final college decision. I would have allowed her sick days or mental health days at her discretion because I trusted her to know how she was feeling and to balance her responsibilities. Thus far, my son hasn’t earned that trust. For him, I need to see documentable evidence of sickness or bodily fluids, in order for hi to take the day off.</p>

<p>There is going to be absolutely no perceptible difference between a student with a transcript with 3 absences Jr year and one with 6. No one, not a single admissions reader, is going to blink twice at either of those, let alone try to make some judgement that either student may have taken a couple of days to study at home instead of play board games or watch Shrek. If, as you said, it’s ‘embarrassingly obvious’ and think this will be an issue in admissions then perhaps you might rethink your criteria of when your student stays home. That’s a personal decision.</p>

<p>I think to much attention is paid to “perfect attendance.” At our middle school there was even an award given out for it. I felt like sending a note to the parents of those kids thanking them for the weeks my kid had to stay home with the fevers and flus their kids brought to school so their kid could get a perfect attendance award.
There’s no shame in taking off days here and there if your work is getting done and no one is going to miss your presence, such as a group presentation. Sports teams miss classes all the time and no one blinks.</p>

<p>I’m surprised that schools show absences on the final transcript sent to colleges. Didn’t happen at the private mine attended.</p>