<p>We have abandoned our plan for a Colorado retirement due to the high costs of construction (even though we have a lot). I might have posted this earlier in the thread, but we learned this spring that construction of our house in Colorado would be $300 a sq. ft. (not including the land). The driveway alone was going to be $200K (grading issues, etc). Also, as we have gotten older, we want a more moderate climate- and we were in one of the milder parts of CO (Glenwood Springs). Also, being close to family and friends has become increasingly important. Now that our daughter and son in law are here in TN (and there is a good chance that they will remain here), we are planning to find property somewhere in middle TN and build a variation of H’s carefully planned CO dream house. There will have to be modifications (like adding air conditioning…), but we will have better access to transportation, to the east coast and to top medical care. I am excited, because every morning when I wake up and go outside to run, I am convinced that I live in paradise- and I’m not even retired yet! I really love TN, and am sure NC and SC are wonderful, too. We will still spend a lot of time in Colorado, but it won’t be our main residence.</p>
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<p>SouthJerseyChessMom, we haven’t really tried to influence our kids, one way or the other, as to where they go to college or eventually settle, although they know that we would love for all of them to be close to us. D1 is well into her career and lives very close here in Toronto. D2, also a grad and working, is living in another city but her line of work will likely mean constant moves as the job entails repeated job searches for your entire career (oh the life of an actor!), D3 is still in college and has plans to remain in our current city, D4 will begin college in September so it’s too early to tell what her eventual landing point will be, a niece who is our D5 begins law school in September in our city and will remain here. </p>
<p>We have moved a few times through the years and have lived in a few different cities. We always kept our home here because we knew we’d always return and remain here. We’ve been in the same community (minus our few forays out of the country) since our D1 was born. We have a longtime group of very close friends, as do our kids, we have community involvement projects and causes, so we have always known that we will stay here. Now that it appears that some of our children will, too, that’s just the icing on the cake. We can’t imagine leaving all that we have here, particularly family and friends, and starting over somewhere else at retirement age. </p>
<p>We are investigating the possibility of buying a place somewhere where we can spend a couple of months in the winter, and that family can use as well, but haven’t made any decisions. Have looked at Pinehurst, NC, Kiawah Island, SC, and Naples, Fl.</p>
<p>All I need is a good library and access to hiking to be happy. H likes urban but doesn’t want to pay up for that lifestyle unless he has a job that covers the higher costs. For example, we both like the vibe of Charlottesville (where S1 is now) but housing prices are ridiculous, in our view. We have considered an interim move to a small condo in DC or NYC after we become empty nesters if interesting well-paying jobs materialize but in my experience well-paying and interesting appear to be mutually exclusive attributes. If we move where jobs are not a factor it will be to a place with very inexpensive housing, preferably near a national park. We have also talked about joining the Peace Corps as a couple once the youngest graduates from college. H really wants to live overseas for awhile. </p>
<p>We do not expect to live near the kids because we expect they will move frequently and they probably won’t live near each other. The oldest hopes to live in South America for a few years after graduation and then go to grad school for an MBA (UT Austin is his first choice). Then he expects to live and work in NYC for a few years–that probably takes us 10years out for him before he even thinks of “settling.” S2 is still completely up in the air but also expects to work overseas for a few years after graduation, go to grad school, and then move to wherever he gets a job. Whereas S1 likes edgy urban and hot (loved living in Lima last summer, is in Brazil now and will live in Rio his senior year), S2 likes rural, remote and cold places (loved Russia and wants to go to Ireland). Same for H (urban) and myself (remote). Therefore, there is little chance S1 and S2 will be near each other. No pressure on either of them to try to settle near us, wherever that may be. We may not “settle” ourselves until our 80’s.</p>
<p>alwaysamom-"We can’t imagine leaving all that we have here, particularly family and friends, and starting over somewhere else at retirement age. "</p>
<p>Exactly- it is hard to imagine (and, I lived in Salt Lake City, Billings, and Missoula, Mt, before returning to my roots in NJ :), so I have done my share of moving -prekids, though. Will be interesting to hear your NC, and FL reports </p>
<p>We lived a schizo existence, my family pressured us to stay in the east, his parents the west, now I am in the position to voice an opinion for my children, and don’t want to them to feel this turmoil. </p>
<p>MofWChild-in laws built that Colorado dream house 14 years ago, complete with mountain view, now regretting they did not build a ranch style house, as they face some typical health issues, and those three levels of stairs are no longer enjoyed.
