Sometimes it seems these stories are not real. If you are in IT, set this up on line and do the transfer during your lunch break from your computer at work or cellphone. If you prefer to do it from home and your internet is unstable, complain to your landlord to fix it and/or get a personal wifi hotspot. It can’t be that expensive. Set up accounts that let you transfer electronically and/or take a photo of a check to deposit it (you get an instant email confirmation). All of these will save you a lot of time and headache, and if you think going into the bank on a Thursday is busy, just wait till Saturday. Sorry, but your wife needs to learn the modern ways of doing things and not expect you to stay in the dark ages with her.
My wife will not be happy if I just go ahead set it up and do it. In our family, we only do things both of us agree at. If she does not feel comfortable to do online banking, we will not do it. Maybe someday she will be willing to accept the new way of doing things, but not today. She just does not have a lot of confidence in using modern gadgets.
She went to bank to open/invest her yearly $6500 (?) IRA at the beginning of April. She actually believed the person at the bank (this time at BofA) did not know how to do this properly either. She originally wanted to add the money to her existing IRA account. But she decided against it when she sensed that the person who was helping her seems to be unsure about what to do. So she asked him to open a separate account. She was going to go in to have these two saving account combined into one account later. (I do not blamed her. In the past 2 years: in one year, a guy at Chase did not do it right and we were asked to go back to fix it. In another year, a young guy about 25 yo at another branch of Chase admitted to us that he did not know the procedure exactly and made us wait there for 20 minutes until he got hold of someone in their backoffice by phone to walk him through with the procedure. It is also odd that the procedures were different in these two years (they used different forms.) In our experience, the people at places like Fidelity are more properly trained to do this kind of thing.
The IRA deposit is a separate issue. And if you both have to agree I order to make a decision, don’t agree to this decision.
“None of these three banks were known to us.”
Mcat, let your son have some autonomy. He’s grown, has been in med school, lives away. Let him walk down the street in his new area and find a bank he can work with. It doesn’t matter if your wife prefers this or that or someone said something to you or you didn’t like the guy at the bank or there is a line on Saturday or…
The only way to problem solve is to problem solve. Not dissect it 20 ways. He needs to be mature and independent to be an effective doctor. We all need to give our children that gift.
Ok…so here goes. go to B of A with your wife. See if you can set your son up as a payee each month. OR if your son has a B of A account, just deposit whatever you plan to give to him in THAT account (easy peasy to set up with B of A) and let your SON deal with it on his end. I’m sure he will figure it out.
If your son needs a personal check one of three specific banks, then guess he will need an account at one of those three banks. Let him deal with things on THAT end. He is a first year resident, right? My guess is he can manage this! He will need some account to have his earnings direct deposited into as well.
I’m quite surprised the landlord won’t accept an echeck for rent payment. Have your son check this for sure.
But if he does need a check from one of those local banks…fine. Let your SON handle that part.
And you do know that B of A will issue a check to a landlord…right?
You both need to agree in order to do anything? Gosh, in the Romani household, that would mean nothing would ever get done.
I went into 2 banks for the first time in years this past week. I decided to reconcile my accounts since between Mr R and I we had something like 7 bank accounts and it was just a pain. So I went into two banks and closed those accounts. Put the money I pulled out into my credit union account via mobile deposit.
Emailed my credit union and got the form to add him to my CU account (we don’t live anywhere near the closest branch since this was where our undergrad was). Mailed that in today.
All of this took less than 2 hours total. I am about the same age, if not a little younger, than your son. PLEASE let him do this on his own.
mcat, I’m sorry that your wife doesn’t want to join us in the 21st century but this is simply how things get done now. Almost everything is electronic and it is much, much quicker than going into the bank.
I highly recommend a credit union because you can pull money out of ANY credit union ATM and not pay fees.
@thumper1 my landlord at my last apartment (left in 2013) did not accept anything other than a physical check. I can only pay for my water by physical check, too. (Yes, I called the city and asked). There are a few places that still only take physical checks for some godforsaken reason.
With that said…
I don’t believe this for a second. A check is a check. No one gives a hoot about WHERE that check comes from. Either you misunderstood something or your son isn’t being truthful with you.
