<p>Years ago, when I was a young mother, two "older "women ( ha, I think they were probably my current age or younger) told me, a full time working mom, to never work part time. Well my H got another job and we moved to a new city and a part-time opportunity came. I took it and worked part time until the last few years.</p>
<p>I’m not sure if it was the best or worst of both worlds. I did a little of each job or not enough of each. I may agree with those “older” women. I’m not sure.</p>
<p>I think the part time job may be the best of both worlds. Relieves some of the financial pressure from the other person, and as long as you like your job, you have the opportunity to work some of the time, but not get burnt out by working too much. For several years, I think we had the best deal going. We both dropped many trips, and ended up both working a part time schedule while the other person was working. Didn’t get paid as much, but both of us had tons of time at home. And when my husband got laid off, I still had my job. Until I got laid off too (I don’t recommend dual unemployment for anyone, it’s more stressful than both people working all the time).</p>
<p>Well, it could be considered the worst because I am not anywhere where I would be in my profession or making the money I would be if I had been working full time. And my kids were still in daycare some of the time when they were very young. I could not do all the things SAHM’s do. And I admit to sending my kids to school when they were not that sick but maybe I would have kept them home if I had been a SAHM. H and I have no relatives that live near us.</p>
<p>If you had it to do over again, would you do it the same way? I would. But I would have worried less and never taken phone calls on family vacation. </p>
<p>There are some things I would have done the same, and some things I definitely wouldn’t have. If I would have known the future, I would have taken the opportunity with my first pregnancy to get out of the military. If I knew that as soon as I had my baby that Desert Storm would start up, and me and my husband would be constantly deployed, having to hire a babysitter, whose husband my son called, “Daddy” and that I would be severely depressed by constantly being away from my child, I never would have stayed in. But those were back in the peaceable times, where we weren’t constantly at war, and I was foolish enough not to realize what could happen. And on one hand, I despair that being gone from us constantly during those early times made it very tough for my child. Then again, I love and admire the person he is now, so it’s hard to regret any of those decisions, if he would have turned out differently.</p>
<p>Well, that sounds extreme, but I’m glad it turned out well!!! My youngest considers the navy sometimes. But I hope she doesn’t do it. On the one hand, it’s admirable and I have nothing but respect and gratitude for our military people, on the other hand… I’m glad she started with college. </p>
<p>
Yeah, but when my house is engulfed in flames, there’s no substitute for a fireman. When junior has a sore throat I have many options for babysitters so I can go to work.</p>
<p>Well, you never know, she might go into the Navy as an officer one day.</p>
<p>Maybe. You never know. She’s smart and very physical. </p>
<p>@gmtplus7. Where I live now is a volunteer fire department They turn them away so many want to do it</p>
<p>
Yes, but it takes specialized training to be a volunteer fireman. You can’t assign a live firefighting job to an ad hoc, unexperienced teenager and say “here’s my cellphone number if u have a problem”</p>
<p>I’m not going to agree that you can have day in day out high quality Childcare with the magical use of a cell phone. If you believe that is all your children are worth, that’s between you and you. </p>
<p>Anectdotally, when I was a kid we babysat for nearly nothing and the boys mowed lawns and made a fortune. Now the girls charge 10-13 an hour and make more than the kids doing retail. </p>
<p>Things change. </p>
<p>I think it takes a special type of person to be a fireman. You have to be willing to run towards disaster to save people, when everyone else is running away. The 343 NYC that were killed on 9/11 were running into those burning buildings. Everyone else was running out of them.</p>
<p>It also takes a special type of person to do a good job taking care of children. But it is a different sort of person, with completely different attributes. The heroic, macho (be it a man or woman) that we want to save us and our families, is not the same person with compassionate, gentle qualities (whether man or woman) that we want to watch our children. Though some people have all of those qualities. I’m lucky to be married to one of those guys.</p>
<p>To be honest, that’s why I really like the comparison. They are both essential, they both take skill to do well. </p>
<p>It’s hard to get a good babysitter. My girls used to get paid close to 20 an hour for a Saturday night. They were trustworthy. The kids liked them. But they were busy. You had to make it worth their while. Friends were getting the same. </p>
<p>Both jobs are essential, but there is essentialy a limitless pool of people to draw from to do childcare. Not so, for firefighting. Daycare worker wages have a supply side problem.</p>
<p>My oldest was in coop childcare, that many grad students and professors used.( it was just a couple blocks from the university)
Several of the moms were single, but they shared housing with another mom for support, which I really admired them for.
It is pretty tough to be a single parent.
But sometimes it is the best choice, and oftentimes it isn’t really even a choice.
There was a single parent who was a dad, he was also a widower.
But most of the single parents were women, although there were a couple parents that were divorced and both parents did hours.</p>
<p>My mom was a SAHM for my siblings and my first few years. She finally became so bored after being president of the PTA, scout leader of Girl Scouts, volunteer work, etc., she went to work. My father’s income could, and did, support us. That was not the issue.</p>
<p>I am the only one of her 4 children that did not have a SAHM. She was not my Campfire Girls leader. She was not the president of the PTA. Yet I knew she loved me. She also managed to make a few of the important things such as the candlelight ceremony for induction into Arista ( NYC’s version of National Honor Society). Interestingly, I am the most educated of my siblings and have the most respected(?)’, higher level(?) job, even though I worked part time most of the time. </p>
<p>My mom would probably have some very interesting input to this thread if she was alive. She was the one, see post #1, that went to work and wanted to get a credit card from Wanamakers in NYC. They told her they needed her H’s financial info. to give her a credit card. She asked if she made enough income on her own to get one. They said her income was adequate, but they still must have her H’s info. She fought it and won, paving the way for today.</p>
<p>I got paid 75 cents an hour to watch three little kids, when I was 13. One night the house burnt down. Luckily for us, I was able to get us out, but when we were all safe in the neighbors house, the three year old ran down the street and back into the house, where he felt safe. Fortunately, I got him back. I think they got a pretty good deal for 75 cents an hour. But I’d have to be pretty desperate to pay $20 an hour for anyone, that’s crazy expensive. I’d think that would be a great job for a SAHP looking for some extra cash, if they could bring their kids along.</p>
<p>Just a thought…growing up in the '60’s and '70’s I never heard of a SAHM. I knew lots of moms (no dads) who worked at home raising children, including my own mom who worked very hard, but they all defined themselves as “homemakers” or “housewives”. So when the kids were grown, the women were still “homemakers”. The term implied that their job was in creating a home, not just raising children.>>>>>>>>>>></p>
<p>Yes, my mom was amazing. She babysat two or three children, kept house, cooked every day and in the summer, my parents had the most wonderful, huge garden and she canned and froze stuff like crazy. We had fruit trees and grapes. She worked so hard. She had a talent for doing that and giving us a wonderful upbringing.</p>
<p>My expat colleagues & I often joke that in our next life we want to be expat wives. These SAHMs have maids, nannies, drivers, gardeners, cooks. These ladies do PTA meetings during business hrs since hardly any of them work, then lunch, spa appts, and coffee (if they’re Yanks) or tea (if they’re Brits).</p>
<p>I picked the wrong “career”.</p>