LOL, and father in law just reminded me two days ago, about not needing air conditioning in the mountains, as we wlited in east coast humidity last week.
Sounds like you have worked out the next phase!</p>
<p>dg, winding up near our sons is extremely important to us. That being said, (1) what are the odds that they will settle down near to one another (let alone to us) when one graduated from school in the northeast and has accepted his first job there, while the other goes to school in the midAtlantic and may very well accept an offer there? (2) neither one may stay put in the place where he begins his career? (3) both may marry women who don’t want to live near their inlaws 
How do parents address this?</p>
<p>^^^exactly - the “next” phase !!!
The Analyst- interesting future ahead :)</p>
<p>I’m with worrywart. We’d love to be near our sons, but who knows where they’ll end up and for how long. Just after seeing my in-laws move 1200 miles away before any of their grandchildren were born, them not really wanting to travel more than once a year, and never really getting to know their grandchildren, has DH and I convinced we don’t want that to happen to us.</p>
<p>It’s something I’ve thought about a lot, too. One reason for deciding to ultimately move to the Cape May area is that it’s the place we’ve vacationed with the kids for many years. Thus, even if they should move far far away (shudder), it’s someplace they know and love and will always be happy to visit. As of now, D and BF live in NJ, and seem to plan to for the foreseeable future, though since neither has settled long term career goals, who know? S is up in the air totally now, though our proximity to AC is certainly a selling point for him to live nearby…</p>
<p>Amen, shell. Saw my inlaws do the same and then lament that we didn’t come to visit much. OTOH, Garland makes a good point (maybe cuz I happen to agree with it.) In the face of uncertainty concerning our kids’ eventual careers, if we relocate to a place that would make a good family vacation destination, then maybe the kids will come.</p>
<p>I really enjoy New England but the high cost of living is driving out young families. They are replenished with college students that settle down after school but there’s a constant migration out for a lot of young families. It’s not that bad in NH compared to MA but our population has been stagnant for a while and I expect it to turn negative soon. We’re losing young adults in their 20s which doesn’t make for a good prognosis going forward.</p>
<p>Garland- I grew up vacationing in Cape May! Chalfonte-Haddon Hall etc. My mother was the Queen of the Baby Parade (a zillion years ago) when that was a huge deal. I became a skeeball wizard at Cape May. Small world.</p>
<p>I think there comes a time where you need to make decisions for yourself and not worry about what the impact on others might be. They are highly likely to do the same some time in the future and all the planning will turn to dust. Stuff happens. People get new jobs in new towns or get divorced.</p>
<p>We moved across the country based 1) affordable undergrad 2) affordable grad schools (state schools) and 3) someplace to retire for me and someday maybe the kiddos. So here I am in NC and love it, love it, love it.</p>
<p>So far so good with the undergrad and grad schools, we live within commuting distance to 3 big uni’s (Duke, UNC and NCSU). Costs at the schools (state) are some of the lowest in the country. Local community college is a few miles away and offers an amazing class selection for an incredible price. </p>
<p>Housing and cost of living is low and the weather is pretty fab as well. Kiddos grew up in So Cal and Northern CA and all have agreed they are happier here. Kiddos all just got back from a vacation in Laguna and San Diego and have said again how much they love it here. Beach is less than 2 hours away and mountains 1 to 2 hours further.</p>
<p>Our little neighborhood is more rural nestled in a forest and we have great neighbors. I love my little house and so do the kids. So I am here to stay. Next time I am moving out is in a wood box!!</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>^^^^ great to hear there are happy “endings” or ‘beginnings’ —</p>
<p>Sigh, to move to NC would probably cost us MORE, and the heat… Everything is relative, when you are used to high costs you have a lot more equity and realize much greater savings… Wonder if Wis will ever become zone 6 for gardening (I’d even go for a solid zone 5) if we wait long enough…</p>
<p>Now that’s looking at the glass half full, wis! The upside of global warming.</p>