^ Or, my wife did not hear it correctly. (I personally believe this is the case.) Her hearing is not what it used to be. Also, when she heard many things, she could mix them up. For many years, she said to me she did not want to use any mobile phone because she had a hard time in hearing what is said. Another potential factor is that the most proficient language is different between our son and us. What we said he might not always get it correctly and what he said we might not always get it correctly, unless we sit down and talk to each other face to face. (I am not sure if other 1st/2nd generation family could sometimes have the similar problem. I notice some in this situation choose to abandon their native language altogether (BTW, I personally do not think this is a good idea unless the kid has problems in language acquisition in general) and switch to English completely in their daily life – This is mostly because the parents are more motivated in learning/mastering their newly adopted language than the kids are for their first language they most likely used almost exclusively at home before the school starts.)
One of my friends who is about the same age as me has another problem in using his smartphone: He could not read characters clearly enough so it would be a pain for him to use it (he needs to keep magnifying the words shown the the LCD screen.)
I do not know (and do not care) what bank DS will decide to use. We only know one of his bank accounts and we may just choose to deposit money (preferably electronically if I could could convince my wife to do this) to that account, should he need some money urgently.
For our kid who might need money quickly…she has one of our credit cards with her on the account. It is only to be used for emergencies…or pre-approved charges. Maybe you should consider that.
My kids have both had accounts at BoA for years and the last time they stepped inside the bank (located 2 blocks from our house) was when we set up the accounts. They use their ATM cards as debit cards or hit an ATM when they need cash. They deposit checks with their phones. We transfer money into their accounts when they need it. No fees for any of this.
Your son does not need a bricks and mortar bank. Banking with a teller is both time consuming and inconvenient. He can bank electronically at 2AM on a Sunday from your own living room. Since your wife is the one who likes to bank with a teller you only need to have a bank that’s convenient for her.
BTW, your wife may have misunderstood what BoA was telling her about direct deposit and fees. The bank has a $12 monthly fee which is waived if the account has an average daily balance of $1,500 or more or when the account has a direct deposit of $250 or more. IOW, if your son doesn’t keep $1,500 in his account you can save him $12/mo. by setting up direct deposit. Student accounts don’t have a monthly fee anyway so this is moot for now.
Thanks. He did have one of our “shared” credit card since maybe freshman year in college. He would not use it in general. But he has the option of using it in emergency.
I had to look up ATM vs. debit card. Who issues ATM cards, minus the debit feature?
My DH has an ATM card without debit feature. He has to ask for it at every renewal…but he does NOT want a debit card. The banks have honored that.
I have an ATM without debit. But it may be ineffective overseas without a mc or visa affiliation, so I have been told.
Most, please consider no longer enabling your wife to live in the dark ages. Home/online banking is not “new”.
“I had to look up ATM vs. debit card. Who issues ATM cards, minus the debit feature?”
My Citibank does. I have no interest in a debit card and have never had / used one, because there’s simply no point for it for our household. There’s no reason I would ever wish to pay for something and take money out of my account in dribs and drabs in the moment. I’d rather put it on a credit card which of course I pay in full every month and get the miles. So, with thumper and jym that makes 3 of us 
Count me as another who had to look up ATM vs. debit card in order to know their differences.
We have almost never used our debit cards. If we received such cards, we often just put them away and choose not to use them. Occasionally, we forgot to call in and enable them. I think we actually requested a bank not to issue us such a card when we opened one of our checking accounts.
Basically, we only use 1) credit card 2) personal check 3) cash.
I think DS likes to use his debit card for small purchases. I actually do not know which debit card he normally uses (he likely has two) but I heard from my wife he prefers to use one of his debit cards, unless it is for a large purchase (e.g., more than $100, like booking a flight) - then he likely uses his credit card (but usually not the one which we had added his name into since his early college years.) Using a credit card instead of a debit card will be better for him because it could help build up his credit.
Hmm…do you know your adult son’s or daughter’s credit score? We do not know it. I even doubt he knows. Heck, I do not know mine either.
Mcat, my kids are 23 years old. I know they have credit cards: I don’t know the details of how they use credit vs debit vs cash. It’s not my business. They are responsible; I don’t need to micromanage that. And no, I don’t know their credit scores.
My kids both have credit cards. It is NONE of my business what their credit score is. None.
Does your son know your credit score?
Did your kids get their credit card while in college? My kid’s application to CapitalOne was rejected. She was in college. She would very much like to have her own card to get away from parents’ money noose. For now, she’s stuck unfortunately.
My oldest is only 20 and I don’t know those details either. Or his credit score. I only know mine because I have a Discover card and they tell me every month.
My bank card is both credit and debit and I only use it as credit. Usage fees are different.
Mine both recently got cars and told me their credit scores, which I forget.
At a point, sooner than some like, parents need to let go. Ime, it pays off better than stifling them with mommying. We’re there as back up but the classic way to lose a young adult is to treat them as children.