Don’t let those hyper competitive NOVA moms make you think you are behind. You are just fine.
Tip from me, as you investigate schools, take a look at the club availability for dance. My son wanted to be able to sing but not major in it, so that was a large part of what made certain schools in or out on his list. His final school provided fantastic opportunities for non-music majors to sing, and he is loving school. Great classes, great kids, and lots of amazing singing. He’s in a Mens Glee Club of almost 100 guys. It’s perfect for him. Added bonus was instant group of friends/familiar faces on campus and older guys to act as mentors too. Looking at the singing group pages also gave an insight into the vibe of the schools.
Good luck as you start your search and school visits. Keep it casual and low stakes for the next year as her interests expand and she figures out the atmosphere and type of campus she prefers.
For example, a quick google search found these at W&M, JMU and UVA. Larger schools may have more than one dance club. Just something extra to look for at the schools on her list. Maybe she will try out for a cheer/pom dance group that performs at games, but these are lower stakes and lower time commitment.